clarification: i get upset when people are hurt... - Heal My PTSD

Heal My PTSD

8,795 members12,455 posts

clarification

33 Replies

i get upset when people are hurt that are already hurt or anxious.......i have my own baggage of thousands of hours of coachign and not always the top;.........i used to teach koreans who are petrrified of horses........but very rewarding that they wold never hurt them..............so those pepole who see themselves as beginners or fearful and a burden.............ironically if they only knew............we old timers prefer them...........that right..........because they are advanced students who will get on my horses and push them jumping wise or dressage...................does he do this or that maneuver etc ..........and start critiqueing them...................................im polite and suggest we go do someting else...........in my mind ............dude.......................u will never see my horse again or touch him.

we had a young student that had terrrible ptsd from childhood ...rightfully .........long long story...but the instrucotrs and even counselors were totall misreading her............she would cry and cry when the instructors wanted her to be firm with the horses ..............and spend hours grooming and loving the horses in the way the other students..........never did.........obvoulsly her trauma left her understanding what the horses go through and was very loving and very protective............everyone saw her as ...............whereas i took her asdie and as director gave her private lessons in dressage...........beCAUSE i never wold have to teach her to be gentle or senstive...............she was huge gift because i never ever had to worry that she wodl be hard in her hands or hurt the horse............tip of the iceburg of long long story.....

i see.........things very very very differently and resent life.....(should stop here) ....that people are labeled .......and made to think worse.............if i had a protetheisc limb ............get with ohters after depressoion an d lets go to the gym......paralyzed......................get a competitive wheeelchair..............

not saing anxiety doesnt exist .............saying telling someone they blink and and its abyy normal isnt useful from a coahign perspective..............the power of a coach is to take some one who has low confident..........which many of us do.............and i use my belief to emowere them......

see u tomorrow...............but i stink as a rider.

but im terible as an artist.

isaid.....................be here at 8 sharp..........with bells on

but but i cant and ill never and i stink and and

and im scared and

I said.............see u........................8 am .............the journey isnt up ot u.......

u bring your potential..........you try..................i take u the rest of teh way.....

all teh journy is my worry................all u have to do.....is show up.......and try.......we are all scared of someothign

same with schoool..........get a tutor, study hard we all did........we all were petrified in school and worked hard.............but ..............u

are worth your best investment in u...........here and now

but but im

i will be waiting here...............for u................at 8 am .................u show up

u try............i will take u all the way...............no matter if it take a thousand years....................done it with a miiioon milion students.............we all human inclduign us compettitors....

thats what iwa s trying to say............not faultimpeopel for having anzxeity in fact.........just saying.....................its universal..

sorry if i sould gruff........not meant that way............

i refuse ...............to give up ............on anyone ................who wants i bad enough evern if they are scared out of their minds...........most college students are most riding student are..............till they get to know u.

just one mans biiion hours of exereince coaching............think and do what u like.........bring ur teddy ur freinds wahtever makes u feel secure...........

lessons start at 8 am.............your name..............is on that hour..........

33 Replies

in my class,,,,, even if u just pet the horse or groom the horse.........or wahatever..........................in my class...........there is no such thing as failure as I............no one else.............am the instructor and in total charge...........

the only failure.............is destroying the hopes of others.............now that

is a gigantic moral unforgtivable failure ..........not of the student

of abusive coaches, parents freinds or counselors...........

in my class.................failure ................doesn not exist..............

in reply to

You sound a wonderful coach Brig

in reply to

I grew up with Beatrice German coaches beat my brains out and my mother just said we couldn’t take criticism

Fortunate to found a patient one or I would have quit

Most people want to pleeese

They are screamed at

Fir things that take time and conditioning but punished wrongly by bad instructors

