I have been unable to sleep for the past 3 days, i'm scared to sleep because of nightmares i am having and i keep thinking about hurting myself when i am awake. I am struggling to keep things in my head straight. I have been signed off of work with depression and am currently taking citalopram 10mg and have been on this for around 6 weeks. For the first 3 weeks i had severe anxiety which caused me to have panic attacks for the next week and a half to 2 weeks everything seemed to be okay and i was feeling happy. But for i think the last week and a half to 2 weeks my mood has been dropping and this weekend just passed i've not been able to hold in or hide things i've stayed away from people as much as i can and this morning i sat in my flat while my friend sat out side waiting for me to help him with some work. I have been in tears on and off most of the weekend and thought about suicide over the past couple of weeks. I have a very logical mind and can't make any sense of anything lately which is very distressing, each time i think about hurting myself i sit and logically weigh up everything but as time passes and i feel worse i'm finding it much harder to do this and feel like i am losing my mind. I spent most of last night and this morning researching how best to hurt myself on google and came accross a site that listed all ways known and their statistical liklihood of success. the reason i stopped and looked for help was a passage that the site author wrote about not taking the suicide path. I need help and soon but do not know what to do or where to start. I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome a year ago.
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