How do I tell my parents?

I've been feeling down for over a year now and only recently discovered that it could be depression. I want to talk to my parents but I don't feel like I trust them enough and there is no one else. I think that they will not take it seriously and will just brush it off even if I stress to them how bad it becoming.

How do I tell them and get them to take it seriously?

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  • As a parent I'll tell you if you are at home they probably already suspect. Please understand even though we appear older we too once went through the entire gambit of emotions that young folks are feeling today. Either we have dealt with ourselves or have friends that have. Please talk to us, We love you more than life itself. It would make our day to know you trusted us enough to bring this to us for help. Trust me

    Good Luck, Peace

    Michael

  • Hi, in my experience telling your parents might well be part of a continual process rather than a one off event... for me telling my parents took years, they did brush it off and deny it at first because they loved me so much they didn't want it to be happening to me and because it was too painful for them to face. Families are funny places and not always the most comfortable of places to be... they are not always the best place to get support from either. But this should not put you off from trying... it might be wise to choose a time when your parents are relaxed and have time to listen to you... then perhaps talk about the things that you've noticed about your symptoms how long they've been going on for and how you've investigated them e.g. asking for advice here and going to see the G.P. tell them your concerns about it getting worse. See how things go. Remember if your parents are part of the reason you're depression has started they might be the wrong people to seek help from. If this is the case try your local Mind charity or mental health rethink or phone the samaritians and try to make a few friends. Telling your parents can be a really big thing particularly if it goes wrong so do some planning and try to find someone who you can talk to about how things are going and who'll support you if your parent's reaction is something that is negative for you. I'd also advise you to give your parents time to respond... they might be shocked and dismissive at first but over time you might find that they are more receptive and slowly it might dawn on them that you're really having a hard time with these symptoms and that they could help by being supportive.

    You might even be able to suggest a few ways that they could be supportive towards you.

    I hope this helps you think about the things surrounding this before taking the keep of telling your parents... do tell them I'd really encourage you to take the risk to do this if they've been loving and supportive in the past... taking this step can be a real test of a relationship and sometimes even if it doesn't work out initially it might work out in the end. (It took me 20 years to get through to my parents and start to build on our relationship... we had lots of rows about how I was in the interim... so hold on in there if you can and surround yourself with people who are supportive. Others I know have told their parents straight ways and they've been lovely about it straight away and things have gone well. All parents are different individuals you are the expert but remember your parents might have experiences that they've not shared with you that might throw a different light on how they're approaching/reacting to what you tell them.)

    I hope when you do decide to go for it, your calm and know what you want to say and that the right opportunity presents itself... I'll be thinking of you. :) K

  • Thank you for your advice. I've decided to try and explain it in a letter since I'm not very good at explaining things in person. Again, thank you so much for your advice.

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