Helping a relative . . .

[Irranath]

I guess I'm looking for advice from anyone who possibly has a success story to help with this.

My mother has been gaining weight for years. Not sure of her exact weight right now but she's around the 22-25 stone mark. Her knees are suffering and requires knee replacement surgery but can't because she's too high risk because of her weight. Vicious cycle.

She can't even go the toilet without being in pain. She does have injections that helps relieve the pain but they are starting to become ineffective. She struggles with exercise due to pain in her knees and wrists.

She does have emotional problems which she just doesn't deal with. I found out a little while ago she has been on anti depressants for 30+ years!!! I'm furious that a doctor would prescribe this for so long.

She won't pursue counselling and doesn't really acknowledge her problems.

Her eating addiction and refusal to change old habits is killing her slowly and is hurting the people who care about her.

Her whole life in dealing with things is to 'avoid' and never deals with anything. Just gives up.

Given how long she's been heavily over weight and struggling I don't know how she's alive. She successfully quit smoking 10 years ago after 45 years of smoking 20 a day. We try and ride off the positive of that to encourage her but it appears her addiction to unhealthy eating habits is stronger than the smoking habits she used to have.

I know it's common to gain weight after smoking but she just won't take control of it.

Everyone has different issues I know, but if anyone has been through this or knows someone who has and has any advice, I would be grateful.

Thanks in advance x

[sparky66]

So sorry to read this it must be very painful for you to watch .. can I ask if you live with your mum? If so maybe it's possible for you to cook some of her meals..heathy ingredients and little by little she may lose some weight..getting her to understand her weight is the cause of most of her pain might go some way to helping..also I suffered from long term back pain.. untill i started some basic excercise s.. the excercise helped me feel more positive..which led me to eat more healthily..sorry i can't be more help but wish you well

[Irranath in reply to sparky66]

Thank you for your reply Unfortunately we live nearly 200 miles apart. My Dad and sister live with her and tbh they don't help as they nag her all the time.

They do encourage her but they undo all that with the nagging. It's a very tough stuation.

[sparky66]

Have you seen the program on telly last week about the doctor who prescribed excercise instead of drugs? If you got your mum to watch.. it may help

[Irranath in reply to sparky66]

Yes, I did and it was fascinating. I told her about it so hoefully she has got it on her 'to do' loist. x

[ryanbone10]

So sorry to hear this my friend! You must be worried sick?

Can't you have a word with her GP about your concerns? in confidence ofcourse!

Has your Mum ever been offered Pain Management atall?

She seems so set in her ways and that would take a great deal of courage to adapt, But, with the right support and help, it could be done.

I wish you and your mum the very best of luck. xx

[Irranath in reply to ryanbone10]

Thank you for your kind response, she is ery much set in her ways and is creature of habit.

Its just trying to find a way to get through to her.

[ryanbone10]

It must be extreamely hard for all of you! Yes it's hard to break habits that you've had for many many years, this becomes the *norm* as to speak, I do hope you find a way to help her, even a small change every day would be a grand result.

When we care about a loved one we want whats best for them! It may be the GP needs to review your mums anti-depressants and change them for something else.

There are options available, but its making the first move thats the hardest, If you mum could realise this, that's one of the hardest steps she will ever take, plus it would make her feel good for once about herself.

I have invested in a Purifryer and it's amazing, you can even bake in it. Have a look on the internet, you only use a spray of oil and with some foods, no oil is required!

Well worth a look

Do let us know how she gets on? xx

[gallbladder-missing]

Do you know if your Mother has had her Gall Bladder removed, usually because she had gall stones in her Gall bladder. If she has had that it would make it very difficult to loose weight. go to liverdoctor.com and buy the book. Best to get it from Amazon UK than USA.