Doctors giving little hope...: Update on my dad. We... - ICUsteps


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Doctors giving little hope...


Update on my dad. We are on day 26. Sigh. He had set backs this week. He is now at 65% vent with a peep of 10 and his oxygen saturation is low to mid 90s. He is struggling. Also he is now mostly on his back. Because being in the prone position makes his oxygen saturation got down to the 80s. He is not comfortable.

The doctor called us and told us that he has made little improvement and gave us little hope for him. Also that his kidneys are struggling. I’m floored. We discussed possible moving him towards a trach. How is it possible to have hope or faith if the docs are not on your side?

33 Replies

Hi, there. I’m so sorry to hear your dad is doing so poorly right now. I know it’s difficult to remain positive and keep faith, especially when doctors often offer so little hope. But if there is one bit of advice I could offer to you from my personal’s that you continue to advocate for your father. Don’t let them give up on him. Just because your father isn’t doing well now, doesn't mean he won’t be a little better in another week or even better in another two weeks. The road to recovery, especially for ICU patients, is usually one filled with many highs & lows. Doctors provide the most bleak outlooks, but their word isn’t written in stone. I will be praying for your father and your family, and I hope to see that he shows signs of improvement soon 💪 xx

Thank You for your kind words. ❤️ I have faith. I want to fight with my dad.

RiaJam in reply to ChrissyJames

Today is my brother’s 88th day in ICU. Like you were told to say our goodbyes several times but.......we weren’t ready to do that and it wasn’t my bro’s time either. So much of your story shoes our journey. He has a trache now and is on dialysis - we are not sure if that he I’ll be permanent - but he is making good if slow progress. Never give up hope - where there is life there is hope. It will be a long journey but he’s still with you, still fighting. Hold on to that. Sending positive thoughts for a good outcome for your dear dad. X x

Garbagestar34 in reply to RiaJam

Thank you! I hope your brother gets better soon. ❤️

My dad had many highs and lows in ICU and after being ventilated for 70 days he was then stepped down to a ward, is now having physio abd rehab in hospital and I am hoping we can get him home in the next 2 weeks.

It's a long road friend, just keep the faith that you have and keep on fighting for your dad, hopefully he will get there soon💜

Thank you! I am fighting as long as he is fighting.

In the end the doctors don’t have a crystal ball - many of us here have defied the odds & all the medical staff were extremely pessimistic about our chances. My wife was called in several times to say her goodbyes. Sometimes hope is all we have to cling onto.

My wife would describe days where it looked quite rosy & then the consultant would walk in and suck all of the hope out of the room.

The point is despite all of their predictions I’m still here. Whilst I’m warm & above ground - there is always hope.

Garbagestar34 in reply to Sepsur

I agree. As long as my dad is breathing there is hope. ❤️

Sepsur is quite right you have to remain optimistic. I had many ups and downs, the whole family were called in because I wasn’t expected to make it. They tried to take me off sedation and my body just couldn’t cope and then suddenly one day I was ready. I had a trachy and that isn’t as bad as it sounds and for my family once they accepted it, they felt that I looked better.

After 6-8 weeks on ventilation I am home now.

Ventilated patients do develop a weird sense of humour #warm_&_above_ground

I’m glad you pushed through. I’m hoping they fight for my dad as I am fighting. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Your story as so many give my hope for my dad. ❤️


So sorry to hear that. My husband went through what your dad is going through. I do believe they need to give your dad time. The docs are negative. They've told me that my husband will not make it 3 times but we have been fighting for him my daughter and I. He is at the hospital 85 days now and he is making slow progress but good progress. Keep the hope x

Thank you! We must keep fighting! ❤️

Hi I had two calls to say my dad wouldn’t make it and numerous times saying his condition was static .

My dad was on a ventilator for 73 days and is now home , he had many issues . Keep fighting just like your dad is , it seems with covid it’s a very up and down Virus and it takes time. X

Yes thank you. You like many other stories give me hope. I too wish to be patient with time so my dad can come home. This is such a horrible journey.

Stay strong and remain positive 💕 like most, my dad also had a tough time....but he came home this week after 88 days in hospital! Keep faith that he will pull through 🙏💪❤️ Lots of love xxx

Thank you for sharing hope with me. ❤️

Try to speak to a consultant if you can, or one of the nurses, the ITU nurses are with them most of the time and from my experience they are exceptionally knowledgeable. Don't give up hope, many of us on here have had loved ones in ITU on a ventilator for weeks on end. Which hospital is your dad in ? 26 days feels like a lifetime to you I know, but it's early days in this horrendous covid journey . Keep strong and positive for him .

