Hello, this is my first post. Do I have depression? I feel there is no hope in the world, i'm worthless, nothing, just a pawn in a game, a material to be used abused and thrown aside without mercy. I recently went to a counseller who told me I had anxiety and wanted to see me again as soon as possible. My friends are abandoning me, I can't get motivated, I can't sleep (I'm typing this post at 6 am), i've gained almost two stone and I feel like i'm going crazy. Sometimes I wonder how much better everything would be if I didn't exist, to escape this hell. I cant stop thinking about anything and everything, my future, my parents, my friends, my education and what will happen if i make that one tiny mistake that destroys my life completely. My mum always fights with her boyfriends, my dad left me when I was ten (leaving us with nothing to our name, just ran away). Sometimes I feel ultra motivated, but it dies down within a few hours. Can someone please help me and answer my question? I just want to be happy. Im a 17 year old female college student.