now surrogacy

Hello, I’m Madeline, and I’m 27. My first pregnancy was hard, but eventually I had my beautiful daughter, she’s 6 now. I always wanted to have more than one child, so after our daughter had turned 3 y.o. we decided to have another one angel. I got pregnant for the second time but on 17th week I had hemorrhage and MC. Doctors had to make hysterectomy to save my life. It was a hard time for us. It still hurts. It was supposed to be a girl…We’ve been recovering ourselves for like a year, thanks to my family we went this period through and the desire to have a sister or a brother for my daughter is still with us. Now the only way out is surrogacy. I’ve been thinking about it over and over again and finally these thoughts brought me here. In my country it is forbidden, so I have to find other alternatives. Could anyone who has experience concerning surrogacy tell me about all this procedure? What should I start with? Is it possible to see some kind of potential surrogate mothers base and chose the one by ourselves?

30 Replies

  • Hi, Madeline, so sad to read your story, and at the same time it is very inspiring that you continue fighting for your dream. I’ve also been through MC and I can imagine your pain. First of all, I advise you to start with choosing a proper clinic for yourself. You could choose several of them and make a request in each one. Every clinic has its own packages, cheap and expensive, and a certain range of services. You choose the one that meets your requirements and sign the contract. I know, it’s a brief summary, but you may asking me some details if you want, I’ll answer with pleasure.

  • It was a busy weekend for birthdays! Two-time surrogate Rachael delivered a healthy baby boy just one day before her own birthday: “There is no greater gift than getting to see him and his parents.” What a blessing. Congratulations to all!

  • Hello madeline. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, it's a real challenge indeed. But it's great that you shared it with us, I'm sure you'll find a lot of support here. I know what it's like, to have just one option you can hardly accept and not to know what to do. I've been through this not so long ago and I was choosing between 2 countries which legislation regarding surrogacy was loyal enough. You may look through my previous posts, maybe you'll find them helpful. But don't start looking for options if you are not ready for this, give it a time to heal and only then move on. Wish you all the best, dear! x

  • Hi, serlorera, thanks a lot for your good words. I’ve read your story and comments, and it really helped me assure myself in surrogacy decision. It is huge for us but we are ready. Didn’t expected so many positive responses about Ukrainian clinics, honestly, I know not much about this country. But now I am going to do some researches…

    P.S. Be patient,dear, I am sure everything will gonna be alright.

  • I've just found an article about infertility treatment, maybe it coulld be helpful to you. I hope I can share this link here.

    I get what you mean. I didn't think about Ukraine as a surrogacy destination but here we are. too many new information to consider, right? Don't hurry anyway, your decision must be deliberate. everything's good, thank you for support. Luck x

  • Thanks a lot, the article is really informative. Some my doubts were dispelled. Yeah, well now it's time to analyze all this bunch of information...I'll hope we make a right choice.

  • whatever you choose, it is right dear. be careful and always ask questions if you have them, don't agree with something you don't understand. you may call and write to them as well. if you call, you'll get the information faster i suppose. good luck x

  • Oh, my dear. I was so painful to find out your story. God knows how it was terrible to live through that. Wish you have a good health and health to your sweet angel! You are welcome here!

    You are not alone, lots of us got a solution and advice on this forum.

    We’ve recently our long excruciating journey. Now we have a beautiful baby-girl via surro. Her name’s Avril. What about your ovaries? In case you still have it and you can be stimulated, you may try surrogacy on your own eggs. Actually I don’t know the place where it’s possible to select a surrogate from the database. Because her appearance and genes aren't transmitted to your future child, she just carries your baby with no genetic relation to it. And I guess it’s a doctor’s work to choose better surrogate variant to specific couple according to the medicals exams.

    But I had my experience in the clinic which can be interesting to you. But beforehand necessary to know what are your requirements to the reproductive center?

  • Thank you so much for your feedback, my congratulations, I’m so glad for you! I feel your happiness through your massages. When I read such stories with happy endings it makes me smile all the time, it brings me hope and faith. Yes, I have my ovaries. That would be great if I can make it on my own eggs; because it’s very important to me to be a real mom for my child, I mean, biologically. Professionality, this is what I need from a clinic.

  • Yes, thank you too. You should take a hormone test to know exactly what quality of eggs you may give.

    Curiously to find out where you are from and about your marital status. I don’t know that geographical directions you prefer most of all. But there aren’t not so many places where you can get good quality treatment of your problem for relevant price.

    My surrogacy had place in Ukraine, I don’t regret and can’t complain. If it really can be interesting to you, you know you may ask

  • Thanks, yeah, I'm interested. I did some researches about the clinics' prices and services. Well, I actually understand those people who come to Ukraine for surrogacy. It is much cheaper than in other countries...You chose Biotex, as I see. Could they provide information via email? or it will be better to call?

    btw, I'm married, but why are you asking? is that important?

  • Actually you are free to choose any way to contact them. I think you may prefer to write to them, it’s always easier to begin.

    We had both types of contact before our visit. They have to give you full info in any case, it’s their work.

    I had asked because it was really important if you use a surrogacy in Ukraine because of Ukrainian legislation.

    Your official husband’s dna test is the way which helps you to transfer your future child back home with you.

  • Oh, I see...Well, that wouldn't be a problem, because we are officially married.

  • Well I have found a minute for chatting but see nobody here. So I wanted to ask you about your journey and how are you doing in general? Have you any advancing – progress – news concerning to your decision?

    After my successful return I receive many letters from ladies who struggle with infertility.

    It’s exciting to give even piece of help.

  • Hello, Bloo33!

    I'm sorry, I didn't have much time to answer. I'm now in a decision making situation. The day before yesterday we were at biotex. You can read my last posts and get in the swim of things. I also visited another clinic, but now I don't have much time to write about it. Because we need to think over our decision.