The hands quiet over time as the core strengthens

Can’t get the morons to stop screaming

Been there hated it can’t hear my horse

Love older students who wantvto go slower

Realky learn

Helps the horse too

Gid bless maturity

And chronological age

Trying to be kind rider and firm communication and connection

Force not necessary with horse well trained and tuned

Others take strength but nit rewarding

The student

Can be. Joy

Oh it’s about commutation not how tough I am

Oh teach my horse to listen and md too and

Oh

Now that’s a gift

She had severe ptsd

Outstanding potential Cry not to hurt the horse

Exactly what I wanted for that quiet horses

She groomed him and loved him for hours

No one else ever came to see him

I see things very differently

Only Luna gives me the chance and others like her

we came from nothing terrible barns and crawled our way up (the mhs system thinks all horsemen are spoiled hunter jumper types- grossly misinformed....like any with an canoe owns a yacht)....its about social justice.......they called me an elitist..which im not........we have to forget the nonsense out there .........its all about social justice.........my experience was to make working with horses and learning..........the shortcuts..........teach people how to pace themselves, how to study, not be afraid to get assistance as prof dont care..., how to get the people the same opportunity as the super wealthy............its takes all of us ...takes an army helping each other, encouraging each other as we all have down days.........no student no teacher..............take moxie to cross the line...........dare to want to be or learn..........takes a lot of guts..........thats good enough for me ..............u show up..............ill take u the rest of the way...........everyone..........is scared to death of failure, doctors nurses teachers, atheletes..........thats why they study so hard.................over preparation............counters the nerves..........everyhone is scared............its a myth that people dont have fears or anxiety...........doesnt exist. thank u.........we all need helpful neighbors..........

whenever i want to learn about a new subject.........i start in the kids books..............now people have the internet but.......there are tricks to learn how to study effectively ..........if u can get people to listen or come in for assistance.............................we..................dont judge......(we privately thrilled)

in reply to

thank u LC- u help a great deal.....we competitors have set backs in competiton and life same as our horses.........we just start over and regain rebild our confidence at things were good at.......u try to tell people but they insist on doing things the new age way.........the old works countelss times..........have to be your own best and supportiv eor constructive coach and get rid of neg people........life is too short and im not carrying critics just to amuse them.......sounds harsh but had this my whole life..........train alone if i have to ......owe it to my horse and students to prepare them for the challenges ahead.................my responsibiltiy.......as ive ridden those courses..........faced those exams.

for every rocky.....................there is ...an adriene

nothing witout adriene.

i know about horses as i started at age 8 and had internaltional trainers which i can never talk about.....not be cause we were privaledged but we were their charity cases....used to come to our area to get away from all the stuff..........many multi olympic medalists, the new zealand coach, lot of hard work and endless practice....all fine..........but hard when the system and people just say oh u just had it easy or good start.........they arent cars............horses take 24 hour care.......tack has to be cleaned daily.......endless inspections and jobs to pay for lessons..........no one gave us anything.....rode every piece of junk for expereince.........ive taught for 40 years like a short order cook.................got it down..........but the system crucifies us............because their biases...........i wont...........teach anymore..........except for exceptions...........let the mhs know it alls do it...........if that a ersonality disorder i couldnt care less..........they assume horses are safe and easy and such a glamorous life............(sure for the upper 1 percent)..........

its just repetition........helps the rider and the horse...start at the walk...........start with chop sticks or vocals......start with the fundamentals................everyhone wants the fancy and the new splashy coaches............old timers know...............start with

the abc.s......start with the fundamentals.........pateint student helps an old teacher be patietn.....make work fun or acheivable not impssible or belittle people....................put yhoursel fin your horses or students position..............

only LC and people used to abuse...........get it.....

i ll share with them...................anytime.........just an old teacher....our job isnt to make it harder its to make learning easier and watch the hawks leave the nest...........and slowly master the air...............takes tmie for all creatures.

in reply to

all young hunters...lions, eagles birds everthing have to learn to survive from there parents..........young hunters often starve.......

same with what to eat as grzers ..they learn it from mom

why society is so hard on students i do not know..........their mids are not fully formed til in twenty and they have to learn all that we take for granted..........learning is not fun........one of the best ways is to get involved with it or .

be the teacher........who learns more .

proven effective way....

tommy- read the adventures of huck finn to me or ed whose over that the VA hospital

sally- what subjects do u like and tell me all u know...stop next week

this............is the method used in british education and why thier education is so vastly about the usa

in reply to

above

just old time short oder cook that can get fancy...dont enjoy the snooty clients or enlttled.........u ask fantastic questions and are sooo accepting of people.................now that.................is a gift..........

