In a need of your advice: Hey! I'm... - Infertility Support

Infertility Support
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In a need of your advice


Hey! I'm Jolene, 35 y.o., living in the USA. Feeling completely broken up for about last 4 years. I had tubal bilateral hydrosalpinges. After that I had 2 failed IUI and 1 IVF in Asia. Now I'm thinking about repeating my attempts in some reliable clinic. I also have preference: I would like to combine my own egg and donor egg and surrogacy. Maybe someone faced this question and can help me with advice? The question is: do you know a proven place where I can solve it out? Would be very grateful for your attention

25 Replies

Hey JoleneHustler, I am extremely sorry to hear about your struggles. It is really hard to go through these constant hardships. I find myself in a very similar boat where nothing is working out for me. I had a miracle child and since then, I have been on this infertility journey. There are times when I want to give up but I am always told that that isn't a good option. You're thinking on the right track because maybe your treatments didn't work out because of the doctors you visited for your treatments. For procedures like IUI and IVF, it is essential that you first research properly about the doctor and the place you're visiting. Always, make sure that the clinic you visit has doctors with a good year of experience. Also, check their success rate and it is after that, you should visit them. These are the things I used to take very lightly initially, however, with time I have realized the importance. So many clinics I am aware of charge you soo much, however, their success rate is very low! Therefore, make sure you're well research. Good luck to you! I hope things go well. Do keep us updated.

Thank you for response! Oh, please, can you share the clinics which are not recommended to visit? Maybe you had heard something about them. Don't want to mistake and spend time on it. Also share your experience in this procedure, will be very grateful, cause I feel a little bit nervous about IVF. Which clinic did you make your attempts? Thank you so much!

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry the previous attempts didn't bring you luck..Unfortunately no one knows the answer to why cycle failes. Not even a dr! Still there are some general explanations, like poor quality of the embryo. Genetic defects in the embryos which cannot be always diagnosed. Or the presence of an unreceptive endometrium. But the problem is that there are no sure ways to find out which embryo is genetically normal and which endometrium is receptive! I've recently read a pretty interesting thing on the internet. ~ Let us consider a fertile couple that is trying to have a baby in their bedroom. Do their attempts at baby making sex result in a baby every month they have intercourse during their fertile time? Of course not! A young fertile couple may take up to one year to achieve a pregnancy - and they have just a 15 – 25 % chance of conceiving in a particular menstrual cycle! This clearly shows that human reproduction is remarkably inefficient. During IVF the chance of achieving a pregnancy in a single attempt is significantly higher- most clinics around the world have a success rate of 40-50 %. But it is impossible to pinpoint why 6 out of 10 women who undergo IVF fail to achieve a pregnancy and why the other 4 are successful in their attempt.~

There are clinics which want to make the IVF treatment a win-win situation. I've been twice with one of this kind. They offer money back guarantee programs. You pay for a certain number of cycles (for example 5 IVF cycles in my case) and if you do not get pregnant within those 5 rounds, they give you back your money. This is a wonderful option, which could help you preserve your peace of mind. At least as regards the financial aspect. So before starting an IVF cycle make sure that your clinic has such an option and ask them whether you qualify for such a programme.

Feel free for getting more details. GL!

So thankful for your response! Please can you tell in details which clinics offer money-back guarrantee? Very tempting offer as well, but sounds a little bit suspicious. Did you run it personally? What's your expression after that? Do you really have two your own babies after program? Sorry for asking so much, it's really worrying me now.

I'm sorry. I've just noticed your post. I know some time passed, so probably you've got more answers so far. but here we go.

Please can you tell in details which clinics offer money-back guarrantee? - Have personal experience with one only - bio texcom, ukraine. If you sign up for 5 shots IVF program, you get unlimited number of attempts, all meds included, donor eggs if needed for no extra fee. Also a great set of services ''all inclusive''. So if you fail to conceive after 5 shots in a row, and your body gets exhausted, or you don't want to continue treatments - they refund all money paid back!!

