help please just someone

im struggling with life at the moment and i feel like ending it. My friend recommended to speak to you guys and now i feel like this is my last chance.Nothing is going right for, my grades are above average however i feel like i'm never good enough, my parents never show any sign of being proud.In school this year they made GCSES much harder so a new C is the same marks and score as an old A this extra pressure is getting to me an i'm am struggling. My social life is pretty much non existent and i usually get 4-5 hours sleep at night which makes school mornings hard. On 01/12/15 i did attempt to kill myself by overdosing but all i did was pass out which was a slight joy for me because i think i got more than 8 hours sleep. I have to wear a long sleeve shirt 24/7 because of the cuts on my arm and i also have cuts on my thighs. My eating pattern is broken because i usually forget to eat and when i do eat its mostly me being forced to eat by a friend. I am considering suicide and i know you are going to say i'm not alone but i feel like the end is near and i'm sort of happy about it. i have already written a note just in case i get brave enough and do it. I know my life is going to end and hopefully it will be soon. I feel really unmotivated and in sum aspects it is effecting my school especially last week when i tried to tell my maths teacher why i couldn't hand my homework; the reason was because i was cutting my arm on my desk and the blood covered the desk, But i told him i didn't do it and in response i was shouted at which didn't help my low confidence level. P.E is hard not from a physical stand point, the reason why its hard is because i'm not allowed to wear long sleeves which means i have my cuts on show and some were still bleeding, all i could here is dirty comments on how i wanted attention but the truth was i wanted the complete opposite of attention. this has been going on for the last 11 month and i'm running out of time.

13 Replies

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  • Hello,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having such an awful time. It sounds as if things couldn't get much worse for you, which means that they will only get better in the future.

    I was hospitalised with depression in my teenage years, and honestly thought that I would feel suicidal forever. But that's just the depression tricking you. Now I am older and settled and can say that I am happy. And you will be too. Nothing lasts forever, and what you are going through is just a temporary state of things. I'm not trying to belittle what you are feeling as I know that it is absolute hell, but if you can get through this you can get through anything, and your experience will make you so much stronger in the future.

    Sorry if I'm sounding clichéd, it's just that I've been there and I genuinely know that there is hope for a better and happy future. You are and everything is going to be ok.

    Do you have support from doctors or a therapist/ psychologist at the moment? If not, it might be worth you or your parents looking into.

    Please feel free to message me on here.

    Sending you strength and support,

    Sally

  • I'm not getting any support and I'm scared to talk to my parents about it

  • Why are you scared of talking to them? Do they have any idea how you are feeling do you think? Maybe there is a teacher or counsellor at school who you could confide in? Or a friend who could talk to someone for you?

  • I'm afraid they will mock me ,that they won't understand and when it comes to people at school they say they're there for me but only for a day or two then they get bored and forget about it. I attempted to tell a teacher but I felt like I was being talked down apon

  • Aww well it might be hard for your parents to understand as the feelings that you are experiencing are difficult to 'get' unless you have experienced them yourself. I'm sure they love you though and would want you to talk to them.

    What did the teacher say when you spoke to them? In my area when I was young there was a local counselling place for young people where you could go free of charge - at least you'd be talking to someone about what you're going through.

    I really think a suitable teacher or parent might be a good bet though as they might have more access to finding a professional that can help you.

    Utilise your friends and the people around you for support and to get help.

    Good luck - you will get through this.

  • Please your young and you have your entire life in front of you, you will look back on this episode in your life and be so overwhelmed that your here to experience it !!, seek help there is confidential help out there ..dig deep confide in your parents , your there child and they would be devastated if anything happened to you... you will look back on this i promise you and be so happy to be where you are ..

  • Hi There,

    Firstly, ease off the issues causing you stress, this is the key thing. Stress is one of the big causes of depression and to tackle this you need to tackle the issues that cause stress and that takes time and practice. I know it's easy said than done but I've been there and felt how it is and this technique helped a lot.

    you seem bright to get above average grades and don't pressure yourself too much. Anything above a C is really good work and don't compare yourself to other pupil's grade expectations. you will only add unneeded stress to yourself. I wasn't bright like you as I only have 6 GCSE's but I was really happy with them and proud. with a C in maths I was over the moon but my father wasn't so too bad for him but not for me, as I was accepted in college. moral is that you can never please everyone especially parents so don't try too hard to impress them, as you'll be there forever trying and this will only raise their level of expectation from you adding more stress to yourself trying to meet that level.

    If you feel you can talk to your parents about what you are going through then please do you mean the world to them and i'm sure they won't be harsh. Otherwise if you have a aunt or uncle you trust then maybe talking to them first will help so they can gently tell your parents to avoid a backlash.

