i don't know who to turn to, i normally don't trust people or open up to people. when i was younger lot of people took advantage of me in so many ways. and i never saw anything wrong with it because i craved the love. i loved the affection then my dad left and he was my role model i looked up to him and he got up and left us. after that finding love became so hard its like i forced myself not to believe in it but i wanted it find someone who would genuinely love me. and then boy after boy they hurt me. left me for someone else. obviously that alone messed up my confidence made me feel as though i would never be good enough for anyone. so i closed my heart well tried until i met this amazing guy, who made me open up in ways i never have before made me so happy and he said he loved me and what not. he was willing to try make us work, then one day it was to much for him i guess. he couldn't do it he apologized and said in time when he was ready in the future he would come find me. it destroyed me its messed me up and since then ive lost myself, i thought it was jut the heart break of it. but ive really lost myself i cant eat or sleep and i don't have control over how i feel, i started to overdose in anyway possible hopping i would just go. it hurt and it wasn't the heart break it was my whole past coming back to me and its damaging me in ways i cant explain i have no control in what i done minute i am trying to be positive the next my world comes crumpling down i cant stop crying i cut myself to the blood flows so much i think its my tears. i don't know what to do i need help because i cant hold on for much longer
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