I have only had two sessions with my new therapist and so have not yet explored much. Feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the reading on cptsd. How does one know what aspect of your past is causing triggers? And how do you know when you’re triggered what it’s stemming from?
not sure if background helps with context here, but to summarize; father abusive to mother, father emotionally immature and unavailable, mother surviving and unavailable, lonely home with no visitors, no relationship building, sister and father were bullies, father ridiculed a lot, we were poor, walked on egg shells. I don’t know, there wasn’t any one situation, so I think it’s hard to know what parts of my life that I struggle with is linked to my upbringing (where I was in constant anxiety, loneliness, depression, self ridicule).
Perhaps if someone has some insight or personal experience in connecting certain triggers to their past.
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I only have 20 months experience of some therapy and learning about cPTSD, but for me, I would read in small chunks about it when I could manage. For example set a timer for 10 minutes, or read one small section. Do you have the Pete Walker book? As, for me it really helped me to understand why I behave/react the way I do.
I am also learning to be patient around my healing and to slow down as I frequently get impatient to speed ahead and my reactions to situations remind me that I will heal at the right pace, however much I want it all now!
Starting therapy is the first really important step and to take care of yourself along the way. You will start to recognise first when you are triggered and what was happening at the time. I am still learning. And when you are triggered, may be the time to focus on calming yourself first, which is where I am at.
I haven't been on this forum long, but it is an amazing resource and I no longer feel alone in my journey.
I am feeling less overwhelmed at times when I'm at home, now that I am seeing this new therapist for 8 weeks. I really feel this is the right therapy for me. I need to find a new therapist at the end of October, but I am learning to not look too far ahead.
My medication was increased 4 weeks ago as I was not managing at all and that is helping my mind be quieter and I am sleeping a little bit more.
I am so glad to find this forum as I am socially very isolated. Reading through previous posts on here is really helping me realise that I am 'with' people who understand me and may have similar struggles. I think this is helping me to be more patient and allow my healing journey to happen naturally.
I'm so glad to read all this good news! You are really working it and it will pay off. It's not a quick process but every time we see our successes and progress it's boosts us up and gives us the strength to keep going.
I'm sorry about having to change therapists. It seems to happen quite often. I hope the transition goes smoothly.
I'm doing very well, thank you. I've had some situational anxiety episodes but they went along with some major life changes. I had therapy yesterday and we talked about how I made it through every challenge I was faced with
I agree this forum and HU as a whole is so helpful. I think I've been here four years. Validation and seeing that we are not alone is so important. This is a very unique place.
I explored a few other forums, but they didn't seem to have a community feel about them, there were individuals reaching out for support/connection in relation to what was going on for them, but it was more random if anyone responded. So I never posted.
That sounds really positive that you could recognise that your major life changes were impacting your anxiety and you managed to face your challenges. I hope things start to settle for you and fewer challenges come your way.
I know you have mentioned IFS therapy and I am really enjoying seeing a trauma informed IFS therapist. She has such a wonderful way of communicating with my parts, which helps me feel more confident, that I was on the right track in my attempts to. So, if I'm not able to find another IFS therapist within walking distance, I can still continue it at home, whilst seeing another therapist.
That's wonderful news you have begun your therapy.
I can definitely relate to how overwhelming it all is. Two sessions probably opened your eyes to more than you ever knew existed.
I agree with Phoenix1992 this has to be taken in " small chunks"
There are you tube videos that might be helpful also. Again, you don't want to overwhelm yourself so a mini video might be helpful.
Eventually you will see this all connecting and you will build a much greater understanding of who you are
Do you journal? Journaling doesn't have to be full written pages it can sometimes just be a sentence or two or just a list of words. I always wrote something down after my sessions, for me writing reinforces things
sounds similar to my upbringing. I would start with your triggers. Write down the reaction, and what caused it. For example, I get triggered when I smell marijuana. I think about the memory that pops in and I relate it to when my parents grew when I was a child and they almost got caught and my dad freaked out and threw it all away. I relate it to their addictions rather than the emotional abuse I got because the freak out was not directed at me.
I would like to add to the other great replies by mentioning how I came to learn about my triggers.
For me the description "Emotional Flashback" from Pete Walkers book Surviving to Thriving gave me a basis as to what I was experiencing and how to manage them. It was incredibly reassuring to read that there was a name for these episodes I suffered from.
Luckily there is plenty of online information to watch and read up on and as the others have suggested go slowly as it can be difficult to take on board.
Gradually I noticed a pattern - similar things causing me triggers. Some of which I can now handle like, for example, my husband losing his temper if he injures himself working on DIY projects. These outbursts used to really freak me out but now I understand the connection to my past and walk away!
I still have more work to do and I find this site invaluable in sharing information and experiences. All the best.
I have started listening to this book, thank you ! I think if I can feel more in control of my reactions it will help with my confidence. But first I have to learn what the connections are. Some are obvious, and some not so much. Thank you again 😊
One thing that triggers me is snide comments and put downs as it takes me back to when this happened growing up.
I'm well aware rationally that the people who do this are the ones who have problems but still I get ever so upset when it happens!
How are you getting on?
I am doing great and had a day out in Caerphilly today before my 2pm interview and had a walk round and it poured down with rain when I was due to go to the interview but I went and gave it my best but I won't be heartbroken if I don't get it though!
my gosh, I’m so overwhelmed by everyone’s input, but in a good way. I am off to work but I am eager to re- read these replies again. Everyone is right, this forum will be the tool that keeps me going, I have no doubt. Thank you !!!!
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