    With regards to school I feel it would be better that you either speak to an elder who can talk to your parents and your parents or an elder can accompany you to the school headteacher in case the school can help in some way to support you. The teachers need to understand what you are going through and their approach needs to be catered for you and your situation. if you ever get stuck with a question you are struggling with always talk to your subject teacher and I'm sure they will be willing to help you. if you want to do it yourself then take a step back, do something else and come back to it. sometimes we all need a break from something we do for some time and it's normal to do that and when we come back to it, that break helps to get things done.

    With regards to killing yourself think of your future, if you want to achieve something good in life then live with that aim in mind otherwise all that will go to waste. Also please think of your parents who will miss you dearly. Please give yourself courage to not go down this route. Unfortunately, I can't advise you on self harming but the best I can do is ask you to speak to your GP or call samaritans on 116 123 or childline on 0800 1111. both are free numbers. if you can call from your friend's house or from your home when your parents aren't there but I'm not sure if these are free from mobile.

    Don't give up on your future. You've just started a nice long enjoyable journey all the way to getting a job, and when you look back you will know you made the right choice not self harming and suicide. trust me, I've been there and can definitely say this as living proof.

    Here is my blog I've written on my time with depression. I hope if there is something here that might help you. blogerslotaboutdepression.b...

    Any time you need to talk more just give us all a shout here.

  • I can't ease off the stress because i have a Spanish speaking exam on the 1st of march, i have to memorize 5 paragraphs that are 75-100 words long then i have course work for 5 subjects due by July and to top that off in the last 72 hours iv'e had 7 hours sleep which is making revision harder.

  • Hi,

    7 hour sleep is good. You cannot suffer in silence, as you know there are no physical symptoms that someone can tell what you are going through so you need to speak to someone.

    Your school has a moral obligation to look after you and your mental health, as it can affect your studies. If your teachers have not recognised your symptoms then you need to speak to someone at your school.

    From my experience at school if you know that you are having problems getting coursework completed then you really do need to speak to your form tutor or maybe your deputy head teacher. if you have a subject teacher you feel comfortable speaking to about what you are going through then please speak to them and ask them to give you some sort of moral support in approaching your form tutor. there is no shame in asking for help and sooner or later you will need to talk to someone and it's best to do that now. There is a strong chance that they will speak to your parents but "don't hold back" because of this, as don't forget your parents love you and they will want to help you get better. If you feel your parents won't be understanding of what you are going through then you must tell your school so they can relay this gently to your parents who will understand why you didn't tell them and your parents shouldn't hold that against you.

    if you get in trouble for not doing your coursework in time then you will add more stress onto yourself, which you do not want.

    Just please try and be strong about this. talking to someone is the first "correct" step to take as you cannot suffer in silence any longer. Here, we can only advise you, taking that right step is something you have to be strong and do.

    Please let us know how you get on.

  • One of my friends have told my parents and they have booked my a doctors appointment later this week

  • I have just been reading down this thread and am so happy to read that something is being done. the doctor will listen and then refer you to someone who is skilled in this sort of thing. the important thing to do is to talk, talk, talk - it is very hard but please know that you aren't alone. I have just found out that my 16yr old son is self-harming and the one thing helping me right now is ready other people's experiences and finding out that it isn't as rare as I thought and that he and I aren't alone. I really hope you are on the path to help now - you won't think so but it WILL get better - not next week, or month but in time. If you ask for help you WILL get it.

  • Hello there. here is a virtual hug from me :) and a heart felt message to you: please don' harm yourself, you are smart and hard working and intelligent. even if you are experiencing depression and a low sense of self worth. but the fact is you are worthy of knowing that you matter. I know anxiety can seem to be a the boss of your life. but you can beat it. you can rise up and find enjoyment in your life. lets step out of that sad box for a minute and look carefully on how one simple thought pattern can alter the way you see life and see yourself as. i strongly suggest you get help and be patient at possible. one the biggest things you can do right know is to say outloud taht you matter. say that Jesus loves me. (i'm a christain :0) by the way but I'm not here to convert you but I know he loves you. and say out loud that you will overcome this feeling of suicaide because I was created to be loved and to love.

    Father I lift up this person who is suffering with mental and emotional pain. please come close to him and help him / her to choose to make the couragous desision in living a healthier lifestyle and give this person peace. send professional wise persons to support him/her.

    in Jesus name

    Amen.

  • Hi I have just read your blog and felt I needed to reply to you x

    Please please do not give up although things are really tough for you at the moment and very stressful things will get better for you. This is just a temporary feeling at the moment and im really glad you have spoken to your parents and going to the doctors, they are all there for you to support you along with all of us xxx

    I have been through times of depression and I know how it feels, but once you get the exams out of the way you will feel so much better .

    Please remember that although exams are important they are not the 'be all and end all' in life., they are just the beginning of a wonderful life you are going to have and I have a daughter of 17 yrs and I tell her this all the time.

    Please can you let us know how you are getting on and stay strong xxxxxxxxx

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