I've been depressed for decades. I've come "out" of it to a state where I'm trying to get help, but I've been suicidal recently. Suicidal to a state where I can recognise I am suicidal and prevent myself actually doing anything. My doctor suspects Bi-Polar, but I'm 'still' waiting for referral to the professionals. In the meantime I've become suicidal to the state where I went to A&E, and they more-or-less told me to go away and stop bothering them (paraphrasing), because I actually hadn't attempt to kill myself. So, I'm left to, next time I'm that low, to actually attempt to kill myself. The NHS really doesn't seem to care that I can recognise my problem, try and ask for help, until I actually do something and either die trying or survive and the physical issue. My Sub-concious protection, such as getting out of the way of moving cars, is slowly shutting down, is that good enough? By the time they get round the me, there may just be a gravestone, but there will be the message of "I did ask for help".