surrogacy failures, looking for RELIABLE clinic

Hi everyone! My name is Kaitlin, 36 yo. I've got pregnant in 2008 and everything seemed perfect. My husband and I had been ttc for a couple of years. My pregnancy was a miracle and blessing. We were so happy… But terrible thing happened. It was 27th week. Son of our neighbours pushed me into the stomach and placental abruption occured. He was bullying another girl, who was younger then him and I just wanted to protect her. Our loss greatly influenced us mentally. We attended psychologist. He helped a bit, but still it's so hard to survive this and unbearable feeling inside… We still can't recover from shock. Unfortunately that wasn't the end of our suffering. We went for surrogacy in Mexico. I wish we never went there! We put all our hope in it. And of course we paid so much money. Though that clinic had pretty good reviews and doctors seemed to be professionals, our procedure failed. Our surrogate mother lost our baby on 28th week. Idk, maybe we are cursed? Maybe we just not suppose to have children? It happened so because of doctor's negligence. That clinic was closed last year. No one will suffer because of them again. Then we decided to go to India for surrogacy. We spent all our money for Mexican clinic. That's why we started to save money for another procedure. But India suddenly was closed for foreigners! It seems to me like someone's bad joke! We can't afford to have surrogacy in USA. Their prices are too high for our abilities. Girls, which clinic is better to address? Maybe you had surrogacy and can advice some good place to go? I really need your help! I'm so tired of failures. I still hope that we'll have chance to have a normal and happy family.

14 Replies

  • Hi Kaitlin! I'm so sorry about your losses. Your story made me cry. Life can be really unfair! Honey, I'm glad to see that you don't give up! I'm sure you'll get what you want. We should always fight for our dreams and goals no matter what. I also can't carry a baby by myself. I was born without an uterus. There is no chance for me to get pregnant and feel my baby pushing into my stomach. Still I'm grateful there are places and people who can help us with our problem. At the same time this is really hard to find good agency or clinic. There are so many scammers, who want to become rich, using poor people like us. There are even women, who pretend they want to be surrogates and then they get money and dissapear. Unfortunately our family faced such woman. Three years ago my dh and I decided to find sm by ourselves. We thought the procedure will be cheaper in this way. We met with her and discussed everything. She seemed so kind and lovely person. After our first payment she was gone. She didn't answer our phone calls or mails. It was so hard to get back to search of another place to go. I was seeing deception and a dirty tricks everywhere. After our experience we decided not to contact agencies and especially search sm by ourselves. We were looking for reliable clinic with professional doctors and high rate of successful treatments. I think you did the same and bumped into this Mexican clinic… I'm so sorry about your experience there. We decided to concentrate mostly on Europe. As India was closed, we were choosing between Russia and Ukraine. Ultimately we chose Ukrainian clinic. Reviews were mostly positive and this clinic has high success rates. Though we had some doubts about their medicine, we decided to go there and check everything. Our concerns faded away when we talk to our doctor and program coordinator. We saw fashionable design of the clinic and modern equipment. And the most important we saw so many couples there! People all over the world came to this clinic for surrogacy and de ivf programs. We have no regrets! We are so lucky we went straight to this clinic. Our daughter Kristine was born in May last year. We celebrated her first birthday 2 weeks ago. Dear, I wish you all the best! I hope you'll become mother very soon! You really deserve this after everything you've gone through! If you have any questions, I would love to answer all of them!

  • I appreciate your support. I'm so sorry about your experience with that woman. Such people have no conscience. There are so many girls who really want to help. They propose their help on forums and the do it with pure heart. Because of such women like this one we just can't believe them. I'm happy for you and your successful procedure. My congratulations to your little girl! I understand that it was hard for you not too look for falls in each clinic you was finding. I have same situation and I see negative aspects everywhere. I hope you will give me some information. I'm so tired of failures and misfortunes. The only thing I want is to become a mother. Do I ask too much? I just don’t know what to do and where to go... I want to stop this depression, want to start living, want to have a happy family and the most important – want to have children! I hope this one will be last one and successful. May I ask why didn't you choose Russia? I think there are also many clinics and lower prices. What is the name of the clinic you used? What services and prices does this clinic offer? Mexican clinic pulled a lot of money from us. We hope to find clinic with affordable price. Was there a possibility to pay in parts? I'm little bit afraid to give all money right away... I think that clinic may slow down if it gets all money. Staff receive what they want and they don't harry with the process. I've read about such cases. We really don't want to waste time. I understand they can't clap and surrogate mother would appear immediately. I just don't want to wait for months and years in expectation of miracle.

