e.g.the other day i was so absorbed! a guy said " savage" i thought he was talking about what i was up to, he wasnt - e was on about something that was going on in front of us.
i fail to follow basic instyructions.
sometimes not.
i have developed an ocd world outside the world dppl livein! so if some person says something i disagree with - the only way to get out of what they said - is ocd . if they continue saying shit i dont like - i dislike them - get angry - tell them where to go! or easier get angry with me! but still am angry with them.
it's like a game.
have panic attacks
avoid a lot of stuff due to ocd!
love mr sonnyismyidentity, thanks
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You have fallen into the trap of self diagnosing. OCD is not about anger and hatred. It sounds like you have issues that are far deeper than OCD.
You might be withdrawing into yourself and be entirely focused on anger or irritable thoughts based upon the encounter you've just had but this is not what OCD does.
You need to go and see your doctor and talk to them, they will be able to help you out of this.
i think you are correct! but there are a LOT of details i have missed! the root issue goes far past ocd, and i see this. but my therapist did diagnose me with ocd, but they also believe this is a symptom of something greater (deeper)
What kind of therapist are you seeing? A psychiatrist, psychiatric nurse or a counsellor?
all of the above and a psychoanalyst, it didnt work. they were trying to make interpretations about the cause and me instead of telling them the story i tod them parts that made me sound not as bad as the stor. i told them what i predicted they wanted to hear - it didnt work at all. i dont want to be percieved negatively by people :/
sounds silly when you say it like that. i am not proud of it mate, in fact i find it very difficult to tell strangers about my mad experiences. so yeah i told them a diluted version of the real thing - i played it "safe"..but when i try telling them i get energetic and anxious.
The correct understanding and, more importantly, the correct treatment depends 100% on you telling the truth.
A watered down version will give those who are trying to help you an incorrect picture and therefore, more dangerously too, an incorrect treatment plan for you.
Imagine how angry you currently get with someone at the moment. This could be all put to one side and hardly ever occur again - if you told everything.
To get the help you need to bo 100% honest with those trying to help you.
Some of your problems seem to be communication related, you get angry because you misunderstand or are misunderstood. Well nothing unatural in that, people who arent dyslexic get angry when they are misunderstood.
I'm not saying you don't have other problems but often dyslexics get miss diagnosed, as being depressives or stupid because our brains are wired differently and require a different approach. You need to learn ways round things, be aware of triggers.
I didnt draw from your explanation you are a negative person more a frustrated person.
Anyway worth talking it over with you councellors, it may solve some but not all your problems.
Also please don't think dyslexia is about reading it isn't a large part is interpretation. So for example you may struggle with 'O' level maths but find higher maths simple because it's about patterns, we merely process information differently.
It is both our strength and our weakness, dyslexia covers a whole range of problems and each dyslexic person is different. I can cover co-ordination, ability to decern right from left, you can find numbers difficult and or reading, you can struggle to understand something relatively simple, miss words out of speech or writing, find it hard to remember (we have poor short term memories, names, spellings etc), concentration can be poor, but on the whole dyslexics are highly intelligent people.
i have thought about this - but my ex gf labeled me ADD and really i got a bit upset by this! i tried to match my symptoms with this! they didnt completely match though. dyslexia i've considered but i thought spelling was a main isssue with this label - so i stopped in the path of looking at that. you maybe correct - but i'm a believer of labeling is enabling - so i am trying to fight any label that could exist with me - maybe in any means possible - ocd! apologies - yhis reply took a de-tour.
i am very compelled by your reply and am very happy you took the time to read this - many thanks
Really the understanding amongst the well informed is dyslexics are highly intelligent lateral thinkers. Also I use the term 'Dyslexia' to cover all of them because of course there is Dycalcula (Numbers) Dyspraxia ( co-ordination problems).
The things is which ever you choose, I choose Dyslexia because it symptoms are my predominant ones, I also have the other two in varying degrees. So I struggle with phone numbers, I cant say a phone number backwards, I have trouble with for example with Algebra. Dycalcula kicks in when Im on my period and tired so I bump into things become clumsy, have trouble judging distances etc.
Add to this that my symptoms are mild, there others with severe symptoms we are ALL different.
I don't believe its about labeling yourself as much as allowing for the fact that you are wired differently.
So if I mess up my spellings, miss words out of sentances, miss read something, get lost in the car, drop a vase, I could call myself stupid, i could blame myself but I know its because Im dyslexic and that's okay. It would be like me running with one leg tied half way up my back.
You don't have to call yourself dyslexic to anyone but if you once find you are you can find other ways of doing things that help you AND in your own mind you can find forgiveness when you f*ck up because honestly for somethings it really isn't your fault it's just how you are built.
Can I say one more thing being dyslexic in any form doesnt make you better or WORSE than other people. Sometimes my dyslexia is a problem solving gift, I see things another way, i can find another route. Sometimes its a huge handicap if I cant judge a distance etc.
I really think you should explore this because it may in some measure bring you peace of mind. Can I also say dyslexia has nothing to do with ADD or OCD, they are something else completely.
We do struggle with attention but merely because we have a poor short term memory reserve. However if that learning is put in the long term memory we are fine.
Sometimes it would be easier for me if I was what society calls 'normal', I maybe wouldnt make so many mistakes, but it feeds my creativity, it allows me to think outside the box. Everything has its plusses and minuses.
I wish you all the best and really hope you find something that works for you. If you become one of the dyslexic gang, there are software programmes, systems of learning and methods of coping that can help, we merely have to do things differently.
I really wish you the very best, you deserve the best life can offer you.
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Am I a monster? What am I? 
I don't want to exist
Totaly lost without her
Introduction I suppose
Am I really a monster?