Did you run it personally? - Yes, though it took us 2 shots to conceive DS.

What's your impression after that? - Positive only. We'd been treated well and professionally. This made us feel we could come back for baby#2. Actually did :)

Do you really have two your own babies after program? - DS was born via C-section 2 yrs ago. I'm currently prego with baby#2 (DE IVF#1).

Oh yes, just a couple of things too add. This link might be useful for you-- This is a blog of American couple undergoing surrogacy treatments overseas. I don't know the policy of this board regarding links shared, so hope admin won't delete it. The couple is sharing their journey from the very first stage and up to the exit. They're parenting twins currently. Take joy with reading, hope this helps x

Hey hun! Feel so sorry to hear that but totally understand you. I was trying for about 5 years, and then came to a decision - to visit Ukraine. I read a lot of letters from women which suffered from infertility for a long years, then dared to a surrogacy and choose Ukraine for that mission cause it's in a couple of times cheaper than doing that in US, for example. My husband and I came to Kyiv to make our own research and visited seven clinics personnaly to make a right choice, cause I wanted to entrust my potential pregnancy to a proven clinic. If you wanna to know more about the issue - please contact me via email:

Hello! Very grateful for your response, you can't even imagine how! Tell me please which one did you prefer? Did you use their services and what's your common impression concerning this country? I have never really been there but heard different reviews; to say the truth it scares me a little bit. The main point is their language - I don't know Ukrainian and it seems to be very difficult - to arrive to the unknown country with unfamiliar language where no one can understand you. But anyway I'll be twice thankful for your report.

That's really smart of you and definitely a good decision. Did you happen to conceive? Did you do a typical surrogacy with donor eggs or just gestational surrogacy? If you're already done with the process and back home with your baby, could you please give me an estimate of how much $ you spend in the whole process... right from going for the evaluation to the last day, flying off to homeland with your bundle of joy. As I said we're on the verge of even giving up TTC but then having a baby is a dream you can never really disown. So, if I get enough reason to feel like yes we do have a chance maybe me and hubby can save up and go for surrogacy abroad. Well I have a serious inferiority complex though about the biological linking as in the baby won't have anything from me... I hope you know how it feels no matter how level headed logical you are. I think what the OP is planning is somewhat in line with what I want for myself. Will look forward to hear from you. :)

I truly think you'd better apply for some sort of ''guaranteed'' program in this case. Meaning you have success or refund coverage. We're currently passing donor egg ivf cycle #3 ( first 2 brought us adorable twins). Wanted more so turned to the same clinic for more cycles. If we're talking about surrogacy packages, then this one might be of some interest for you. VIP surrogacy package 50k euros:

You are provided a cellphone with a Ukrainian carrier for communication.

You stay in a standard room at the Venice Hotel or a luxury apartment for the first two visits. On your final visit you stay in a bigger suite that specially equipped for babies.

You receive a Newborn Package that includes all the things you’ll need when you start to take care of the baby.

You receive PGD services which helps eliminate poor embryos and also allows for gender selection.

You don't have to pay extra fees in case you'll need donor eggs.

A pediatrician sees your child every day. Also there is also a 24/7 hotline for English-speaking Pediatricians. They can come visit you at any time if necessary.

Regardless of how far along the surrogate is, if the case of miscarriage, or some other unfortunate event the agency takes care of the cost of paying the surrogate and finding a new one.

In case your baby is born premature, the agency pays all medical fees regardless.

If you have twins, there is no additional fee.

You have 9 am – 6 pm nursery and babysitting services available to you every day.

You may attend the birth of your baby.

And of course their guarantee. You get the set of services for affordable price. Worth considering in my opinion. Hope this helps. Feel free for the details.

