Another month summary: So I've been getting... - Above & Beyond

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Another month summary

John79962 profile image
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So I've been getting along okay recently but, it kinda creeps up on you and I thought I should post on here before it does.

I've been getting my student finance set up which has been rather exhausting as I don't have a valid passport but that is almost done, I've got a load of things to move to my new laptop, so my brother can have my old one. I should also become a part time carer soon also which should be interesting however as much as these things might stress me out a little my main concern at the moment is with my current workings on my course ICT for A level. I've been managing okay so far but it doesn't take allot to throw me off into a spiral of panic and worry. But with my last unit being based around a program (Or package) that I have had little experience with and have it all done by Easter is a little bit more than that. I'm under the influence that my as grade will be piled on top of this years work to get my final grade but as the unit I'm doing is a mystery (Even to my ICT teacher in some places) makes me a little concerned. I need C's in two subjects this year to get to uni, but that doesn't stop me from worrying about it all.

I'm officially starting this unit tomorrow, though I've done a little towards it already, I still cant help but worry a little about the outcome especially as my teacher wont be in tomorrow for the 4 hour lesson.

Everything else is going alright, I'm trying my best to balance my social life out a bit but with this other stress its becoming a little more difficult. I'm also still helping out with music at my school, its still a little weird being called sir but I think thats kinda helping to keep me sane for now. at least until I have to properly start revising

Anyways thats this months update on my life recently, I always feel a little guilty not really posting to other people to try and help and support, but I don't know what to say... well at least hopefully if I post on here once or twice a month people don't get sick of me I guess.

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John79962 profile image
John79962
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6 Replies
Gambit62 profile image
Gambit62

Good to hear that you are managing to keep things together.

Having the thought that you might not get the grades you need/want is understandable but its not a thought that you need to dwell on. Certainly sounds as if you are working through things very sensibly and that counts for a lot.

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to Gambit62

Thanks, I am and will hopefully continue to try my best :)

vastopensky profile image
vastopensky

John, you needn't worry about people getting fed up of you, we are all here to listen and share as we feel we need to. I think your worries about your grades and the work are totally understandable... everyone is confronted with these kinds of uncertainties in life, try to enjoy the course and focus on the activity rather than over focusing on the out come of the grades. Enjoy participating in the the modules you're doing and that you are interested in them rather than anything else... this shear enjoyment will give you motivation, positive feelings and keep you able to work rather than letting the worries take over. Towards the end of a course, any course people start to think about grades much more and people start to talk about this a lot which ramps up the pressure... this is just part of the nature of things beginning to draw to a close... try not to think about it. Use your strengths of taking things a day or moment at a time to enjoy every moment of the course right to the very last second, enjoyment will enhance your performance too because it's scientifically proven that when we relax we think more productively. Don't forget your usual skills for dealing with stress... make time for them... do you use exercise, or mindfulness or something similar? I'm sure that the music stuff is helping too, perhaps if music's your thing you could give yourself some time just for that may be an hour or so either before or after some programming work just to give you something to enjoy and change the tone of your mood slightly if the worry is holding you back from enjoying life. These are just Ideas so feel free to dump them if they don't make sense. Be kind to your self, develop ways to work with your limits ... we all have them it's part of being human. :) Take care. K

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to vastopensky

I always get worked up near the end of courses, I was the same last year too, but I think I'm handling it a little better than before. I do try to put time aside for things that I enjoy, like my music, but I cant say I do all that much exercise. I think you're right that taking small steps at a time is probably the best thing I can do at this moment. Thanks for commenting :)

wallflower_fairy profile image
wallflower_fairy

Hi :)

I was just thinking about you, wondering what you had been up to. Well it sounds like your managing well in spite of that self doubt, you're doing you're best, so don't be hard on yourself. :)

You can't control your situation, but you can control how you're dealing with it which I think is what you're trying to do, so be proud of yourself John. :) You've talked through all your thoughts on here too which counts so I hope that's helped to settle your thoughts and you feel a bit better for it.

I can certainly understand your anxieties, no doubt about that. It's a feeling like the grades you get are going to impact the entire course of your life and at this point in time, it all hangs in the balance - and you only have one chance so therefore feel you can't afford f*** it up. I'm not saying this is how you DO feel, just that you could be feeling this way and that's how I felt. It's so easy for anyone on the outside to say not to worry about it and the anxiety will only make it worse, but that's easier said than done.

I bared this in mind and I still didn't get the grades I needed for my first choice uni (because of other factors out of my control) - but the important thing I want to share is this: I survived it. And whatever happens in terms of your grades in a few months time John, you will survive it. Things may not turn out at all how you planned or intended them to but you will work out and work through it.

It's also easy for people to say that there's more important things in life than exam results when they themselves haven't put their blood sweat and tears into it and can't relate to how disappointing it is when they don't reach their potential, not through lack of trying, and it isn't something personal to them, that's going to remain. Not only that, but the advice like fails to correspond with what you have to hear everyday, in the media, politicians, teachers etc.

People's advice is well intended, but it is sometimes misplaced. But I hope you consider this from my perspective, a fellow student. :)

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you mate, that you'll get them, but if you don't, remember this: it can't ruin your life, not if you don't let it, yes, it can alter your life but not ruin it as life is a resilient thing and you never know what opportunities are around the corner. :) You are still young and have all your life ahead of you. Your grades don't define you as a person. Don't forget to tell yourself that ones results may not always be a true reflection of their ability either.

And last thing I want to wish you John is, Good luck. :) I welcome ramblings about all things philosophical any time.

Oh just one more thing a bit off topic, I see you've posted this on Journeys and not Action on Depression, there are 2 different forums even though the layout is the same. It's not really a big deal post on either one just bare in mind you may not get your usual crowd of people reading or responding.

((((((HUGS))))))

Fay :) xxxx

John79962 profile image
John79962 in reply to wallflower_fairy

Heya,

Thanks :), I'm trying my best but sometimes it can get a bit much, I am handling it better than last year though I think. I do kinda feel like this is the turning point in my life and if I screw it up I don't know what I'm gonna do so your pretty spot on. I'm sure my life wont end if I don't get in, but until that point I don't think I really know what else I'll do.

Some people are better than exams than others, which kinda doesn't really help when they use that to judge everyone. I always thought it was a little silly, just like how they base grade boundaries around the overall results meaning that no matter how well you did if enough people did the same you'd still get a C (Just how the system works sadly).

Thanks for commenting, and I'll probably have some philosophical ramblings soon if I'm able.. I had allot of set work this last week. I hope you are doing well for yourself also, its good to hear from you :)

I didn't realize which one I posted on this time, I'll keep that in mind, thanks again. :)

((((((HUGS))))))

John xxxx

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