  • You're welcome hun and thanks for congrats! Don't be sad. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive! Our mood is also very important in this situation. I'm sure this journey will be your last one and successful! You deserve this and you will get it. Maybe your're right about Russia. There are probably many clinics and prices are also much lower then in US or Greece. But its legislation is not very inclined for infertile couples. They have a law which gives all rights for child to surrogate mother. So she can leave your baby to herself if she wants to. We didn't want to risk, so chose Ukraine, which doesn't have this law. We used the clinic, which is called BioTexCom. I should say, that neither our program coordinator, nor our doctor never make us to wait for too long. When we contacted the clinic for the first time, response was fast, answers to our questions were clear and we got all info we needed. In 2,5 months after our first visit our program coordinator contacted us and told us that they found surrogate mother for us. The service was on a good level. Even some small details were considered. Despite we were in foreign and unknown country, we felt comfortable and didn’t worry that we’ll be lost or couldn’t find what we need. We were met by taxi driver. Then taxi was carrying us across the city. We didn't have to find the clinic by ourselves! We also had a translator so there were no misunderstandings at all. That girl translated everything for us and also answered all our questions. We stayed at nice apartment with all needed facilities. Btw, there are photos of housing, which the clinic proposes on it's website. We had no problems with food supply or communication. Thanks to smartphones with Ukrainian numbers we could easily talk to our program coordinator. Speaking about price the clinic has packages. You can choose the one which suits you the most. We chose vip for 49 900 euros. I remember there were also packages for 30 000 euros and 40 000 euros.

  • Thank you for kind words! I’m so grateful you’re helping me to clarify everything. I didn’t know about Russian law. Sounds really weird! Absolutely strange woman may simply leave your child. How it’s even possible? Baby is not even genetically related with her! I’m happy to hear Ukraine doesn’t have this law. I’m surprised the clinic found surrogate mother for you in such short period of time. I thought this process takes not less then 6-12 months. Where their surrogate moms live? Did you take your surrogate mother to live with you? As I know all of them should have children to become surrogate mothers. I don’t know if it’s possible and moral to take them away from their families. At the same time, I can’t even imagine being hundreds miles away from your baby during almost a year! How much did you pay for those services, which clinic provided you with? Maybe it will be cheaper to find translator and housing by yourself. The only thing searching will be pretty hard. Language barrier complicates it. Did you pay this 49 900 euros at once? What’s the difference between those packages? Was there problems with documents for your babies? I have absolutely no idea how to arrange all this in Ukraine. I guess some documents for child to leave the country will be needed. How to make everything right? I need to clarify one issue which concerns me the most. Is it safe to go there at this moment? We all know about their war. I’ve seen so many horrible videos and reports from the news. Innocent people die there, whole cities turn into ruins. There are so many homeless and poor people, who became so because of this war. I pray for those people, I hope that situation there will change. But I should think first about safety of my family.

  • I completely agree that surrogate mothers should live with their families. It's hard to be thousands miles away from your baby during 9 months. But we should also think about those women, who help us to become parents. They care about our baby, they carry it for us. They make a great thing! So we should consider their needs and desires too. They will nervous less and be more calm surrounded by relatives in their native home. Our program coordinator was providing us with all info about surrogate mother and our daughter at least once per month. Speaking about translator, taxi and taxi driver, accommodation, food and smartphones. All these services are already included into packages! You won't need to look for all that by yourself. We didn't pay some extra charges and we were never asked to pay some other fees. So the only amount we spent were that sum set in our contract. We chose package called VIP. It costed 49 900 euros and the sum was divided into 5 rates. 10 000 euros we paid after signing contract. 9 900 euros – during second visit and before the fertilization. 10 000 euros - on twelve weeks of the gestation of our sm. 10 000 euros – after the birth of our girl. And final 10 000 euros we paid after receiving all documents for our daughter. Vip is more comfortable I should say. Needed blood tests were made by the coming nurse domiciliary. We didn't have to stay in lines and wait for our turn. As I've mentioned there were a lot of couples. Also the clinic provided us with all stuff needed for new born babies. Also we were provided with 24/7 phone consultation of the pediatrician. By the way she spoke English very well! Also we asked our pediatrician to come check our girl so we had no need to go to the clinic. She was crying and we thought maybe something was wrong. So the doctor came, checked her and gave us some advices. Also there was such service in vip package as babysitter from 9 am till 6 pm. In standard package, babysitter comes for only 4 hours/day. We needed to do all arrangements with documents, payments, tickets and so on. So 4 hours was not enough for us. So we didn't have to rush. We had time to overthink everything carefully. And also our surrogate mother has already had a positive surrogacy experience. That's why we've chosen this package.

