Hello and welcome to my life

Hello there and welcome to my blog.

So this is new to me, I haven't done a blog for years and certainly not about my family and personal life before.

A little bit about me; I'm 30 and live in a reasonably normal area of the UK, pretty average in every way. I have a partner, we'll call him Sam, and two daughters, Molliie and Alys (aged 6 and 15 months). This is mostly going to be mine and Mollie's story.

See I thought I'd write on here to share and maybe get some insight upon my day to day life as well as maybe be able to offer suggestions and information to other parents in similar situations.

I became a parent roughly six years go to the most beautiful, interesting, clever, funny, bouncy and individual little girl, her name is Mollie.

Mollie had alwyas been a fighter, she has had the most challenging and audacious girl from day one. Theres a whole story to her birth and early years but I'll go into that another time.

So the way things are now is that Mollie has an ASD diagnosis (since she was three) as well as diagnosis for Sensory Processing Disorder and Developmental Co-Ordination Disorder. She goes to a really good S.E.N school but I can honestly say that even with all their training/exerience the teachers still don't seem to fully "get her" ( she's been there for almost two years now)

Life with Mollie is full of ups and downs. Mollie can be so exuburant, so brilliant, so witty, and so loving. But, there is a total flipside to this. Mollie can also be wilful, stubborn, very loud, extreme, and a complete handfull.

To give you an idea of how amazing but also how difficult Mollie can be, here are two short anecdotes that are pretty tyipical of a day with Mollie, personally I think they show Mollie when she totally on form and when she's struggling. (If you choose to post response please do be aware that we are real people, with real feelings, and we don't always get it right because we're not perfect!

So, Mollie has sensitivities to about a million different things, right across the sensory checklist (vision, hearing, smell etc) and over recent months her "self injurous" (really dislike this term) behaviours have become more pronounced. Basically Mollie operates at high anxiety and stress levels almost continually due to her sensory issues,which in turn causes numerous extreme bahviour "episodes".

An everyday example of this is getting ready for school five days a week. Mollie struggles with everything about her school life (even being in a place of education that is specifically tailored for children with A.S.D) and every morning she has a reason as to why she shouldn't go to school that day (everything from the standard "I'm poorly", to the more unusual "there is yellow police tape saying 'Do Not Cross".

Anyways, Mollie hates everything from breakfast, to getting dressed, washed, toilet, hair brushed, basically the whole school routine. She wants to play, to read, to watch her favourite T.V/films. She most definatly does not want to go to school!

The whole mornng (which can frequently start in the middle of the night) is a battle. There are tears, screaming, shouting, Mollie punching, slapping, generally hurting herself in anyway she can in order to express her anger, stress and anxiety at the day ahead of her.

Frankly it breaks my heart. I do my best to be her stregnth, her rock I and its my job to get her calm and stable fors school each day. Truthfully, its hard, harder then I could have anticipated my life as a parent to be.

However there are many instances were Mollie goes far beyond the "normal" expectations of a child of here age, and she also shows the warmest and most creative personality, with a streak of independence and honesty that many an adult would envy.

For example, Mollie can read. I don't just mean basic story books with minimal words and plot. I mean searching out new literature (generally classed as being aimed atolder children) and reading it aloud,acting out the charecters, really engaging with her audience, whether it be toys, me, her younger sister, cousins etc.

She is also brutally honest with people, an admirable trait but also inconvienient deending on the situation. However, the crystal clear clarity with which she views the world is one that I envy

Her literal (rather than figurative) understanding of sayings such as "cry my eyes out" and "burning rubber" are hysterically funny in the way she describes she see's it.

Anyway I feel as though I have just rambled on a bit so I'm sorry if this is not a good start to a bog but it felt like the best way to just introduce you to just a piece of mine and Mollie's life. I hope to write more of our past and present story, and I will be delighted to share our story with anyone who feels they can relate or take any inspiration or information from what I post.

2 Replies

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  • Mollie sounds A LOT like a young me! I used to do everything to avoid going to school, I hated it. Sadly during the 90's my ASD was not picked up on so I suffered quite badly throughout my childhood/teens and had to attend mainstream school. Before the bullying became a factor in my teens, the reason I was frightened of school was because it was not my 'safe place'. For me, my house was my safe place, familiar sights, smells etc. Somewhere quiet to go that was mine (my room) was very important to me. School was not mine, small things would change daily (sometimes things that no one else would notice), there was not a safe place for me and I was scared of having a panic attack and losing control while there. Don't feel bad about anything you do for your daughter, just as I could not tell my Mum what was best for me, I expect your daughter can't tell you what is best for her. She will one day appreciate everything you do for her now though as I do with my Mum.

  • Hello, it can be an interesting/challenging life at times can't it?

    I'm a 34yr old mum with Aspergers myself, my husband, my 3yr old Autistic daughter & my 20mth old daughter. There are times I can relate to my 3yr old & other times I really struggle with her lack of communication skills as she pushes/pulls & gestures her arms to try & get her message across. I sometimes have her in floods of tears getting ready for nursery only for her to enter her class perfectly happy as if none of the tantrums had taken place at all. She is typically a lovely affectionate girl but there are times I wish we could communicate more easily.

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