But I don't Look Sick!

I know many have written on here how they deal with friends and relatives who either don't believe them or don't understand their conditions.

I came across this article today which I thought was a fantastic way of describing to somebody how you cope with daily life. It was written by a lady with Lupus who used spoons as the analogy of choices she had to make every day and was a very powerful way of getting across to her friend the choices she had to make to get through each day.

I hope it helps some of you when you are seeing your friends and family over this holiday period and you have enough spoons to cope!


7 Replies

  • fantastic

  • My daughter, Cathi, who told me about the excellent "spoon theory", has also added that one needs the RIGHT KIND OF SPOONS! Often she or I have a bit of eenergy available "a spoon spare" but it isn't physicl energy if that's needed or mental energy if it is a "thinking" task we have to do. Then the "spoon" is still no use! We find the whole spoon analogy an excellent way to describe things to others! Hope others find it helpful too. Happy Christmas to everyone, and wishes for good health in 2012 to all. Julie99

  • Thats a good idea Julie. I like the right kind of spoons!

  • I really loved reading that. People look at me and well, I look perfectly normal, so its hard to explain all the aches and pains and how doing just one thing can have a knock on effect on tomorrow and the day after etc. This is a great way to explain how the condition can affect our lives and i'll be sure to save this and show it to people who ask about my health. Thanks so much for bringing it to my attention!

  • well thank goodness I am not the only one - many a time people say "your looking well" and quite truthfully I feel dreadful to say the least, but I just do not say anything. Even the Haematologist locally say that I have a smile on my face despite all my medical conditions, so when I am bad, then I don't seem to get believed!!!

  • I read this a couple of weeks ago and it had me in tears because everything in it rings true, I get the "you look really well" even from the Drs as someone else has said and I think that either they just say that or yes I do look well, but is that down to the fact that I smile (as daisy11 has sais above). I think smiles and being nice to people not grumpy and moody make us appear to be well and it's not that I want to look ill but somedays when you feel that it is so hard to even put one foot in front of the other and then someone says you look really well, I think inside we all scream a little bit.

    But hears to continuing to looking well smiling and enjoying life. I wish everyone a happy and peaceful Christmas.

    with love louise

  • Next time somebody says how well I look I am going to say "I have some extra spoons in reserve today" and laugh, just to see what reaction I get!

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