Hoffmann Foundation for Autism
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Hi, my 13 year old son is finally being assessed for autism. He's had such a difficult few years at school, and I'm so glad that his needs are now starting to be acknowledged. Through this whole process with my son, my husband and I have had many conversations about the problems that it has caused him, and the numerous difficulties that he faces still. What has surprised me the most though, is my husband saying that he had many of the same experiences as our son, and has said many times, "well I feel like that to!" He was bullied at school for being different, and for as long as I have known him, has been socially awkward. We have talked about the fact that he might be on the spectrum as well, to which he agreed. I know some of you may be thinking that you can't diagnose somebody so easily, and obviously I know that, but there are numerous other things that my husband does (too many to mention here) that has made me think it is a definite possibility. For me, it explains so much! My question is, how can we find out about him getting diagnosed (only because we feel it might be beneficial, as he still finds so many things difficult, and work is a constant place of anxiety and stress for him.) Also, for myself, as a mum and wife, is there anywhere that I can get support? Have felt recently that I need it. Have 3 other children as well.

2 Replies

It's really easy go to your GP and tell him you suspect you have Asbergers, your son has been referred to CAMHS for assesment. Adult services normally are quicker, they don't have to do classroom assesments.

It's very common to find other members of the family with AS or associated issues like Epilepsy, Dyslexia, dyspraxia, Tourette's etc. Work back to grandparents. Everyone is on the Spectrum .

Once your husband is diagnosed Charities like Autism Iniative are great. They have all sorts of classes to explain and help. You can apply for PIP but it's best you get help with the paperwork, you can apply without the diagnosis but that's up to you.

I sincerely hope your school is supportive, my boys school was shocking, . Make sure they also test for dyslexia.

You could ask for a Social Worker, depends on what's available , funding cut backs are massive

If you are exhausted in some cases they offer respite , sometimes take young people with AS to outward bound trips . Autism Iniative do that if they have funding. Helps the young person make friends as well.

Anxiety is the main issue for AS. Your doctor could try mild antidepressants for your husband or if you don't want to use drugs Vitamin B6 and magnesium are worth trying. Take about three weeks to kick in. You could try those as well. I know some people rave about Ritalin , but, it's got so many side affects and that's more for ADHD . It's a case of diagnosing one part and once you get the hang of the issues work from there, a lot of the issues overlap like ADD, dyslexia, the issues can be the same.

Look at my other posts. You can see what has been worked out by myself. Suggested books to read . Other websites to look at , blogs, etc. Most so called proffesionals don't have a good understanding . Every case on the Spectrum is unique to that person. It's like a fingerprint.

It's not easy , some days I just want to throw the towel in and walk away , I have to put myself in my boys shoes and look how amazingly brave they are. Don't forget it's not what they can't do, it's what they can.

One of my children I was absolutely devasted to get the diagnosis but the other it was a total relief. For me it explained why I had so many issues over the years. There is also the issue of being a Carer yourself. Look online for local support groups. You should be able to join those without the diagnosis but unfortunately it's the same old words, you need the diagnosis to claim.

Good Luck.Hope this helps.


Hi rachd43,

Sorry for the very late reply, just seen this. Thought your husband might like to try the AQ test I've recently posted:


I was the same as your husband. I started an Open University course to learn more about my son's autism and spent most of my study time saying, "that's me!....that's me as well!!!"

Hope it helps, and best of luck with your son's diagnosis.


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