Unusual story or not? from a newb

[Beckh]

This is a long story but I will try and be brief as much as possible whilst giving the important info. I have done much searching to answer my questions but have yet to find answers and probably never will but Im looking for people who have had a similar experience and this is the difficult part.

October 2000 I fell seriously ill after an allergic reaction. I was in intensive care for 3 months to the beginning of January 2001. Like many others, during that time I experienced delirium and some horrific hallucinations and some which I can still laugh at. Its the horrific which still trouble me now, 12-13 years later.

In these hallucinations I was absolutely convinced that an old friend of mine who I had not seen for years had been hit by a taxi (this is important) and was in the bed opposite me with a full head bandage on. Throughout the whole of my awakened time I was convinced of this and no amount of talking by my family would change my mind. I even envisaged the local paper having his picture on the front page. The hallucinations did not stop when I left ICU and continued about a week or so until I got home and I saw his mum who said he was fine.

About two weeks after I left hospital we had a phonecall from my friends mum who said he had been waiting for a taxi outside a nightclub, got into a fight and was in intensive care with head injuries, he died that day.

Naturally I was horrified by this and a lot of detail was seen which makes me concerned - is it all just stupid nonsense and weird coincidence or not? I have never forgiven myself for telling his mum prior to this happening, it wasnt my fault, I was ill, I just wish it had not been. Out of embarrassment I stopped being in contact with her for 3 years after that.

Thing is I still suffer with this today, 13 years on. 2-3 times a week I have nightmares of being in intensive care. Also the bout in ICU has affected me physically. I have short term memory problems, bad concentration, sometimes I cannot speak properly and get my words out and other issues. My GP has done a brain scan which shows no real damage or explanation so she puts it down to my time in ICU.

I think here I have two questions

1) has there ever been any cases before of patients possibly foreseeing events that had yet to happen?

2) Should my memory, speaking, concentration have improved by now, being so long since it happened?

a sneaky question 3) I have since developed painful fibromyalgia, been ongoing since 5 years or so - could this be related? Fibromyalgia is reported to often come after a trauma to the body. But there was a gap of 7 years.

Finally, in ICU I had no-one to talk to - my only friend was the red and yellow sharps bin who I talked to. Crazy

[Beckh]

Ive been emailed a response but I cannot see the response on this page. Clicking the link for "see response" in the email takes me to my post only and not the response. Please advise.

[Offcut]

Hi In my case in answer to your questions.

1) I foresaw a thunderball ticket that I bought before I went into ICU and it was a winner of £500,000 now at that time it was £250,000 I was so convinced that I still looked in the jacket it was in once I could walk again and at home. So fingers still crossed 5 years later.

2) I was told by someone but cannot remember who that once 6 months have passed after release your memory is as good as it gets. I was forgetting why I went to a room once I got there. I write things down now as my short term memory is not so good. I did watch a TV programme which said that if you forgot what you wanted in another room think back to the room you came from. Your brain is looking at ways to save space.

3) I have arthritis and the pain to go with it in my feet, knees, spine, neck and shoulder. I had extreme headaches and was given neck exercises which improved my headaches but made my neck and shoulder hurt more.

4) I had another life going on as well as what was happening in the real world but sometimes I was unsure which one I was in

With regards to your bad dreams try to go to a place that takes your mind away from the nightmares. I know this may sound a touch strange but I try to think of penguins on clouds? I can only think that it is so far away from what is happening in the dreams it breaks its cycle.

You are not alone as I am sure you will see as you look though this great site we have all had something similar

[Beckh in reply to Offcut]

Hi offcut

Thanks for the great reply. Think you are right about the memory not improving anymore and it probably is as good as it gets. Having the fibromyalgia bad memory too gives me double the dose but its manageable as long as it doesn't worsen then I can deal with it.

I think the problems with the dreams is that quite often they do represent memories so it would be difficult to control them, I once thought I could lucid dream but sadly that faded away as that would be a good tool.

What were the lottery numbers please?

[Offcut in reply to Beckh]

I wish I knew

[Luckyone]

Unfortunately many of us suffered from these terrible nightmares and hallucinations while in ICU, In one nightmare I thought I had done a deal with the grim reaper swapping my life for my wife's parents, even though in my nightmare my father-in-law said "sorry you're on your own there" sadly he died suddenly 3 days after I was moved to a general ward, was it a coincidence? I guess it's something I'll never know, but 3 years on I still feel guilty.

I to suffer from memory problems, I had some tests done with a clinical psychologist who found my processing speed very low and it's that that causes the problems in short term memory loss along with being distracted by background noise.

I'm now been left with post ARDS pulmonary fibrosis, but I consider I was one of the lucky ones, I spent 3 months in ICU, the first seven & half I have no memory of, from what I read in the diary my wife kept, it's amazing that I survived at all, maybe that deal was real?

[Beckh in reply to Luckyone]

Wow Luckyone, I guess you really are the lucky one. I think I am lucky too as I found someone else with possibly the same issue. Its taken me 12 years to find someone.

Your are right of course we will never know and perhaps it is something I should stop torturing myself about as not only can it be proven, it cannot be changed.

I could seek to change my attitude of what happened but obviously the other long term effects are more difficult.

[Luckyone in reply to Beckh]

That's the good thing about this community, knowing others have been through a similar experience, I looked for answers but drew a blank, even the psychologist I was referred to had no answer, I found getting involved with a local ex-patient ICU support group has helped me realize helping others come to terms with the trauma they have been through is the best therapy, hopefully finally finding some closure to the psychological damage, unfortunately the physical problems are harder to fix, but we've been given a second chance of life which is the best gift of all.

Best wishes for the future