Hi. we moved in February and my son started a new school that's a lot smaller then his old one. there is only 60 children in the hole school so small classes. After a few weeks there we were pulled in with a meeting as his teachers and head teacher were worried and were trying to imply that my son had ADHD so I went to the doctors straight away and told them and got a referral to see someone who could look In to what the school were saying as I didn't believe them tbh. I took my 5 year old son yesterday to see the woman who we were referred to and was in there from 12 till 2. we went through everything from me being pregnant with him all through till present day. After going through everything what my self had told her and what had happened at school and seeing him the doctor said she was nearly 90% sure my son has Autism Spectrum Disorder and may have ADHD but we have to see others first before she can give us a proper diagnoses and plans for him to be seen by MAAT assessments, speech and language therapist and a specialist Advisory Teacher..
To say I was shocked being told this was an understatement. I had aways put my sons little habits and quirks and him preferring to play and liking his own company down to the fact he was an only child and spent more time round adults and the problems that school was having down to the fact it was a new school and he had not settled in because at home he's a happy little boy.
now its starting to settle in what we have been told I feel like I should have spotted there was a problem myself and feel like I've failed him.
now we know there could be a problem we want to help him anyway we can the doctor has said about making him a Calm Box for when he gets upset as he probably wont understand why he's upset only that he's mad. so he can calm down and then talk to him about it.
teaching him relaxation and breathing exercise's and doing a home/school diary so we know everything that's going on at school and at home so we can all work together to make things better for him.
I was wondering if anyone can suggest anything els we can do to make things easyer for him?
and what kind of things is a good idea to put in a calm box for him?
Any advice on best to approach all of this and any advice on ASD in general would be great.
thank you for taking time to read this. Thanks.
Written by
atkinsonaskew
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There is such an appaling lack of understanding throughout the NHS and Education System of Autism Spectrum it's shocking. My boys were not diagnosed till 17 and 18 and it's still ongoing.
On the positive side he is young . It's sounds as though you have a good team spotting the issues and the co Morbid like Dyslexia . Look on the British Dyslexia site for other issues and there is also Irlen Syndrome.
Look through my previous posts all the links are there. It's putting all the pieces together and finding all the issues. The common issues missed in AS are picky eating, sleep issues, naughty twos, missing the anxiety issues.
The main thing to reduce is the anxiety at school. He has to be taught with Autisic methods. They could try ear defenders to reduce the noise, stress balls . There's loads of information on my previous posts about homework.
If you can reduce anxiety at school then the pressure cooker effect once he gets home will be reduced. You will learn to watch by tone of voice and behaviour for an ancoming meltdown. IYou could try black out tents, a den for home . PlanetAutism on her blog page has some really interesting fact info sheets.
Read up on Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome. PDA . I am battling to get my boys dagnosed with this as well as Asbergers , one had ADHD now has ADD. This was not diagnosed till 17. The school said he was lazy and winging it and had never referred him.
For the actual assesment go back to grandparents, see if any presented with issues on the co Morbid scale , e.g. Epilepsy, Tourette's, Dyslexia etc. Test yourself for Dyslexia , it's often unrecognised, I never realised I had it until my boys were being tested.
Mega important keep a diary yourself of who you have spoken to, keep all paperwork and a record of events.
You will find support groups online and locally. You will find more information and ideas from parents than anyone. It's learning what works for your child.
We all go through emotions thinking why did I not spot this? Sounds like you have picked a good school.
Autism is a diagnosis, but it still has a big scale and depends on the individual person as to the triggers of distress for them. My Grandaughter loves vibration so anything like this will calm her down, a massager, even a toothbrush will work! She doesn't need ear defenders but some do if they get stressed with noise. Does your son like to chew his clothes? There are some good gadgets on the market but do shop around as they can vary in price. Different materials that have textures, squeeze balls, bubbles all of these could go into a calm box but only if they are what your son would relate to. School will be able to help you with this too and they can tell you what they find helps him in the classroom.
Sitting in a dark room with sensory lights may also help calmness.
You could spend a fortune on all these things, so do look beforehand what is right for your son.
NAS have some great ideas and are at the end of the phone to help with a guiding hand.
All the diagnosis, autism, ADHD, sensory processing and many more can overlap each other but it doesn't mean your son has them all. He may have one main difficulty with traits of the others.
I hope this helps a little, good luck in making your calm box. X
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