Will he be the same?

[Lulu44]

My boyfriend had a very bad motorcycle accident on November 19th 2018, unfortunately he was not wearing a helmet. When his parents found him they honestly thought he was dead, it was around 4:30 am so they just rushed him to a clinic that was not equipped with what he needed, he obviously had a TBI but his parents for some reason didn’t understand the severity of this & the doctor kept telling them his brain swelling would subside with medication. Which was obviously not at all true. They lost valuable time at that clinic. He was there for one whole day & was almost going to stay for another when his parents decises to get a second opinion & thats when they went to a neurologist & he said that they needed to get my boyfriend to his hospital because his brain was badly swollen & he was about to go brain dead. They rushed him to hospital, I unfortunately stayed behind. His sister called me later & said that they didn’t know if he would make it through the night. It was heartbreaking. Besides his brain injury, he also had 4 broken ribs & his lungs were injured as well. They started the operation that night & ended early in the morning he had a craniectomy done. He was in ICU in a Medically induced coma for 4-5 days I don’t remember exactly, after that they moved him to a room & started to slowly lower his sedation, he started to open his eyes & laughed a bit. He could talk a little but we struggled to understand him, after a couple of days he talked much better, they had to tie his hands to the bed because he tried to take the breathing tube & the feeding tube out, he did manage to take one out before. Days went by & he was discharged, he was very delirious the first week & couldn’t walk second week he was still somewhat delirious, started to walk more & started to say hurtful things to everybody & was just angry most of the time. By the third week he stopped saying hurtful things all of a sudden, he could walk perfectly but would still get angry over everything & developed anxiety. Now almost 2 months after he still needs an operation to fill in the void that his craniectomy left. On the oustide to people who don’t know him he seems the same, but to his family & I he’s obviously not. He gets irritated by every little thing & is just not completely him yet. I miss him a lot & I’m so thankful that he survived but I just really want him to be him again. Has anyone else experienced something like that? It breaks my heart to think he’ll never be the same.

[Copse77]

Dear Lulu44

It sounds like you, he and his family have faced a very traumatic situation. Which country are you in as there are specialist help and support groups and meetings here in the UK for families whose loved ones have been through intensive care environments. It seems a cruel way to treat someone by tying their hands in ICU. People can experience post traumatic shock after an experience of ICU. Best wishes to you and your family and boyfriend.

[MRANDMRSBESTY]

Hiya

Yes I'm going through the same although instead of anger it's more a very low mood and just not the same loud happy man he was before. When I say he is improving I mean very small amounts but I've been told about a year wouldn't be unusual before he improves and to be honest your loved one went through a horrific head injury where as mine had pneumonia and sepsis and was in coma for a week.

All sounds very familiar though. Constantly feeling guilty as we are not always going to be able to walk around on eggshells and we are going through our own stuff too not just the person that was in the coma. It's one of those horrible situations where patience is the only thing you can have. I snap sometimes and then feel guilty and sad. Sure they will get better hun just keep speaking to others as you will see there are plenty going through the same xxx

It's hard on them hard on us and hard all round. This is a major thing that (unless you have experienced it before) comes put the blue and doesn't subside for an awful long time xxx

[Sepsur]

Hi Lulu44

Some people can become hyperactive once out of a coma, so often the nurses place mittens or some restraint on a patient so that they don’t hurt themselves or others. Have a look at icusteps.org

There are some helpful pdfs like critical care guide. It is a surreal experience, critical care. Coming to terms with the new reality is hard for all. I was in a coma for 57 days in 2016. My family were told”EVEN if he does survive..he may well be brain damaged”.

What is at first difficult to separate & compartmentalise, is what is the short term effects of ICU & what are long term effects.

Many people leaving ICU will have experienced trauma, muscle waste, cognitive dysfunction, possible delirium and withdrawal from medication.

I struggled to contain my anger & grief at first. I still forget words & methods of achieving certain goals. I forget names & arrangements. All plans have to be logged in a diary.

Largely, I lead a normal happy life.

Don’t underestimate how long it will take to recover - 10 days for everyday in hospital.

[Copse77]

Here is a link to provide more information and help understanding of brain injury from the ICU steps

icusteps.org/assets/files/b...