Trying to get mental help from the NHS is rubbish

I've been depressed for decades. I've come "out" of it to a state where I'm trying to get help, but I've been suicidal recently. Suicidal to a state where I can recognise I am suicidal and prevent myself actually doing anything. My doctor suspects Bi-Polar, but I'm 'still' waiting for referral to the professionals. In the meantime I've become suicidal to the state where I went to A&E, and they more-or-less told me to go away and stop bothering them (paraphrasing), because I actually hadn't attempt to kill myself. So, I'm left to, next time I'm that low, to actually attempt to kill myself. The NHS really doesn't seem to care that I can recognise my problem, try and ask for help, until I actually do something and either die trying or survive and the physical issue. My Sub-concious protection, such as getting out of the way of moving cars, is slowly shutting down, is that good enough? By the time they get round the me, there may just be a gravestone, but there will be the message of "I did ask for help".

7 Replies

  • Hi there

    I know we are not taken seriously. I went to A&E at my worst. Luckily one nurse there was a mental health nurse who told me my antidepressants weren't strong enough and to go tell my doctor that. When I did he said" I will not be told what medication to prescribe by a nurse!" So that was that. A friend told me to go to the nearest mental hospital and tell them you cannot cope anymore with suicidal thoughts and need help. I haven't done that myself, but keep that in my head as a last straw. Hope you can keep a lid on it , keep in touch. X

  • I don't know what NHS or an A&E are with my being from the United States but I do know about feeling suicidal a great deal of the time and that yes it follows me wherever I go like a shadow. I really hope you can hang in there and that you can get the help you need. It is sad that no one really listens or takes you seriously until you actually have tried to commit suicide, I know cause I've been there and done that. Hopefully you will eventually find someone who will take you seriously. I wish you well.

  • NHS = National Health Service (though I have a friend who says this should be the National Illness Service because focus is on treating illness rather than promoting health - which was the original intention when it was set up in late 1940s). A&E is Accident and Emergency - guess it is the equivalent of your ER

  • It's been bubbling over my head over the weekend. Hit another low yesterday. Nearly went again. What's the point? The other phrase he used "Quick Fix" like he's talking to an idiot. I've been depressed for decades. Like I know there's no quick fix, no magic pill that'll fix me. I just want some help to start with. They won't even let me on the first rung of the ladder when I ask for help. "Go to your GP". My GP suspects Bi-Polar, but the specialists have de-prioritised me. So, I hit a new low next time, big deal, another number they don't have to deal with. Multiple members of my family on both sides have mental issues, members have killed themselves over it. But no one really cares. I don't even get the chance to tell the specialists this, just my GP, who isn't even a mental specialist. I was asked by my GP if it would hurt others if I kill myself, trying to guilt me. Very selfish of me to kill myself? After all this time of asking for help, it's very selfish of them to not help me now isn't it? I don't care about my life. My soul will live on into the next life, into the universe anyway.

  • Megumu,

    do you have a friend or family member that could go with you when you go to the doctor?

    Sometimes it is easy to react to particular words and phrases without hearing the whole message. That's not saying that some of the language used hasn't been insensitve but if someone else is there helping you to do the listening they may be able to challenge the insensitivy and get beyond it to the real messages ...

    I'm not saying that I have much faith in the NHS in this country when it comes to treating depression - also suffered for decades - I think the will is there more often than not but the ability to really do anything is very constrained - time, money and actually understanding, particularly as it varies so much from person to person.

  • Only family member left is severely depressed. Barely any friends, but they're too busy, I feel like I'm imposing. I don't know if I am. I've been depressed so long I don't know how to relate to people properly. I was depressed at the time when I was supposed to be learning this, but it's too late now. Even it the depression magically goes away, I won't know how to function in the world.

  • Sorry to hear about family member and small number of friends. Even though it feels like you are imposing it may be worth asking - most people do want to help.

    Developing friendships is something that it really never is too late for.

    You could also look for another GP - though I know that sounds really hard and probably doesn't feel like it would change anything.

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