Empty. Need help!

[2273]

from the moment I wake up, I feel panicked. I feel like I'm running out of time. I feel bored & restless. I feel like I can't breath and there's a huge tight, lump in my chest. I think about other people's lives and want to be someone else. I feel like everyone around me doesn't like me and prefer others. I try too hard. I wonder if my life will ever be normal and if anyone will ever love and accept me for who I am.i have moods wings, I feel angry and I don't want to. I say things I don't mean and don't want to say. I'm always hopeful about situations but at the same time I'm a pessimist. I constantly compare myself to others and try to change the way I look and act to try to please others. I strive acceptance and attention 24/7. I feel jealous of other people and I want inclusion. I feel nervous, flush of heat to my face, my heart starts pounding when I try to talk to people. I feel like a freak, like nobody wants me around. Insignificant, worthless, boring, waste of space. I have times where I'm confident and content in my life and who I am but anything can break that, any little thing. I feel like I never live in the moment, I'm constantly waiting, searching, for something more, for a meaning. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I think I want things but then I lack interest in doing anything. I don't want to be disappointed but that's always how I feel. I'm waiting for something every second, I don't know what but it's not coming. I'm afraid of what my life holds ahead. I don't know what I want, in any sense. I think I just want happiness, constant attention and a lot of people around me....but I think this is just so I don't have time to think to myself. The most intense feeling is attention. This sounds very bad but I just crave it from everyone. I feel like I need attention from everyone and feel bad when I don't get it. What is wrong with me? I think too much and over analyse everything. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I've wondered about depression but I don't want to use that word too freely. Every time I come home, i constantly just want to bury myself in my room and not go out. I think all I need is being around my friends but that makes me feel worse. I love them but they're lives are just too good and worked out. I'm jealous and I hate myself for that. I look forward to the next day and plan it out. I don't want to tell others, due to fear of being called dramatic and told my feelings aren't real and I need to just get on with it. I think they will laugh. I can't just forget about it, these feelings are too constant and overwhelming. I feel like I need others to complete me and I will never be enough for myself. I need and want help, answers to my problem. I really don't know what to do. Im not even saying everything I feel here but I have too much of them. I'm only 16, I shouldn't lack passion for life. I need help, answers.

[ilovepuppies]

Hello, sweetheart.

It sounds to me that you have a lot of stress and anxiety in your life. 16 is a really difficult age- not a child, but not quite an adult yet! Stresses at home, school/college/job can seem overwhelming at times, we have all been there and felt the way that you do. I can remember at 16 being asked "what are you going to do with your life? What do you want to be?" when in reality, I was still adjusting to being a member of the adult world and simply didn't know!!

I would suggest you speak to someone about how you're feeling. If in school/college go and see your student learning mentor or councillor, if not make an appointment with your GP. Don't be embarrassed, they are specially trained to help you with your anxieties and feelings, and you certainly won't be the first (or last!) young person that they have helped. There is a special therapy called cognitive therapy that gives you coping strategies when you feel an anxiety attack coming on. You'll meet young adults like yourself who are feeling exactly the same way so you'll know you're not alone. In the meantime, when you feel your anxiety is overwhelming, sit down, close your eyes and take deep, cleansing breaths. Remember that this is just a tiny stage of your life. Things will get better and seem brighter. You will find your path, and things will work out. Believe me, they always do. x

[shazlou]

It sounds like your very anixious and stresses about everything you overthink cause your anixious the constant graving attention sounds very much like your confidence and self esteam is rock bottom get some helf via your gp or child line on 0800 1111 anger and mood swing are very common at around your age but pls get some help wiv the other issues u have took the first step posting here take the nxt step by talking to someone who can realky help u gud luck hunny