Hi friends

Latest about my neice ...wel she went to see her dietician who sent her straight to her gp who sent her straight to the hospital where she was admitted 😞...she's staying there with someone constantly with her. She won't eat unless she's forced to buy her mum and even then she almost cries saying that's enough mum...it was heartbreaking to see that when I went to visit today. She will b kept in until they find a place for her in a mental health treatment centre...eating problems. She has been put as a priority patient. While visiting her I was being all normal and chatty and she was doing the same but I could tell she was just feeling restless n fidgety...it's heartbreaking to see

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry SID123, this sounds heartbreaking to me, so it must be very hard for her and her family.

At least your niece is being cared for and I wish her and her family well.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes Jerry you're right it is very hard for them all.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It's hard for all of you SID that are emotionally involved, so I included you in 'family'

Jerry 😊

[Activity2004 Administrator]

Hi Hidden ,

I’m so sorry. It’s hard when a family and/or friend is going through an issue like this. I know you and your family are doing the right thing (I know it’s hard right now) and I know your Niece will thank you and everyone else after she understands why it’s being done. Give her time. You can always talk to us anytime about anything that you want to tell us. We’ll be here for you.😀 Get some rest.

[Agoodenough]

This is very sad. I’m glad everything is now out in the open and she and her family can now receive the help they need. (I knew a girl who went through a similar thing and she is fine and healthy now). Take care. Ali

[Hidden in reply to Agoodenough]

Yes we're all so glad it's out in the open now Agoodenough. And she herself feels the same

[Zest]

Hi Hidden

Wishing you and your family, and especially your niece the best.

Zest

[Hidden in reply to Zest]

Thankyou Zest 🙂

[HOBIEONE]

Hi Sid. I am really sorry to read. Big stress for whole family. My mother & me have had so many fights because I would NOT eat. 50 grams of carbs every meal time, that's 3 slices of bread every meal or I did I drank Milk. 6 pints a day. Strong Bones & Teeth. I used to play Rugby, Motor cross riding & never broke any bones till my Rib when 28 when got hit by a Jet-Ski. Really GOOD luck !

[Hidden in reply to HOBIEONE]

You were lucky the family were able to cope with your eating problem. What if you had rejected the food because you had a food intolerance - and felt something was upsetting you? Pretty good to have recovered from being hit by a jet ski- this can happen as bays are not supervised and many boats come in beyond the buoy markers, when people are swimming. There have been cases of decapitation. Never mentioned in the news - not good for tourism.

[Cooper27 Administrator]

It must be really tough. It will take a big shift for her mum too, I know it's hard to watch someone suffer when the solution seems so simple, but her mum mustn't try to force her into eating. It will just reinforce her negative association with food.

I hope a spot becomes available soon, and that they'll spend some time helping the family to adapt.

[Kitten-whiskers Administrator Vegan star]

So sorry SID123, its so very heartbreaking. I am glad she is recieving help. I knew a girl who was in a simillar situation and now she is fine after getting the help

My thoughts are with you all

Take care

Debs

[Hidden]

It is such a terrible thing for a dietician to refer a child to a strange mental health facility away from her mum. Had it been a psychiatrist, I could understand. I think the parent has been undermined, and has put an element of blame on the parent for an eating difficulty. I would complain to the GP over this referral, as it does not seem to be usual. The GP usually knows the parent and can assess if anxiety is from other reasons such as bullying at school or a teacher who has shouted at a child. I do hope your niece does not experience separation anxiety.

[Cooper27 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

The post says that the dietician referred her back to her GP, not to the hospital, and that was completely the right thing to do. And I think it's important to be referred to a specialist eating disorder clinic in these cases, as opposed to leaving them in the the setting that allowed the problems to develop.

[Hidden in reply to Cooper27]

Whether the nutritionist referred the child back to the GP, the hidden letter sent to the doctor may have referred the parent being to blame for the eating disorder. The child should have been screened by a psychologist for an anxiety related problem and if she was young should have been referred for special parent and child therapy, where mother was near by rather than being transferred to a mental health unit without her mother being present or nearby to reassure her. It can be traumatising and with an eating disorder it can lead to fear and anxiety additional to that related with the problem. The referral from a nutritionist for a mental health problem should have been through a psychologist rather than a nutritionist.

I am questioning the route of referral where the key mental health were not consulted in an informal environment to help the child.

[Cooper27 Administrator in reply to Hidden]

We don't know the full story of how the referral happened here, so we may very well be jumping to conclusions. All we know is that the dietician referred to the GP, and the GP followed whatever route they felt appropriate. Whether there was a hidden letter or not, a GP doesn't have to act on the dieticians recommendations.

[Hidden in reply to Cooper27]

Yes that is the trouble - with filling in gaps. In our area if a child has a psychological problem, the GP will probably refer a child if they are under a certain age for psycho and family therapy. It is common for children to use food withdrawal to control their parents. Parents over react when the child says they won't eat. Have found that young children eat quite well with informal finger foods, which are put out for them. The rigid meal at the table with table manners may not work.

How hilarious it is for parents when a young child 18months throws his mashed potato at mum or dad. If they laugh the kid will do it again. If they ignore it then the child is not getting the attention response they are seeking. Parenting classes might be more appropriate than putting children in mental health units, using out of date methods of treatment.

I don't know about other areas but it would seem logical that the doctor would refer the child to a psychologist for therapy rather than to a unit.

If you had a hammer toe would you be referred to a nutritionist?

[Hidden in reply to Cooper27]

Yes Cooper the dietician referred her to the gp. And the gp did what was the only thing that could be done and I think he was right to do so

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It's not just the dietician its a normal thing they do to all those that have this problem. There is no other solution

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Things must be different in your country or region. Think it is best to find the answer to the food related problem, from parenting advice given by psychologists who can see why the child is rejecting food. If there was better links with non critical assessment

guides then the situation would be controlled before it got out of hand. Expect your niece will improve with help and wish her all the best and also your sister who might be on a guilt trip and feels she is to blame. Sometimes intervention can damage the parent and child relationship later on and parents feel they are poor parents.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your wishing her all the best but no my sister isn't on a guilt trip even the slightest feeling she's to blame. And if anything is brought the mother and daughter closer

[Vacyone]

I also agree with hawii60 , but, if child has mental problems she may need sharp tactics that the centre could offer. I work with young womem who lives to eat not eats to live, it's so sad to see.

[Hidden in reply to Vacyone]

Hi Vacyone so in your opinion the centre would be the best place for her to be? And I found it quite interesting how u said you work with those people...what exactly does that mean or include