Uff.... the struggles of fertility is just so unbearable. I don't have suggestion just ranting out. I'm glad you at least have the optimism and also resources to go on trying for the baby. I've had stopped bestowing on clinically assisted fertility considering myself a hopeless case after I've had failed at several attempts with IVF. We're still trying but only passively and hoping the medicated TTC would work. But I know miracle isn't real... so it seems like my hope and optimism is dwindling. The worst part there's nothing major detected just a couple of inconsistency and the bad eggs. I guess when someone's in my situation at least having a reason to blame on is still comforting. Anyway... I'm not sure if any clinic let's that half own egg and half donor egg IVF happen. Wish you luck for finding the right clinic... huggs!

in reply to Katty_Holz

That's dramatic..Unexplained sounds even worse to me that any of the known issues..Though I might be mistaken. I've always thought that knowing the exact reason is much better. 'cause you have all chances to get the problem nailed and then look for the most effective solutions..And if dr says nothing but ''a couple of bad eggs..'' or sth - that wouldn't be enough for me! I'm sorry, honey, you faced failure. Seems a lot of us have been through the same and got discouraged. This is just great we have this very place to be in. Where we can share thoughts and be sure we're understood well. 'cause we all are moving through more or less the same..I really don't know whether many clinics offer ''tandem'' cycles. Never did any researches on this point. But I'd definitely recommend looking onto ukraine as surrogacy destination. Mainly 'cause surrogacy friendly law there and affordable prices. Hoping for you x

in reply to Katty_Holz

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. In most cases, where the uterus is free of any obvious problems, switching to DE IVF is more likely to bring you success. If your eggs are responsible for the problem - Even transferring them to a surrogate’s uterus will produce the same result. IVF failure in older women is mostly caused due to older eggs which are not viable for pregnancy. The point is to find the best fertility center with professional staff to be treated at. Only there you'll be advised the best on your further treatment steps. Age of the woman, the health of uterus, and the ways her body responds to IVF medications also play a great role in IVF success. Normally, a woman’s ovary will release one egg a month - From a collection that is fixed at birth. It is known to decline sharply after the mid 30s. The rate of chromosomal abnormalities in human embryos is one of the major factors for IVF failure though.

Did they investigate the reasons? Those failures is too much. Lots of reasons could be considered here. Have you thought of PGD? You know, it's used to screen for single-gene disorders. Or for chromosomal translocations, where parts of chromosomes are rearranged. It will also identify aneuploidy. Have you ever discussed with your dr this option?

A huge amount of future success depends on the clinic chosen though. Be this surrogacy or ivf you should feel comfortable with the place you've been treated in. We're through treatments with Ukrainian clinic. Seems they fully understand the stress and sadness associated with fertility problems. Particularly when the treatment is received outside of the home country. I had the opportunity to discuss hopes, fears and practicalities involved. And their reputation in this field could definitely be termed as warm, caring, and professional. They are doing their best to meet the needs of the clients. They help you, your surrogate mother, egg donor or sperm donor to enjoy the process from beginning to end as well. Their surrogate mothers are carefully chosen and are are fully compensated for their time. They care about their surrogate mothers and intended parents. That's why they have a panel of dedicated and experienced surrogate mothers who work with the clinic over and over again. They also strive in every way to make the whole process for all involved as stress free, informed and safe as possible. And they are committed to offering the most transparent informed journey to parenthood possible. I don't have a single thing to regret about using them! May God bless such places like this!

in reply to andylins

Congrats with your successful journey! In Ukraine, surrogacy arrangements are permitted by law as long as the parties involved do meet the following requirements:To be an officially married, heterosexual couple.

At least, the intended father is able to provide his genetic material. Ideally, the law envisages that both commissioning parents provide their gametes for the creation of the embryo. To have a medical cause that is preventing the intended mother from becoming pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term. under safe conditions for both her and the baby-to-be.

Uterine malformations, being born without uterus, anatomical, morphological or structural problems of the uterine lining that lead to implantation failure. or are incurable are some examples of what the law accepts as medical causes. It is required to prove it by means of a medical certificate. This certificate will be reviewed and approved by Ukrainian gynecologists and reproductive endocrinologists.

