A "trip" into the unknown - my first attempt at posting my experience.

[paperbacsjn1]

I am a 70 yr old woman and last year I went into respiratory arrest and then cardiac arrest. My heart stopped 3 times and they performed CPR each time to bring me back. My day had started out with a short shopping trip with one of my daughters. She dropped me off at my apartment and as the day went on, I started to feel really bad. I called another daughter (an ER nurse) and she came over. She couldn't make any sense of what I was trying to tell her about how I felt. I had previously been diagnosed with COPD and CHF (congestive heart failure) and was on oxygen therapy 24/7. I insisted she take me to the hospital (just a few blocks away). When we got there, I "crashed". I do not remember anything including the activities leading up to my medical event

My family was told I might not make it. I was transferred to a larger hospital in another town and put into an induced coma for a few days. Up to this point and until I was brought out of the coma, I only know what I've been told by family and friends.

This is where the real nightmares begin. First were the hallucinations and the total confusion. I won't bore you with all of that (or maybe I will) but let me just say that I will never understand why nobody explained to me what I was experiencing. I have only recently learned that this is all very common.

I remember the wallpaper having some type of decoration that I thought was moving (like waves). One night I tried to tell the nurse that I knew she had me at her home and held captive in her garage. There was a curtain and I could see under it - there was lawn equipment - this was actually my room mate's medical equipment. The very worse was my hearing what I thought was various family members talking in the hallway. I kept yelling for them to come in to talk to me and nobody came in to tell me to be quiet or whatever. I couldn't go out of the room because there was an alarm on my bed. Why didn't anyone tell me to "shut up"?

I accused some of the nurses of hating me and being mean to me. You don't know me so you don't know that this was not normal behavior for me. I even accused them of being mean to my room mate (an elderly lady who had a stroke while she was in the hospital) and if they didn't stop, I was going to report it to her family.

All of this negativity could have been stopped if someone had taken the time to explain to me what was happening.

I know from reading other posts on this site that some of you have experienced similar incidents. Please post your story or feel free to comment on mine.

[BBDEBS]

All my experiences are on my blog, comarecoveryblog.wordpress.com. However what you've experienced is totally normal and common. For about 3 months after my coma I thought I was dead. I fought nurses and doctors physically as they tried to intubate me, I tried to pull out my central line in my neck. The nurses doctors etc all understand what the meds have done to your concept and perception and have seen it all before so please don't feel embarrassed or isolated. Your family and medical staff are just happy you're alive so forgive yourself. X

[Sepsur]

I have an pretty good idea of my inner emotional landscape. About 2/3 weeks after waking up - I had two episodes that leap out. I was hit by the acutest feeling of anxiety for about 3 hrs one day, the following day by the acutest paranoia - I thought all the nurses thought I was faking my illness ( bizarre, since, by then I had been in ICU for 70-80 days) and the were laughing at me etc..etc - they are powerful mood altering drugs that are administered. I was told that it can take 9 months to fully leave your system. To be honest, I haven't been aware of any effects since ICU. The dreams were terrible - I was very like the previous reply from Debs - after waking from coma - I couldn't sleep for 3 days. Now, life is pretty normal again.

[stevet11753]

Hi, like you I remember little of the day I was admitted to hospital. My colon had ruptured, spreading its poisonous contents around my body, and I was slipping into delirium. I recall the family being around, the paramedics coming into the house, being wheeled into the back of an ambulance, then nothing until coming out of an induced coma eleven days later. Four weeks on a ventilator, the whole time on sedation and living between the actual world and a dreamland that was just as real.

I think all of us who have been through this experience suffer PTSD to a greater or lesser degree. Six months after my hospital stay I felt a need to write down my dreams, so I made a story of them. This helped me with the healing process.

Thank you for your story, and I hope you come to terms with your own experience.

[antoinee]

I am now 73 and was in a drug (Propofol) induced coma for 4 weeks in China after developing acute pancreatitis and followed by complications like pneumonia, ARDS and MOD about 3 years ago. I was very close to dying but the doctors and my strong heart (as they say) saved my life. During the time in ICU, I had several periods of strong hallucinations inside and outside the coma (for a week). I (think I) remember everything and every detail. Afterwards I really felt sorry for some of the things I (thought I) said. But the good relationship with and support from my wife, children and grandchildren made me realize all this was never intended and so it did not matter to them. Then it did not matter anymore to me either and all worries disappeared after a short time

hope this helps