i need help

[xoeve]

When i was around 14 i had a lot of family problems and problems with severe bullying at school about how i look. ive never had a boyfriend or any self confidence at all. i basically just hate myself, i cover up my mirrors usually so that i cant see. im 18 years old now and about a year ago i was in a huge rut, kept getting rejected from jobs, had no friends, was failing college etc. at the start of this summer i got two jobs and have been doing quite well, but recently, the past 2 weeks ive been the lowest ive ever been, i cant sleep, i cry all the time and ive felt like im a waste of space and would be better off dead. i am pretty good at covering all of this up, my friends and parents suspect nothing, and im so scared and alone. i dont know what to do or how to tell my parents because they'll be disappointed or think im being stupid and "its only a phase" will come out. im really stuck and scared, can someone please tell me what to do?x

[grucio]

Dear xoeve

I fully understand yor feeling, from the first to the last word. First of all you should consider that you are not alone. I have had same feelings for several times in my life. Now I just know much better myself and my depression.

There are lots of things than you can do. For example you can go out jogging (it's useful because our body produces endorphin - be careful with warm up and cold down). Otherwise, in your diary, you can write about ten positive things and more, if you like writing. If I were you I would go to my GP and talk about your feeling.

I cannot give you any advice about your parents, but sooner or later, you should talk about yourself. Do not rush. In your life everything flows: the worste is over and the best must still come.

G

[BertieBassett]

Hi xoeve

Your not alone, you have friends on this site who will listen and offer the support you need.

I think you should see your GP and explain just how you feel, ask him/her to refer you to someone for counselling, I have just finished CBT and although I'm not 'cured' I have a more positive outlook on life.

With the correct help you too will feel better, not only about life but also yourself.

My counsellor has pointed me in the right direction, she has made me see things in a different light, I am a much happier person.

I 'suffered' for years feeling low, crying, not sleeping etc etc until my wife convinced to tell my doctor, I didn't realise I had a problem.

So please get the help you require, then one day you will be doing exactly what I am doing now, that is, trying to convince someone suffering with depression that there is help out there, and with that help you can overcome your depression and anxiety.

Hope that helps

Stew xx

[Hidden]

Hi

Sorry I have only just seen your post. I agree with the other replies, it would help you to have a chance to talk through the things that happened to you when you were 14 and how they have affected you. Try counselling and if that is not enough help then ask your GP to refer you to the nearest psychotherapy service.

Suexx