Variations between estimates will depend basically on the surrogacy program you choose. It should be noted that using PGD for the determination of the embryo’s sex is permitted only to prevent an inherited condition related to the child’s sex!

I've shared this on another thread. Thought this might be of some interest for you. Our clinic has developed a unique method of 3D modeling appearance of a child, using a three-dimensional model of the donor and the child's father. To begin with, each donor is fixed in the photo and video with the help of special 3D technology. So you may see a woman from all sides. Zooming in and out the image. On the basis of this material, an anthropometric and physiognomic portrait of the woman is created. Then her basic characteristics are digitized. After receiving the same data about the future father they are superimposed on each other. This way they predict the possible appearance of a child!! Also such as the IQ of the donor, education, abilities, inclinations and state of health, temperament and character traits are also calculated. The clinic has 600+ donors in its database. So that you have more options and choices to make. Hope you're feeling well today. And, please, do drop us a line soon. xx

Hey there. If after many IVF attempts with own eggs and donor eggs you haven’t achieved a successful pregnancy yet, they may suspect that there exists some kind of immunological or blood clotting problem that prevents embryo implantation.

My advice is that you ask your OB/GYN for the possibility of being tested for immunological and blood clotting problems (thrombophilia). As regards the natural pregnancy you were able to achieve but led to miscarriage. or if you could see the sac with no embryo inside it is likely that it was an anembryonic pregnancy. it normally occurs when the embryo has developed some kind of genetic abnormality.

With donor eggs, the chances for the embryo to have a genetic abnormality are almost non-existent. The problem, thus, might lie in your endometrial lining and/or the response of your body to the embryo implantation process or the pregnancy itself. Have you considered using a surrogate? Recurrent IVF failure is an indication for surrogacy, although it is not a decision that can be made hastily.

stem cell and male infertility and female infertility on youtube

Have a look at Pasting here some extract out of there~ ''Depending on the package you choose, you can be provided with all or some of the following services:

Unlimited number of attempts . Our main principle is guaranteed result. It means that in case of failure we’ll be trying again and again until we get the desired result and you travel back home with long-awaited baby. It’s already covered by your contract and doesn’t require any extra fees.

All relevant medical examinations. Whatever medical examinations you need within your program, they all are covered by your contract. Even if you have already been examined in other clinics and the reason of unsuccessful treatment wasn’t determined, we will do extra checkups in order to make treatment effective and get the desired result.

Medications and all medical expenses. All our packages include all medications for hormonal stimulation in framework of your program, vitamins, medical expenses and services of medical staff.

Legal service: assisting in getting all documents in civil status registry office and embassy, translations, lawyer service, assisting of a manager at all stages of your program, etc.

Our legal service department and Spanish speaking manager will assist you in getting all needed documents, medical and civil birth certificate, notary legalization, genetic testing and baby’s passport as quick as possible.

Accommodation. All our clients stay in comfortable apartments and are provided with housemaid, cook and babysitter. Our attendant staff speaks English. The only thing that depends upon the type of package you choose is how large your apartment will be and if you will share it with other couples or stay separately.

Meals. There will be a cook who cooks dishes according to your tastes: home cuisine, fresh farm products and balanced menu with no limitations – every day throughout your program.

Transportation. Biotexcom has its own car fleet with drivers who know the peculiarities of clinic’s work and your transportation.

Large base of egg donors and surrogate mothers. Each day we examine up to 200 candidates who want to donate their eggs, and only 20% of them comply with our strict requirements to prospective egg donors’ physical and psychological health, age, having at least one healthy child restriction, and of course – pleasant appearance. Our donor base has an outstanding advantage – you have an opportunity to choose donor on your own. Thus, you are provided with her photos, video interview and 3D photo on which you can see your donor from different angles. Our donor base is one of the largest in the world. It enables us to start program just after signing up contract with no wasting time on searching for a donor.

DNA test. In order to get a baby’s passport, you need to prove genetic relation to the baby. There is a special procedure of DNA testing in the embassy in order to prove it.

