One can deduce that life's ultimate purpose is to gain and spread information. Ok I just answered the title of the post. However, let's dive just a bit further.
I can't seem to find a true passion or desire. No, I am not depressed, and yes, I do spend a lot of thought pondering on what can be done. I am somewhat limited on my day to day activities because I am responsible for the care of a quadriplegic whom is my girlfriend. I knew her before the car accident (of which was caused by someone else who gives no remorse for her actions). The thought of fixing her is so challenging it seems highly exciting. But gaining the lab equipment to conduct experiments starts out at 5 grand and reaches to the millions of dollars. Being only 22 the money is not easily acquired. Pursuing college to get access to the lab and research team is a decade of effort, and I have already lowered my GPA to a point no institution will take me seriously. This is not because of slow learning or lack of intelligence; it is because I have no interest in frivolous classes like american history and other things grade school has already forced me to cover.
So, the predicament remains: what can I do that is interesting or that carries some importance? I'm certain the Christopher Reeve Foundation will start producing spinal stimulators before I get the chance to create something myself. What is there that I can create? I like music. I like writing. I like plants. I like drugs. I like a lot of things. But none of them passionately. This inability to find any sort of passion or true point to anything bothers me, and it is one of the two things I can't wrap my brain around. The other being how one can escape duality. Any thoughts or questions are welcomed.