IVF donor sperm: Hi! I’m new here and... - Infertility Support

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IVF donor sperm

Binie profile image
13 Replies

Hi! I’m new here and don’t know what the procedure of introducing is, but I will do my best. So, my name is Adriana and I come from a small town in the eastern part of Slovakia. This year I’m turning 40. I have a good job of teacher in the best school in the whole region. I teach maths, but what I really like is studying foreign languages. The amazing thing is that all I need to have is internet connection to study a new language. I don’t have many friends and I live with my mom who is getting older. Closer to 40 years, I started to realize that I want to have a baby. But there is one problem about it. I’m single, and I always was. I’ve no experience of any relationships with men. Don’t ask, there were a lot of reasons for it. I know that so many people do IVF now, so I’m also seriously thinking of it. They will use my eggs and I need donor sperm. You, ladies, are so experienced here. Tell me what shall I start from.

Thank you!

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Binie profile image
Binie
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13 Replies
Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33

Hallo! Now it’s hard to believe in your story. 40 years old lady who has never known a man's touch and affection… In fact I don’t know it’s misfortune or abnormality or both.

In any case you should undergo complete medical examination, take tests and other. Or if you anyway use the internet in your own needs it’ll not be difficult to you to meet a wonderful man who can change your life style.

Binie profile image
Binie in reply to Blooo33

oh no, I'm using internet with educational aims, not for chatting with men. I just don't need it. Believe me or not. I haven't met a man who will arise any type of desire in me, neither sexual nor cognitive.

And no - this is not a misfortune. I think this is fortune, vice versa. All men can do is ruin women's lives, health and self-esteem.

There is only one BUT: the nature worked it out this way - I need a man for reproduction. But it seems that even in this case science was smarter than nature

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to Binie

But what about the feeling named “be loved by somebody”?

I just can try to imagine how it’s hard to you to understand this sentence, because you have chosen other way. But I know that every woman needs to feel the warmth of relationships.

Maybe you have some spicy reasons to stick to this opinion.

Binie profile image
Binie in reply to Blooo33

I will have my child "to be loved by somebody" and yet someone to love and care for. That's it. Love is not about washing his socks and cooking dinners for him. And then quarrels, and shouting and blaming each other. I'm out of this stupid game

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33 in reply to Binie

i feel uncomfortable to teach you. you really asked for advise and perhaps that’s not right to urge you to search for a man. It’s your choice.

But why do you think that any relationship relates to the quarrels? My husband and I lived together for a long time. I remember we had tough time but it was because we were tired of struggling with infertility.

But even in this case the quarrels didn’t happen to us. Also he washes his socks by himself or with help of washer.

Maybe you have had to see bad things in your own family? Did you get enough love from your dad?

Petricker profile image
Petricker in reply to Binie

oh Binie! I don't know whether you need our support or just advice. Your situation is pretty new for me. I consider you are a strong woman and you don't need any man around you to be happy. Am I right?

I understand that all men in your life made you think this way. But maybe it's just your luck? You know men can make us happy. I mean REALLY happy. When you have someone close to you who is ready to support you anytime, it's invaluable. No one should be alone for a long time for sure. Take care!

Binie profile image
Binie in reply to Petricker

I don't know if I'm strong or not. Maybe. What I know for sure is that I should stay away from men. Their influence in my life is destructive. My granddad left my grandmother, my father left my mother, my sister got pregnant at 16 and her baby never knew her father. What's the sense? In broken hearts? In suffering? In broken destinies?

I say no. I don't need a man. All I need is male genetic material and I want a very good donor - beautiful, tall and healthy

I need to know a clinic where I can choose a donor on my own

bestfriendever profile image
bestfriendever in reply to Binie

Not all men are the same. It was just an accident. I don't believe that you don't have even a small desire to be with man you love you, who will take care or you, who'll take a tea or coffee for you. Who'll tuck a blanket round you, who'll snuffle and cuddle up you. Don't you want to be special to him? Honestly, I don't believe you, every little girl was dreaming about prince :)

Petricker profile image
Petricker in reply to Binie

I understand that it's personal and maybe it's hard for you to share such things with anybody but why do you have such attitude towards men? I mean your men, not grandpa/father/sister's husband. Did you have a man who hurt you personally? don't get me wrong, I don't want to persuade you are not right, just I know what it's like when someone's experience and opinion mess with you.

But I get it. There are lots of clinics where it's possible to have IVF with donor sperm, it's allowed almost everywhere. I'm sure there are such clinics in your country as well.

victory75 profile image
victory75

Hello! I don't want to judge you. We all have our own oddities. And you'll have a right to be a mother. I think first of all you need to find a good clinic that will help you to understand what in particular you should start with. Did you do your AMH? Because if you have a low level of oocytes, you need to use donor's eggs. Are you ready for that?

Binie profile image
Binie in reply to victory75

sorry, what do you mean oddities? My personal choice cannot be odd. I have considerable reasons for that. If you choose to loose your virginity with a boy you hardly know at your 13, anyone calls it odd? I don't understand you.

As to test, no I haven't done any tests yet but I'm sure that my health is good enough for having a child. I've never had any inflammation processes and no STDs of course, so I have nothing to worry about

victory75 profile image
victory75 in reply to Binie

I'm sorry for my warped judgment. It's just weird to me, I've never met such kind of person like you... it's unusual choice for a woman.

Of course, you could do ivf, especially if you are healthy, you would probably need only one attempt.

But, what will you answer to your child's question if he/she asks, "why I don't have a father?".

lilachiala profile image
lilachiala

hello! it's very unexpected thing to read to be honest. and the issues are quite personal. I'm sure everyone here wants to ask lots of questions more than to give a piece of advice on where to find donor sperm.

however, i'm not an exception and want to add a few words. you say that men are always making the things worse and you have spectacular examples of this fact. you also say that you don't need men. well, the same things could be told about women. I know many men who suffered and were devastated because of women. but they still try to find the one and only.

Have you looked through the list of fertility centers in your country? Have you done any medicals? at your age it's not always easy to have IVF with your eggs.

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