PGD. It is a genetic testing performed to the embryo prior to the implantation. You can make sure that embryos are healthy or determine the gender of embryos.

Pediatrician supervision. When your baby is born, there will be a qualified and skilled pediatrician to take care of your baby’s health. He will teach you the basis of newborn’s care and will call on you regularly during all your stay in Ukraine.

Baby basket. You will get a baby basket with all stuff needed for your baby during his or her first days: clothes, bottles, pacifiers and baby formula.

Babysitter and housemaid. There will be a housemaid who is familiar with newborn care. Thus, she will be there to help you with the baby at any time of day and night, and if needed – she will help you contact the necessary specialist in the clinic.''

in reply to Loraine7

Thanks for sharing. The clinic we were with screens its surrogates I believe the best. These involve gynecological examinations, blood tests, and screening for various sexually-transmitted diseases among many others. She also has to go through psychological screening. She would usually be given continual counseling by the agency along with the parents. One should also remember that in countries where commercial surrogacy is legal like Ukraine, the surrogate will have zero parental rights over the child. I believe this is the factor for majority.

I've found this amazing article, thought I need to paste here ##

''A unique method to get pregnant in your 40s with your own eggs!

BioTexCom Center for Human Reproduction offers patients who are above 40 and for those, who suffer from low levels of AMH, an innovative program that makes it possible to get pregnant with their own eggs. The donation of mitochondria, or,as it is also called, mitochondrial replacement therapy, is an innovation and a breakthrough in the field of ART and the fertility treatment. This program gives women, who underwent numerous unsuccessful IVF cycles, aged 40+, (patients with low mitochondrial functional activity), an excellent chance to give birth to a child who shares a genetic relationship with her and her partner. How is this possible?

Mitochondrion is one of the most important components of any living cell, including the egg. In simple words, mitochondrion is the cell’s energy station. Essentially, its work consists in supplying the cell with vital energy for its normal functioning.

Women that went through multiple unsuccessful IVF attempts, as well as of older reproductive age, need to restore oocyte mitochondria in order to successfully become pregnant. A woman can become pregnant only if there are functionally active mitochondria in her oocytes. Donation of mitochondria will allow thousands of hopeless women to give birth to a healthy child through IVF using mitochondrial donation.

To carry out such a procedure, an egg donor with a high functional activity of mitochondria (a blastocyst production rate of 70% or more), a patient (willing to get pregnant), and sperm for in vitro fertilization are required. Healthy functionally active mitochondria are taken from a donor’s oocyte and integrated with the patient’s cells. Next, fertilization with sperm and transfer of a healthy embryo into the patient’s uterus is performed.

Mitochondria donation is a unique assistive reproductive technology, which is basically the implantation of a healthy and functionally active donor mitochondria into the cells of an infertile patient, that provides the patient’s cell with the necessary energy and contributes to successful pregnancy.''

In other words, this may give you the chance to still use YOUR egg, not DE!!

Hey girls! Can't even describe how I apologize for a year of silence. Unfortunately this silence has its own reasons. My husband and I have to leave US for a year, it was connected with our work. We had a harsh year in India and can't say I'm very pleased of that journey. For this time my new IVF attempts were kinda impossible. Now I'm free to start again and to hear from you, maybe something has changed.

Welcome back!! I would agree that would-be parents from nearby West European countries including the UK and from as far as Australia and the USA are seeking surrogacy in Eastern Europe more and more. The process is well regulated there. Surrogates are usually required to submit photos upon application. Then they undergo testing both physically and psychologically to make sure they are fit. Only women who have given birth before are qualified to become surrogate mothers. Agencies/clinics usually do not accept surrogates who drink, smoke, or take drugs. Typical surrogate moms from Eastern Europe are between 20 and 40 yrs. Prospective parents are given several profiles they can choose from before agreeing to a surrogate mom. As I’ve mentioned above, before going straight for pregnancy, a surrogate would have to undergo extensive medical testing. What tests a woman has to go through depends on the country’s law.

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