Garbagestar34 in reply to Ferham

Hi Ferham. I don’t know how I stumbled upon this website. I am in Los Angeles , Ca area. My dad is in Pomona Valley hospital. I’m trying to keep as positive as I can for him and my mom who is also very nervous and anxious.

Ferham in reply to Garbagestar34

It's completely understandable to feel this way. I'm in the UK, I knew my husband was in the hands of experts receiving the best level of care, but it didn't stop me feeling anxious 24/7 . Please keep those positive thoughts, most of the members on here can tell the same journey you are on. Hoping today brings better news for you x

On one of my husbands many setbacks I said to the doctor who was giving me a grim update ......” do you think my husband is fighting ? “ he said oh yes I’m sure he is ! To this I replied please don’t give up on him then . He said no we won’t we will do everything we can , and they did ! My husband spent nearly 6 weeks in ICU , 3 weeks in a ward to help him speak swallow stand , and today I’ve had him home for 3 weeks now . He still has a long way to go but he is getting some strength back and trying to gain some weight back and every day I’m grateful to NHS staff that fight for everyone in their care , and I sent you and your dad prayers and hugs that they keep up the fight for you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for sharing your story. This give me hope to get my daddy back. ❤️

Sorry to hear about your Dad. Doctors are cautious and often anxious themselves, but like you they do hope their patients will pull through. Look after yourself and family through this tough time

Thank You. 🙏🏻

hi there - my husband had a cardiac arrest last year. He was on a ventilator for 8 weeks in Kings College Hospital. He was so poorly - we were given no hope but he was a fighter and two months later , after a lot of fighting with the hospital, I was able to bring him home. He is never going to be 100% but he gets up, shaves, washes and dresses himself, He has suffered slight hypoxic brain damage that impairs his memory somewhat. He lost 3 stone in hospital and although eating well still remains the same. He loves life and does most things, except driving and climbing ladders (but would if I wasn't there). We walk, talk and laugh together - for a 77 year old chap he is remarkable. There is hope for you my friend, they have to give you the worst case scenario - there will be many highs and lows but believe me the staff in ICU will do everything in their power to get him better and out of there. In the meantime, you stay strong and well as he will need you more than ever when he comes out.

Thank you . My dad is 56 with so much to live for. I just wish I can have him with me now. I can’t see him. ❤️

I’m sorry to read your situation but I just want to echo what everybody else says on here... do not give up hope!!! 3 times I was told to prepare myself for the worse when they were struggling to stabilise my husband in ICU, he had collapsed lungs, kidney failure and heart problems due to covid, on the 1st May we were called into the hospital to say goodbye because they felt it best to stop his treatment, while we were waiting to be ‘donned’ to see him he stabilsed, the doctors gave him a 1% chance of survival but my husband fought back, he had good days and bad days but eventually came home on 16th June, yes he’s got a long road ahead to full recovery but he beat his 1% survival chance so never give up hope xx

I can’t give up hope. My dad means so much to me. He’s is so worth fighting for. Thank you for sharing your story.

The Drs will always give worst case scenario, keep fighting for him as his body may just need longer. They usually won’t do a trachy unless oxygen requirements 50% or below as requirements go up for a few days after due to inhaling blood and lying flat. The kidneys are irrelevant at this stage. My husband had acute kidney failure on a filter for the whole 80 days he was in ICU - 61 on a ventilator, 40 with trachy - they said he could need permanent dialysis but a few days after leaving a renal ward and coming home where he was monitored and given one dose of dialysis his kidneys are improving and he may never need it. They are the last to recover so it’s the least of the issues as long as they have him on a filter. Refuse to agree to any DNR, where there is life there is hope xx

Thank you for sharing your story with me. We will not stop fighting for my dad. Glad your husband is recovering. ❤️

I think the docs now have that much info from blood tests and they use that info ,Eileen was getting better in my eyes but the bloods and oxygen machines were saying different ,this left me frustrated and with a feeling that they didn’t care ,I think in cold light of day I will accept the inevitable that doctors can only do so much and I have to consider Eileen’s quality of life if I was to have pushed for further treatment

I so sorry for the helplessness you feel as I feel the same ,wish you and your father all the best

Steve x

Hi..The doctors told me that my boyfriend John only had 12 percent of surviving ..Well Thank God he's recovering,after almost 50 days in ICU covid floor he finally tested negative for the virus and tthree days ago he finally woke up ..I am ecstatic I never ever gave up hope ..I trusted that God would help him and Gid is good all the time ..All the time God is good Hes still not able to walk but I'm just happy he's alive ...Dont ever give up no matter what the doctor say ..

Thank you 🙏🏻. Am happy for your boyfriend.

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