Could you help me to understand?

I have a bit of an odd situation with my mental health that I don't quite understand and I'm hoping a kind person may be able to offer an answer. In the past I have suffered from depression and anxiety, I no longer have to take medication for this and have successfully completed CBT. I love my family, friends and in these areas I am emotionally happy/healthy but when it comes to women and relationships I seem to be blocked. I have this very odd and paradoxical situation where I can care for the person very much but I'm also aware that I could just as easily walk away and not be particularly upset. I used to also write a lot of poetry, even been published a few times but I can't write anymore because I don't seem to have access to the emotions I need. Has anyone else experienced this or have any ideas about why this is happening and what I can do. Many thanks in advance and I hope you are having a good new year :)

1 Reply

  • it is good that you have overcome the depression, just appreciate it decently mate.

    Yes, I also asking question like that, there is somewhat a contradictory behavior rather than psyche forces acting to ourself.

    I just recently trying to observes my mind very closely, as you just say, I read psychoanalytic a little, I see it like a defense mechanism (reaction formation or something), but I think it isn't really quite like that.

    I still suspect that maybe it just decepetion we make to ourselves because we just become too 'tired?' to maintain the energy allocation conciously otherwise?! or we just still confuse world with somehow our world model? for maybe a very simple example is like this: I really really love my family, but sometimes I just don't know why sometimes without any conciousness, feel that something bad will happen to them?.

    Is it really my wish or my fear about something bad that will happen to them? to get the real meaning of our mental situation (not just sometimes) really hard, especially if we assess our conscience based on weird voice like that and we feel guilty of our unguiltiness.

    It seems simple, but I think it is a complex one, this is a somewhat metaphysical fact that I still don't know my way around to understand. if I analysed it too much I won't be a sane human but it is still unbearable, in our search of truth like this what turns out not just to confirm a simple truth value of simple problem, but it is an ethical-epistemological one which is enormously hard(at least for me).

    I used to think and analyse some external situation good enough eventhough if I made any prediction(somewhat it fail almost all the time :D), but I don't think there is even any clear certainity in world, logic only visualize the tiniest fracture of reality between limit of extreme (certainty and impossibility).

    What remains in between still very scary to me, it feels like there is a ghost inside myself that always tell lie, conceal and distract me from understanding something.

    Maybe we just must simply hush it, it is just a mistake, no need to overcomplicating it bla bla.

    This is just my thought, I don't think I have helped you at all.

    I too have a blockade, this is maybe bad side of curing depression hha..

    you maybe need a new intake, experience or whatever because your struggle is over..

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