Talking makes it easier

Thank you, to all the responses. Talking and sharing our experiences is such a great way of releasing the craziness that happened. I don't think I will ever forget the hallucinations, but every time I speak about them it does feel a little easier. Especially when talking to other coma patients. Talking to relatives about these events for me is difficult, as they must have gone through so much when they are looking at a body in the hospital bed. They must look at us and think how peaceful we look, yet many of us are suffering inside with our crazy hallucinations. All of us talking here today beat the coma/infections, and we are survivors.

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  • But we are survivors medically but some of us have been left mentally and physically changed and unable to talk to family or friends as they see us as better and/ or don't wish to talk about the time we were so I'll and in a come often very close to death. I feel I went into hospital as one person went through a tunnel ( my coma and illness ) and have come out someone else but I can't explain that to anyone as they don't understand. Don't know if anyone here does.

  • I suppose I'm fortunate in that I've been able to openly share with most of my family the difficulty and trauma of the experience, seen from both perspectives. It took a visit back to the ICU some months later with my wife and sister for me to appreciate and understand what they went through, seeing again the ward and the bed where I had been lying, close to death. We've all survived so much.

  • It’s been 2 months (well almost 8 weeks) since I left the hospital after 2 grade 3 Comas with a 1-2% survival rate, and I’m so frustrated. I’m p’d off that my arms and legs are still so weak, I know it takes time but I’m impatient for it all to be over. I’m still trying to deal with the Coma dreams, trying to figure out what was true and what was just a dream, trying to deal with how I should have died, all the medical staff thought I’d die, they told my family “she’ll never go home, if she survives CCU she will be taken to a hospice and die within days, a month or a year at most.” My Mother, (who’s NOT even my next of kin, my husband is) then put a Do Not Revive (DNR) on my notes, (which I found out by chance last week and took it off my notes) and the memory loss....I can’t remember most of this year, prior to both Comas. There isn’t a steps group near me, although the hospital does a CCU clinic every 2 weeks for past patients. I just want my life back to how it was before the Comas. I want to forget they ever happened, but I can’t which just adds to the frustration.

  • I understand your frustration Tessa, you have been through a terrible time. But - 2 months?! I'm afraid you will need to find some patience! You will have good days, and awful days. That's the nature of the beast. You will recover your physical strength, but probably not as fast as you would like.

    Speaking personally, I had to find a balance between pushing myself (appropriately) and being kind to myself. Everyone has to find their own balance.

    And as far as the dreams are concerned: people here often comment about theirs, and how difficult it is, looking back, to distinguish between fantasy and reality. I'm still not sure about mine, 7 years later. I try not to dwell on them (some were unpleasant) but just accept that they were just part of the whole, horrible, package. !

    Take care and look after yourself

  • Thank you. I know I need to allow myself time to heal I just wish it had never happened in the first place!

  • I know Tessa, I'd dearly like to turn the clock back, too. Perhaps your impatience is a good thing - it will give you motivation, energy, and goals to achieve!

    In time, I hope you can find a 'new normality'. Best wishes for your recovery x

  • I’m over 2 years into my recovery from urosepsis pneumonia and septic shock. Like all of you guys I too was in an induced coma in ICU. I still feel tired most of the time and have started having u nrelated nightmares. I am also on medication for anxiety. I am not the person I was before I was ill. However I am grateful to be here and have come a long way in 2 years. Hang in there and be kind to yourself x

  • Hi Ruth, sound like we are both at that same amount of time post coma. I have had counselling/therapy for 8 weeks, and it has made a significant change. I too have medication for anxiety which also helps. Realising that there are many of us with the same condition makes me feel that I am not alone. Talking to others at the ICU steps group has also lessened the inner pain. The group I go to are very upbeat and add a lot of humour to their experiences. Good luck.

  • Thankyou Richard...it means a lot to know I’m not the only one! Unfortunately there are no ICU steps groups near me as I live in the highlands but I will look into counselling to help me move forward.

  • Hi Ruth, you are definitely not the only one. My main bit of advice is not to avoid or ignore what you are going through, I did this and regret it. Be honest with yourself and try and find some local help to talk to. I wish you the best of luck.

  • Hi Ruth - hope you don't mind me commenting, but I've said before, here, that I think you need to be careful about your choice of counsellor. There are a lot of poorly trained, un-regulated people out there calling themselves counsellors.

    The ICU experience is so special (in its own dreadful kind of way) that I think one needs a very thoughtful and careful counsellor to listen to what we might want to say. eg someone who doesn't 'rush' to offer easy solutions or faux empathy.

    Personally, I did quite a lot of research before choosing a (private) counsellor. The more reputable ones will have a website setting out their qualifications, fees, and areas of expertise. A degree in Psychology is preferable, as oppose to a six week course taken at a college of further education.

    Good luck and best wishes for your continued recovery

  • Thankyou 👍

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