  • Speaking about documents you have nothing to worry about. The clinic helped us with them too. I also had no idea where to go and how to organize everything right. They provided us with assistance in the Ukrainian civil registry office. We've got the child’s birth certificate there. And of course they helped us in getting a travel passes for our daughter. You can set your worries about war aside! We were in Kiev in 2015 last time. We were nervous too! We didn't know what picture we’ll see after we leave our plane. Especially after watching some videos our panic was huge! But I assure you it’s one of the most peaceful and friendly cities in the world. It's absolutely safe in Kiev. The hostilities take place in east part of Ukraine. So you have nothing to concern about. The only thing you should think about is your future baby.

  • Thank you so much for all this info! It's really hard to find good clinic nowadays. There are so many clinics, but not all of them have professional doctors. I've experienced failed surrogacy procedure. I really don't want this to repeat again. Also the fact that there are so much scammers makes the search even harder. Their amount grows with each year. You never know for sure whom you speak with. Even looking for surrogate mother by yourself isn't a good idea nowadays. I'm happy I found this forum. Now I know what to concider and where to move. I have a strong feeling this time I'll make it. So much nerves and efforts were spent. I appreciate your help! I wish all of us all the best. I hope we'll have new member in our family very soon.

  • I’ve got an impression that Biotexcom takes too much on itself. Why accept so many clients if you can’t serve everyone right away? Yes, I admit, lines exist everywhere. It’s fine to wait for 20-30 minutes. I understand that not every clinic is able to hire dozens of doctors. But guys, srsly, we’ve been waiting for hours! Wtf? It’s absolutely wrong to make people wait their turn for 3 hours! I was so irritated! We were lucky we had where to seat! So many people were just standing! It felt like we were in subway at peak hour. Well at least there were air conditioners. Some couples didn’t meet the doctor at same day! They were told to come the next day! I’m literally speechless. This clinic should overthink it’s abilities.

  • Agree, the clinic is overloaded. But who cares if you should stand for a couple of hours but you're 99% sure in result? We were also standing and we were also tired. Don't you think those lines only show that people trust them? People come there because they believe this clinic CAN help. Yes, we 'suffered' for a couple of hours in those lines. But now we have our precious daughter! Thanks to this clinic and its doctors, who help us to complete our family. Such thing as lines are fading away on the background of final result.

  • That's weird, I have been seeing the comments like this coming from you a lot on this forum. And all of them are identical. You write that you didn;t like the amount of people in biotex and that's your only concern. I was in biotex too and didn't experience anything bad or unfortunate, we were seating in the hallway for sometime but our manager was always there and form time to time she was checking on us if we feel comfortable and everything, even to the doctor we went with her, so she translated everything to us. We didn't spend a lot of time in the clinic, as we have done all of the tests and donations, after we signed the contract we were off to go. the dr gave me all the necessary meds and told what to do with all of them. I didn't feel irritated a bit. And even though there were lots of couples that thing only eased my feelings because I knew that this clinic is really popular so my ts was going to be alright.

  • Same here. It is so strange, but maybe we should appreciate when someone shares his own opinion on the clinic we've all been hearing only great things about. I myself disagree with his commentary for 100% though he says the truth that biotex is full of the people and sometimes you will have to wait in lines, but it is all compensated by the low prices and the quick tx. So I myself wouldn't change my mind just based on huge lines..

  • Well I guess it depends on time of the year probably. Most people want to go abroad during their

    vacation so it really depends. I heared rumors that there are a lot of people there during summer, but can not confirm that personaly.

  • Your story impressed me! So many efforts and so many tries... It's so nice you didn't give up and kept going. Your experience with Mexico clinic is really instructive. My wife and I are in search now. We went to Ukraine, but it's clinic didn't meet our requirements. Everything was good about it. Price, rates of success, services, almost all reviews were positive. But during our first meeting we understood that Biotexcom is not for us. There were too many people. There were literally crowded halls and lines were so long. There were lines even at the stairs! I don't know how people can just stand there for hours, waiting their turn. This clinic is definitely not for us. I hope we'll find the right place to go.

  • I'm not able to judge now if Ukraine is a good country for surrogacy or not. My path has only started. We chose biotexcom and now we are waiting for some good news from our manager. I can only say that the clinic we chose is very popular among infertile couples from all over the world. We saw people of different nations there, some of them came for de ivf, some for surrogacy programs. We saw many couples, who came for ultrasounds and deliveries. I think it's a good sign. Even though I'm nervous, but still I have some confidence in this place.

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