We adopted out 12 yr old daughter when she was three. She was very easily angered, and would scream and kick and spit and it would take nearly and hour for her to gain control of her emotions. The things that angered her were often the loss of control she felt she needed. Ex: being told no, or losing her things, or being told to sit when she wanted to stand. SHe has always struggled with being over bossy and aggressive with people but especially peers. The social rules that we all teach our kids have never sunk in with her( saying please, looking at people in the eyes, responding to a question, being aware of space, understanding how things affect others). She was diagnosed with ADHD and school was not her friend. HOme work is a nightmare and she has been known to push a child in a wheelchair. She is disorganized and a borderline hoarder. I once found 23 bags of goldfish crackers in her book bag and don't get me started on her room. Even now she seeks things to add to her room. ( rocks, toys, balloons etc.).
Fast forward to now. SHe has no friends, the few she connects with on social media lie to her and trick her or manipulate her on a regular basis. She wants friends so bad and she's very forgiving with these friends. She seeks younger kids in a social setting. She obsesses with random things for a short period of time ( last night she cut like 40 paper masks ) She argues about everything and everything is a competition. She cannot "lose" and anything , getting in the car, getting in the bed, picking the most blueberries, having the most juice, etc) these behaviors have gotten so much more pronounced and now she has reached prepubertal. She claims to have all these friends but in reality there are none. It breaks my heart !
Any input would be appreciated!