I have overcome the part where the doctor told me that I would be a "vegetable" all my mental illness life. Now I have been Recovering well, have a seasonal job, actively volunteering in my dream career and got a business diploma while "sick", got a certificate from a university that I want to return to.....basically I have come from the dead. I did this all by myself. I honesty don't mean to brag. Yet I know that I got sick for many reasons but I have a second chance now to pursue my dream career and my dream guy. But. I AM SCARED. I have to do this on my own?!! My parents told me that this is up to me. Yet I see my father near his death that I can't see straight. I am losing it. I have a lot on my plate. I have also learning disabilities, and traumas but I don't look at my age as a barrier. I have my narcissistic mother and sisters who hates my talent in arts as a threat and jealousy that I believe that they got me sick!! I hear how they only approve of this because my sister's daughter wants to do this too. She is a child!! I heard my mother TOLD me down like "give up the arts". She doesn't understand. Relative boyfriend is a musician that I heard my family put down him!! Its all this competition. I know you say how could I have done this to MYSELF especially I am the oldest. Because there was a fight, they called the police for help since I started a fight where they had a guy over the house and they were all flirting badly which I was upset about. This started the fight. At least the police say this as small, they sent me to the hospital for a break from the house. This is a start where my parents supported them because I had drop out of college. I guess I see. IF they did this to me, why would I want their support!!! I am being brainwashed!!! But. I guess I have to slowly build my own confident and independent................Yet a black sheep of the family. Does anyone understand? Help.
Small.