(also democracy) ...

easy to put yourself into horses position....scary.....scary scary..who is this guy, what are his intentions, is he going to hurt me.........etc...............lc is the only one who thinks we have a brain...........before i can work wth them i cant have them be afraid..........or hurting...............blocks communcation and htey cant hear if they are scared.....fortunatley ............with my horses.............i can go as slooooow as i like...............im defiant against abuse, a rebel against demanding riders and trainers............how would u like to be the horse?

same with counselors or doctors............ah doc- would u want to be your patient?

only adriene listens......why make life harder thatn it already is...........its a partnership,,,,four legged or two...............who wants it to be over.........not me..................once u invest in a horse...........the last thing u want is for him or her to leave the farm..........where u know he will have a good home and treated fairly.......

great news- people let me wash dishes at the food handouit drive......man my self esteem is through the roof....chance to help or servie or give and work as work is honor....think work and responsiblity are the ultimate complements and the 9th langueage of respect........v people who talk down to us .....reinforces their view ...wrongly .......regardless of the intetion........tone and ....work is empowerment as u know.......u and others here..........work is ahuge empowerment....lc u alwayslisten..lc u laways listen lc many returns to u..lc .........u kjnow aoubt serivce..thanks for helping me keep going

Luna. Hope u can hear my gratitude and resprct

Brig. That is beautiful.

in reply to

many thanks to u and all our kindred freinds here....u all never mock me for beig senstimental........i always had to work never tme for friends....now..........a treasure

yes- u do.........how rare

thu u.. takes two....many would roll their eyes.

young boy lost in the library last night........so so sad and scared..tiny kid......almost cowering scared to death

15 min later..........running and playing in the books .....happy and laughing

difference: one v kind librarian...........has no idea the gift she has

who saved Oliver twist from Fagan?

youtu.be/93dkoUtrnZM

someday i might take a friend for a trail ride.......ill find the safest horses

in reply to

What a wonderful idea.

sorry to be slow getting back (big big b bb b b bhelp tk u x trillions)

Was not aware. Seem to vent and anger towards the system

So many myths

So many artifial barriers and misinformation

Only long legged twigs can ride etc

The rest and workers overlooked

What we all know

in reply to

So many talented people in my students overlooked because they didn’t fit the model type. Same with ballet

So many over looked because they can’t afford anything

The so called beautiful privaledged people

The world throws them selves at

The rest get crumbs and more work

in reply to

The MHs treats all of us as privaledged vets or horsemen

Ya if u like being Cinderella

Or working till u drop and sleeping in the floor. Yep pretty spoiled working 160 hours per week and everyone telling u what a great life u have. See home once a month then get called spoiled by p nurses and shrinks. Oh ya so fun living in the bathroom

Ur the only one who listens they just stereotype

in reply to

We’re automatically bad because we know the miktary an evil necessity

They go ballistic No discussions automatically bad

Ur very different

in reply to

Remind me pleese to get atv Vehicle companies to donate to the va. Amputees

Carry precious. Cargo

Has to pass myyyyyyy

Interview tests

Lol

Tks

U forget

U help more than u know

Thd goalIn riding is mutism language mutual hearing

Most people would roll their eyes

They are not in our field

Sure brig yep halodol pleese

Their ignorance staggers thd imagination

Only Luna and others give me thine to explain

(she seldom gets the credit )

wish i ...........were the provider..........always wanted to be the mayor of my town........take care of folks

not as boss but make sure people are looked after etc......prob naive but the sentiment is right.........takes a team and u all are sooo differnt than the mean peple of the colleges

helps a ******** lot thks

(not pressing but ..........omg .....die for sharing some thing like a picnic or coffee or slow trail ride.........or whatever..............

cant put it into words but think people get it.............sharing time?????pleasure of your company???)

think u and people get it.........

thank u alll here - thank u thank u thank u thank u thank u for all u do and allow us to not be mocked because we have sentiments....

thank u thank u thank u ............after all i have seen

wnat to see good things- flowers and trees and people creating and music and people having fun and enjoing each toehr with simple things ............etc..etc

when u have seen so much bad.......all u want is to see good peole be happ or not hard times and hold their opets close........and family

You may also like...

need other artists...any form

abou5 using projects to get people going....real tribut to them an the people who find inner...