My episodes: While in ICU I had very bad... - ICUsteps


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My episodes

Edenderry profile image

While in ICU I had very bad disturbances I was in a cave part of the time and buried under ground I had tigers attacking me constantly and silver insects crawling all over me I even had pug pug pups to the side of me barking non stop in my ear,I later found out when I eventually left hospital my brother's old pug had died ,when I was at my worst I clearly seen my deceased mum and dad they walked through a bright tunnel smiled at me and my mum pointed to go back I still have some bad dreams 10 weeks on leaving hospital ,but all in all I was extremely lucky according to the wonderful doctors and nurses

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Its really interesting reading other people's realities. Some seem to have common themes and others are quite distinct. I left hospital in March '20 and I can still remember my realities in detail. Some were just brief encounters and others were part of a longer story. I believe I was treated in Gaydon Motor Museum and no one could convince me otherwise. I didn't have issues with animals etc but certainly visited the mortuary, the hospital was converted to an airport, I was operated on under water and I went on a world tour under the influence of a big comapany to name but a few. These don't cause me any problems any more. Whether that is due to the CBT course which helped resolve some other issues or not I don't know.

It's not uncommon for ICU patients to suffer from delerium / hallucinations but an acceptance that I was in a different reality helps. Weird really!

I should say that initially when I came home I relived some of the realities and also had new ones including my wife having a knife alongside her in bed. Also initially I had to be careful when dropping off to sleep in my chair as I couldn't wake up because of all the machines around me.

Only just started to re-live /talk about my full on visits to the wacky world of Hunter. S. Thompson style Fear and Loathing in Las ICU.Over ten years ago.

The doctors altered my DNA to that of a chicken /human hybrid, now I don't recall clucking or pecking the ground or giving myself a dustbath but they were all gathered round my bed and bullying me to lay egg after egg so they had enough to take home for omelettes.

I kept laying these eggs and every 3rd or 4th a fully formed bantam would explode from the egg and the nurses would be chasing the Fkin thing around the room (I'd been isolated so they could kill me with propofol & fentanyl /midazolam overdoses)

They had buyers arranged through Chinese eBay and they really wanted my organs, I can remember clear as anything the doctors discussing how much they were going to be selling each part of me for.

A friend who had moved overseas to a Swedish island came to visit even though he hadn't been in the country for 6 months and bought me a six foot tall stuffed bunny rabbit for moral support. As I couldn't speak because of my tracheostomy he just left it wedged in my bed then stole some morphine for his cold when the nurse giving out the meds had her back turned.

Then an escaped prisoner from the category A nonce prison across the road (there is a prison there) broke into the ICU, stole a bunch of Christmas presents from under the tree and then took a massive drug overdose and coded right there on the floor in front of my bed.

I said to the nurses and doctors trying to revive him that they should just leave the bastard to die because he had stolen their Xmas presents and why should they be expected to treat him after that!

Sounds funny.


There is much more and it's way darker.



It’s a mad world, ICU delirium. I was tied up, tied down, frequently shot at, attacked by a multitude of oppressors and went on rampages myself. 5yrs later - these episodes are pretty crystal clear - they don’t haunt me in the way they did.

Kit10 profile image
Kit10 in reply to Sepsur

In my icu dreams I was in hell, or at least, a simulation of hell in an old slate mine in Wales, that was part dodgy night club part hospital, and I was originally there on a tourist trip but became a patient in icu because they thought I didn’t, know what 3 meant. Huh? Some reality got into the dreams including a ct scan and an mri scan but fortunately I was completely unaware of the lumber puncture. No idea which of the conversations I had with staff were real. How did I even ask “Where am I? What’s the date?” When I had a trachy and couldn’t speak?There were creeping invertebrates and barking dogs in my dreams too. And hibernating hedgehogs in the ceiling lights. Also mountains. And nurses who thought I was deluded for thinking it is normal to have 2 arms and 2 legs! I assume that wasn’t a real conversation.


Very strange reading these I also seen my deceased mum and dad they approached me at my so called worst through a bright tunnel ,they never spoke but smiled my mum pointed as if to go back I can still see that image very clearly ,and at the near end of my stay in ICU both me and my neighbour patient both could see and hear bats flying around the room what is it all about ,

My recently deceased mum also appeared to me; I was sitting on a bench watching the sunset and turned to see my mum across the road in her nurses uniform and holding a school crossing sign, she was bathed in golden light, beckoning. Another time, I was rising upward in pitch black darkness when I became aware of a presence, or presences around me, including my mum. The experiences were so real they're lodged in my mind years later as strongly as any memory.

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