Help

[courteous-harrier-21]

Somebody please help me.. I'm losing it.. My depression has got to the point where I feel like leaving my girlfriend I don't want too I don't know why i think I love her I'm do scared I want to die please help me somebody

[squirrel2]

You need to not make any important decisions right now. Your mind is all over the place. I believe deep down you know you love your girl. Continue taking your meds. If you are getting worse or not better talk with your doc. Thats what they get the big bucks for. Dont do anything to harm yourself. In the end it hurts the ones left behind more than you. Contact crisis center , 911 if you feel its that serious. When i am depressed i have to keep reminding myself all that i shared with you. Your not alone. Hang tight. Talk with me if you want.

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to squirrel2]

Thank you, I'm sitting here now worrying about everything I feel so odd and weird do I break up with? I don't want to, but keep coming up with different reasons and making myself depressed... I'm so scared i can't sleep I keep getting angry and losing the plot... She is my first love but she just feels right.. I feel I want her forever but keep questioning things... I want to die badly.. I feel weird as ever will I ever feel how I did a week ago again?

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to squirrel2]

Also I don't take my medication.

[loggerslot]

tell your girlfriend what you are going through. tell her you need her support. other than family she's the closest you can rely on. depression is a rough ride but you will both come out stronger. call salvation army for support 0207 367 4500 or see your GP. i strongly advise you to take medication. i was told to take it but i didn't want it but i ended up taking them for a few months when depression got severe. come here if you need to talk to us all. we are all here to help you as we all understand what you are going through.

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to loggerslot]

Great, I've just found out I was both in love and infatuated with her... :/ I feel like crap because of this how can I get it off my mind and start over, on the road to 'love' again. While beating depression? Just so scared :/'

[squirrel2 in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

I met my husband while drinking and using drugs. We got married in love and infatuated. As time went on the love became stronger than just wanting sex. But after 28 years i didnt think i loved him any more. I left to be with another guy. He eventually emotionally abused me and raped me 3 time. He said it was because he loved me. I finally had enough after 2 years. The only way to leave was for my husband to drive 200 miles, in middle of night to get me. He still loved me. After a deep depression i am coming out of it after 2 years. I learned and saw that love is listening without trying to fix, wanting the best for the one you love, cant wait to share your life with. Dont make any big decisions while down. Talk with someone face to face. Get on drugs. Once things are better you can decide if you want to continue meds. Even after 32 years of knowing my husband I am still learning who he is. I want to know him more. To me that is love.

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to squirrel2]

Well I want to do so many things with her... Also I in the past have been very selfish and not wanted the best for her but now I did because I want to love her... She is amazingly perfect... I just don't feel it now because of stuff... Do you think we could be the same we was when infatuated but in love? And I keep saying I'm not going too rather than letting it happen..

[squirrel2 in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

If you are asking if the sex is the same....no its better. Loving is more intimate. Its sharing a moment in 'heaven' with someone you love. Its not about her boobs or butt or whatever. Its about wanting to give a special part of you with only her. It changes but its how you go about it that matters. Keep some romance (ladies need that). Date her etc etc. Find out what pleases her, in and out of bedroom. Get to know her more intimately. Ok. I am done preaching. Above is what i need and how i see it. Hope it helps.

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to squirrel2]

Not intamitely I mean in genreal?

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to squirrel2]

Not intamitely I mean in genreal?

[loggerslot in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

you need to take things slowly and don't be scared. what i feel you are doing is trying to juggle too many balls at once. take it step at a time. at the moment your key goal is dealing with your depression and for that you need the right support. consult your GP and try to see a counsellor, maybe private (counselling-directory.org.uk) or on the NHS (there is a waiting list so check in your area). people sometimes see unexplainable changes in behaviour as a bad thing as they don't know how to deal with it or what caused it. if this is the case with your girlfriend then it would be best to tell her and say you need her support than be withdrawn from you. family is always a good anchor of support so don't feel that you need to deal with this alone. if it helps, print out some guides for them on how they can best support you so they know what to do. sometimes people freak out and end up unsure what to do with depression. here is a link psychcentral.com/blog/archi...

don't forget whether its girlfriend or family love is always unconditional and don't expect anything from love. there's more to love than just a physical attraction and as time goes by you will see the bigger picture of that emotion and the bond will grow stronger.

take it easy.

[squirrel2]

You know we all change every day. Circumstances change us. How we think and perceive the stuff changes a person. If you love here, show her. It will be diffetent but it can be so much better as you both grow together.

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to squirrel2]

Okay good thank you for your help I will get through this both us and be happy also may I ask how old you are? Sorry haha

[squirrel2 in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

I am 51 in years but 5 in rest of life at least thats how it feels. I am in USA. Where are you from?

[Sidney1plumber]

I am also suffering with both depression & anxiety & there are days when I feel I could just walk away from my hubby & my kids,& yes most of the time want to kill myself,but as hard as it seems coping every day with this awful illness l drag myself out of bed every day soaked to the skin with sweat still hating my kids because all they ever do is fight & kick the hell out of each other,but all l can do is tell myself life can only get better.l dread being by my self every day & have'nt got anyone l can confide in its just not a nice place to be.anyway today l did something positive & found myself a private therapist & don't care if it skints me,l just want help to get through this & l know l can't do this anymore by myself & suggest you do the same, l have my first session Monday tea time l can let you know how l get on if you like.

[squirrel2 in reply to Sidney1plumber]

Sidney, you can always talk here. I dont have the answers but i can share from my life. Way to go on getting an appt. Hoot Hoot. Try a journal and record this. When you have a tough time you can go back and remind yourself that you can do this one moment at a time.

[Sidney1plumber in reply to squirrel2]

Thank you so that means an awful lot,l'm struggling as l write to you,my hubby is off on an overnight trip with my son & l feel sick with dread of him not being there.l have been holding a job down in special needs since February,& all the time l'm hiding my feelings wishing there was someone there that l could confide in.my hubby just gets angry & says he just does'nt understand what is going on in my head.having you to talk to would be so nice.

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to Sidney1plumber]

Yeah okay, and could you? I want to see how therapists work... Because they said I don't need consulleing but now look, also me and girlfriend are just arguing but she's so awesome!

[Sidney1plumber in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

I'm struggling at the minute but l promise you l will let you know how my session goes on Monday.

[Sidney1plumber in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

Therapist was brilliant,take a look on his site,his name is nick wilson(iamatherapist.co.uk)don't think there is anything he does'nt know.he made me feel that there is light at the end of that very dark tunnel.l will give you further feed back if you like, will be seeing him every Monday teatime.regards Sidney.

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to Sidney1plumber]

What kinda thimgs did you tell him? And where is he based?

[Sidney1plumber in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

We went back to my childhood.he's based in whitby North Yorkshire England.he's really good,made me feel at ease,regards sidney

[courteous-harrier-21 in reply to Sidney1plumber]

Ah I live in Birmingham :/ they're all crap here... How much does he charge?

[Sidney1plumber in reply to courteous-harrier-21]

£40 for first assessment,then each session after £30

[courteous-harrier-21]

So guys, my girlfriend almost just broke up with me saying it will never be the same... I still sorta see it? But I want her in my life she has opened my eyes to me truly needing help... So I am going to get it... I know she is my first love but she's just so special and I feel I've my 1 in 7billion... So wish me luck as I carry on!

[courteous-harrier-21]

So guys, my girlfriend almost just broke up with me saying it will never be the same... I still sorta see it? But I want her in my life she has opened my eyes to me truly needing help... So I am going to get it... I know she is my first love but she's just so special and I feel I've my 1 in 7billion... So wish me luck as I carry on!