What are good habits for building healthy sel... - Heal My PTSD

Heal My PTSD

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What are good habits for building healthy self-esteem?

Achoice1 profile image

Last night I found myself begging and crying for my BF to stay after some triggering events unfolded throughout the day. He told me he doesn’t want to deal with my insecurities and stayed but remained very distant and did not communicate with me for the rest of the night.

Upon reflection I realized that I never want to beg for someone’s attention again or think to do so. Any tips for building self-esteem would be awesome!

7 Replies
Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22Volunteer

Hi. I know it's not an easy or quick solution, but in my experience, finding out and understanding about where our self esteem problems originated is incredibly important in changing things. This is partly because our subconscious plays a huge role in this and we need access to that for real change to happen. I think it is particularly important when trauma is a factor because just trying to change our conscious thoughts won't work on its own. I have found that the secret to unlocking where everything came from has been having EMDR therapy.

I sincerely believe that our self esteem issues are imposed on us and understanding this is vital. As someone who worked for many years with children of all ages and their families, (including those with severe emotional and behavioural difficulties,) my professional experience backs this up as well.

Achoice1 profile image
Achoice1 in reply to Marnie22

Thank you so much! This is a great help.

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22Volunteer in reply to Achoice1

Thank you. 🌼

Hi Achoice1, I agree with Marnie. I’ve tried so many therapies over the years, along with positive affirmations etc. Nothing really worked so I thought I was “unfixable”. I’m now having Emdr therapy and can see clearly where it stems from. It’s a tough therapy but effective. The other therapies (for me) were just like painting over a damp patch. The problem is still there and will show through in no time. EMDR gets to the route of the damp …….. (perhaps a weird analogy but works for me 😊)

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22Volunteer in reply to Harbie

Love the analogy! Works for me! 👍😊

Hello, I had social anxiety disorder for years and realized how much low-self-esteem issues contributed to it. I personally think it is at the root of so many mental health issues and I continue to do what I can to increase mine and my own self-acceptance.

I really like the information/teachings of Dr. Bernadette Sewell and am doing her Break Free program. Here is a link to her site: increasingselfworth.com/sta...

peacefulandcalm profile image
peacefulandcalmEncourager

hi Achoice, I relate a lot. I find I have done that most of my life, beg for men to

be there for me. I am trying to get to where I have more faith and faith in myself...

so I can be there more for myself now...and like you said, have more confidence and

healthy self esteem..

I think therapy helps some and doing what we do best, what we enjoy..

having people who are there for us, who bring us up and lift us up...

who complement us...

meditation and self awareness...

healing some of our unhealthy patterns...

I have googled how to raise self esteem many times over the years...

can do this and there are articles!

I relate to your post and thank you for posting it...I hope we both feel higher and healthier

self esteem gradually, and can believe in ourselves more...

awareness and wanting to change are fantastic first steps for us I think....<3

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