First Time Intercourse while suffering from PCOD

[Kachi1211]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years and are madly in love with each other. We wish to have sex now and it will be a first time for both of us... Only thing which is stopping us is that i have PCOD and currently being treated for it. My boyfriend is worried if it will affect my health in any way that my gynecologist will get to know and also we are concerned that can my gynecologist get to know that i am no longer a virgin when she will performs ultrasound or pelvic checks or by any other means???

[Trekkiemaiden]

It's none of her business if you are or aren't a virgin. Having sex won't affect your condition - if you had a good relationship with your gyny and trust her, this is something you should have both talked about already and she should have explained to you. Is this some religious taboo you are worried about? Having sex is a biggy for you but it's really no one else's business. Make sure you take precautions and enjoy!. Why don't you google your condition - it affects conception. Diet can help - avoiding sugar and starchy foods - eat real foods. Good luck

[johnsmith]

It will be a good idea to mention your issues with the gynecologist. They have access to information that you may not know exists. Sex is an embarrassing subject. So having access to information that a gynecologist could provide may improve your first experience with your boyfriend.

[park_bear]

Do you live in a country where it would be dangerous for you to be known to be having sex outside of marriage? If so, yes, your gynecologist would be able to tell you were no longer a virgin.

[SunnySmiles22]

That's great you are being sensible and talking about when the right time is for you to move to the next stage in your relationship, well done both of you.

If you are over the age of consent, ie in the UK both of you have to be older than 16. If you are not then it is a criminal offence and it would be sensible for you to wait until you are both that old to go any further so neither of you gets into trouble with the law. You could also be in trouble if one of you is a teacher and one their pupil, etc, it has to be two adults who know what they are doing and both agreeing to it. Its an adult choice.

Having sex with someone carries a risk of pregnancy. There is nothing that is 100% guaranteed to ensure you do not fall pregnant. Even the first and only time you have sex using contraception you can fall pregnant (that happened to my friend at a party, she fell pregnant the one and only time she had sex and she has a son now, her mum totally freaked out).

Condoms are 99% effective when used carefully and properly, ie one woman in every hundred women using them falls unexpectedly pregnant. I note you did not mention contraception, so make sure you find out about that. If you don't want to ask a gyno about stuff, how is one of you going to manage to get condoms, surely someone will see you at the shops buying them or one of you will have to ask the GP or clinic for them free? The ones in toilets for sale in machines are expensive! You really need to use condoms, so make sure you say no unless you do get them, never take a risk with your health, even if it is a first time, get in the habit of using them. I believe non sexual diseases such as hepatitis from a blood transfusion or tattoo can be passed from virgin to virgin though bodily fluids, don't risk it. I don't know all the facts on this, you would have to google though.

So, to recap, you may wish to think about unexpected pregnancy, as, if you don't want anyone to know you are having sex, they will find out if you do accidentally fall pregnant and have a baby or have to ask for a morning after pill (promptly and pray it works, it doesn't always)! Having said that, its likely that you will not, but its still possible. Hormones can make women horny at times they are most likely to get pregnant, not a good combination if you want to avoid pregnancy! Read up about contraception and how a woman's monthly cycle works and what contraception methods you can use with your condition. Some hormonal ones may not be suitable. I don't know if the medicine you will be treated with may make you more or less likely to get pregnant.

So why don't you want your gyno to know you are having sex? If its not because one of you is under 16 then perhaps its cultural, ie you don't want anyone to know because you are supposed to keep yourself pure until marriage? That's something that only you can decide. Its your life, not your parents or your religious leader's life, Yours! But if you want to refrain from sex until marriage for whatever reason then that should be respected.

Your UK NHS gyno shouldn't tell anyone anything about you, its all confidential. If she told anyone, even your mum, she could be dismissed from her job. If you want to make sure she wont talk (and she is an NHS doctor, as I cant say the same if she is a local herbalist or something not NHS) tell her that you want to talk confidentially and NOBODY is to know what you talk about ever. She should then confirm that will be the case and nobody will hear from her.

She will know if you have had anything inside you as the skin stretches and sometimes tears a tiny bit the first time, so if you don't want her to know, you have to refrain from sex until after your treatment has finished or until your culture or beliefs allow you to do such things with your boyfriend. They sometimes use a very thin pencil type thing inside you connected to the computer to scan you in an ultrasound from inside of you, as well as the one outside of you on your tummy with the jelly stuff that you have to drink lots of water in the waiting room for, so they can see your insides better.

Having sex is about making adult decisions and taking responsibility for them. If you aren't sure about that, perhaps you should consider whether or not you are ready. Your first time shouldn't be filled with worry or and regret until your period comes. And I'm sure it wont be if you make sure you have sex when you are both ready and if you use a condom to prevent diseases (get into the habit of it from day one) and perhaps another form of contraception to make sure you don't get pregnant.

Good luck with all your choices and live a happy and healthy life

[MalMonroe]

Hi! My advice would be if you want to (and, of course, if you are old enough!)(Sorry but you don't say) then go ahead - using condoms, naturally. Whether or not you are a virgin is really is nothing to do with your gynaecologist (British spelling as I'm British) - or anyone else for that matter. As a woman, I'm sorry to see people like John Smith saying "they have access to information that you may not know exists. Sex is an embarrassing subject." Doctors should share information with you, if indeed they have any information that you don't know about, and I don't think sex should be embarrassing in this day and age. Just do what feels right and natural for you and your boyfriend. I'm sure you'll be fine, but do use condoms as they're not just for contraception but they do help to prevent any infection. Good luck!