  • Receive my congratulations! I think you made right steps in the direction of family building! Those guys know well what to do! Hah/

    If you have no spare time to describe your previous experience you may tell me about your impressions after this visit.

    I’d like to read. It will be interesting to compare.

  • Thank you! You're very nice.

    You can read my last post. I'll leave you a link here

    It is only the first part.. I have also the second one...ha.ha..I didn´t know that it would be so exciting to write down all my steps.

    How are you doing right now? how is your baby?

  • Thank you very much, I feel excellent but too tired to be here and give responses.

    Avril takes all my time. it’s pleasure to spend my days in such way. I had no it before and seems I get overmuch now, hah. That’s perfect.

    I hope you’re doing well

  • Oh I see! Of course, motherhood takes all of your time. After the birth of my daughter I didn't sleep at all! She was hyperactive baby. She didn't want to sleep at nights. It has been continued until 3yo. only after that she began to sleep the whole night.

  • “Little kids little problems. Big kids big problems" believe in this statement. it expresses my situation in details. But what a pleasure to feel tired after such a sweet torture. She is a crying candy awaking me each moment she wants. It’s a holy gift to comprehend that she needs me beside.

    I used to be tired of trying to have her, but not it already doesn’t seem like nightmare, it was just a challenge in past which made me wiser.

  • So sorry for your loss! Try to overcome! You are always free to ask everything you need.

    Sometimes people face a problem with only one way of solution. I have been repeating like a mantra ‘infertile isn’t a verdict’ and seems it gave me a faith. I can have all I want in any cases.

    Set the main goal and try to reach it, don’t pay attention on suspicious offers, keep on and save your money and time. you surely will find your best clinic.

  • Hi Madeline! I've just got aquinted with your story.. Sounds sad. Hope you'll find enough strength to overcome all that. At least you should always remember you already have one great and healthy child.. You should stay strong and live for your daugter. As for another child and some more attempts to get it right.. I think you can give a try with that Ukrainian clinic.. At least if I were you I would do that.

    Take care

  • Wow...didn't expect so many replies! Thank you all for your support! I feel that I am not alone here!!! So great that there is a place where we can share our pain, feelings and experience.

  • Hi, sorry to hear about your loss. I know how that hurts but don't give up. Life is going on and things are changing. We've been in the same situation like you. The only difference is I can't bear a baby in any case because of my nature. Probably you didn't read my post.

    But last week we did a crazy thing, being overwrought we decided to fly to ukraine. Can you imagine this?

    Thanks God, the fly was safe and we had a consultation with the doctor.

  • Hi, bestfriendever! I've read your post, your story is so unusual. I could imagine what difficulties you face every day from people who are narrowed in their view of life. You know, you can count on my support, cause we all here want only one thing - to become parents, and i think it's wonderful! I really want to know what would be your next steps. And how is it in Ukraine? My husband and I are intended to go there too...but we are still in some hesitation....

  • No hesitation, dear. There are no worries at all.

    Originally, we are from states and came to ukraine some time ago. Honestly, we didn't expect to meet such nice people there. No language barrier, no blaming, probably you saw my comments. I was writing about my cruel life and family's attitude, that's why ukraine seemed to me very friendly country.

    well, my next step is a surrogate, as we didn't have an opportunity to choose her. It is all because of matter of privacy. But we ok with it.

    we had our initial there, signed the contract and came back home, I think it's enough for the first step :) :) :)

  • TaylorSt, Thank you for such a detailed review! It's very useful information. I wonder, what exactly the clinic are you talking about! I like the fact that the sum is devided into parts...

    As I wrote in the last post, we've decided to go to Ukraine on Tuesday. So soon I'll see everything with my own eyes. Another question...When have you been there last time? I ask this, because some conditions and the price could change in course of time.

    I'm sorry you had faced that frauds. That is so disgusting, deceive people who have misfortune!

  • Hello, Donnab4! I’m so grateful for you to share your story! Nice to know that I’m not alone who opted for Ukraine!

    I’m fine now, thank you. And I’m at home right now. We were in Ukraine last month and signed a contract for surrogacy. I'm waiting now for our surrogate being approved by our doctor.

    I’m surprised you went the length of the second round of surrogacy! Glad to hear that your first journey ended successfully! For this reason I have so much to ask you about… How long have you been waiting for your surrogate? What city have you been? What is the term of your surrogate now? Have you already seen her? Oh, please answer me...I'm so curious...

  • Thank you for the answers!! The second waiting was so fast, is it possible? You brought me hope that soon I'll get good news from my manager! I also have a contract with the clinic you've mentioned! Is it coincidence? or maybe there arn't many options for people to go for surrogacy except Ukraine...they have good prices comparing with oother countries.

    My congratulations on expecting!!! I was told that we can see sm after the 12th week, right? Do you communicate with her after the meeting? or before?

  • I am considering AI as I've had no luck conceiving naturally. I've been told it might be difficult for me to conceive from a number of procedures I've been through in the past, including an operation to remove a cyst in one ovary.

    In my mid-thirties and been married to my second husband a couple of years. Needless to say, the pressure for me to conceive is enormous. :cry:

    Lately I spend my time reading about AI as am almost certain of going that way if nothing works out soon. I suspect the problem is with me I've previously had a Doctor tell me I have low ovarian reserve. Don't know why as he said the condition is common to women in their forties. Considering that might be the problem and since am in a hurry to give my DH a child, can I find a place where my problem can be diagnosed and if need be discuss AI? My search on the net has yielded a couple of such clinics which include one known as BioTexCom-Kiev which seems to be quite popular from the reviews left by users. Any leads, anyone?That's before I speak to my husband, see if he will consider accepting an egg donor to come to our aid. I feel quite drained right now.

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