Hi ...as many of you know all too well, I have struggled with using benzos long term and my doctor has allowed me to use them long term considering my circumstances of ptsd, ocd, anxiety, depression and a life altering/limiting autoimmune disease. I am 63 and quality of life is more important than quantity. Did I anticipate any of this when I retired....heck no, but this is my life now and I need to accept it,
I just want to thank you all for your kindness and support. I am in therapy and am meditating daily so hopefully retirement will still hold all the things I had hoped for. My road will be long and hard but I need to have hope. Thank you for giving me that.
Maybe it’s the benzos talking, I do not know but I really want to recover. Have made lots of mistakes along the way and have hurt lots of people so I need to work on that also....lots of work to be done!
Once again, I thank you. Just as an FYI, I spoke to my dr honestly...outlined the specifics of not only my trauma, etc. but what my awful autoimmune disease has done to me psychologically. I told him that if a benzo a day meant quality of life versus quantity of life at my age, then so be it. Taking the benzo daily changes my mindset so that I want to take care of myself, eat properly, exercise, etc. therefore perhaps though dependence, tolerance, etc. may occur, there may be benefits. I still think it was a tough call, given the reputation of benzos, but as indicated, he agreed. Thanks again,
I think it's great you had an open discussion and came to an agreement. Follow the plan and see where your path takes you. We are all traveling a different path. This is where you are for now.
We certainly are traveling a different path. So many days I feel like I just won’t make it but I keep trying. Trauma is all encompassing...as is forgiveness...forgiveness of the individual who hurt me and the hurt I have caused others. Life was not supposed to be this hard especially during retirement. Once again, thank you for your words of wisdom and for your kindness....😍
My other problem is that many days I cannot imagine a future but I am finding that by taking it one day, one moment at a time, it’s a bit easier to cope...between therapy and meds I will make it...my best to you also. You sound like you have been at this for a while and really know what you are talking about. ❤️
None of us know what we will get hit with in life. I guess the key is how determined we are to work and work to pull ourselves out of the trenches. If something isn't successful look at something else etc.
Peace is the goal. For some it takes longer to find a place of peace. Just don't give up on yourself you are worth it.
hi usedtolovelife, I am not well but writing a bit to your post. Just that if you are meditating daily, that is wonderful. And if you keep doing that, you may not need benzos at all in the future...or less and less
I take for now , often times , 3- 1mg a day. Before, 1 mg a day. I hope to go back down to 2mg day soon, and then 1mg day of course soon...if I don't need it of course, I don't take it...
You doctor knows your case and both of you are happy with this decision. I’m also at an age where I look at quality of life. Meditating is a good thing to do. We have all made mistakes along our journey and some people may feel hurt because if that. Forgive yourself for being human. I didn’t think it would ever be possible to recover from past trauma, how wrong I was. I’m living a life far less plagued by the symptoms I was experiencing. Yes I still get triggered but I now have the tools to ground myself to pull me out of dissociation rather than constantly living in that place.Things sound quite positive in your post. Here with support.
I think it's important to do what works for you. One of the things that i'm finding essential in my recovery is the importance of loving and accepting myself regardless of what is happening, both good and bad and the value of coming back to living in the moment. Sounds like where you are headed also. Good for you.
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Back after A Long Absence (TW? Brief mention of sexuality) 
how the hell do you banish ptsd
Volunteering with others like you
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