Hoffmann Foundation for Autism
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Is my husband autistic?

Hi all,

I'd been reading the posts about this situation and I see some similiarities with my husband. He communicates really well, he is very attentive and loving and he takes charge of almost everything, he is adorable in most situations. The issues I see is that sometimes when he gets angry he is not able to apologize or recognize any wrong doing in his behaviour, I dont understand why he is so stubborn. Also, he doesn't have any friends and he doesn't care about meeting new people and making friends. When we meet friends or family he behaves well and he is quite funny, the only thing is that he doesnt stand that situation for a long time. He is very suspicious about people in general, thinking negative about people intentions in most cases. He had a previous partner with whom he had a son. The son is autistic, but he blames his ex (as he says she has another autistic in her family). Another thing I know is that when he was a child he had a problem with stuttering and he had been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. For the rest, he is a successful professional and he seems very aware emotionally (which I know its contradictory with being autistic). I am confused , I think there is something wrong in his attitude somtimes or maybe I just being a bit paranoid. I just would like to know what is your opinion in the case. Many thanks!

2 Replies

Hi ciceron,

I'm not a professional and don't know your husband personally therefore can only go by your description. It doesn't sound as though he is on the spectrum, you say he has a diagnosis of ADD, this is more likely to fit the description you give. We are all different and life experiences as we grow up can make us the people we are today. You sound happy and as though everything is ok apart from his attitude? His attitude is part of his opinion, not everyone likes to have lots of people about its ok to enjoy your own company sometimes. Some people love to socialise while others don't, maybe your a socialiser while he prefers his own company. If he doesn't mind you going out with friends on your own then that may help your solution.

He can't apologise or see his wrong? Well in his mind he's not wrong so why does he need to apologise, as frustrating as it is, it might be better for you to just accept his wrong and not bother to point it out to him, as you say most of the time he's great, just carry on knowing in your mind your right, he's wrong.

I hope this doesn't sound patronising as I don't mean too and I wish you all the best for the future.

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