I feel like the only one being responsible. - Heal My PTSD

Heal My PTSD

8,122 members11,920 posts

I feel like the only one being responsible.

I have been very responsible from an early age. I need to cool it. So worried to let up that something bad might happen. I feel responsible for others that don't know better. Just feeling frustrated right now. Everyone I see just looks like they go around having a grand time and being what I would call irresponsible and having fun and stuff. Kinda jealous. Need to work on me but I don't feel safe. I don't trust these people. I guess I am having a hard time right now. I have a roof over my head and everything so I am ok just how do others get through this?

17 Replies

Sound like older sibling or the coast guardTgecoldcsalts ardctgd only to listen

The fun and

Tell us to lighten up while they have fun

.till they gdtvrverone into trouble .

.i can relate

May be ?? Small steps

.tk u for being so reliabld tho

Sorry not more help otherwise will bdcbe

in reply to Brig57

You're sweet Brig :) Thank you.

in reply to

I am the oldest. Thank you for understanding. 🤗

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to

Yaaaaaa

Took care of the clan since 5

Minutes

Ya

Everyone plays

.cjnderela

Keeps sweeping and one eye peaked for toys on thrcstaird

S and bratty

Siblings having fuuuuun

.ratting on Cinderella

.theu

She mean

She too serous

.she doesn't playwright

.shectoo serous

Hmmm

Wondr why I ajwaysxwatch

For tgrcquiet jnvidble workers

First in line for. Jibs

Cindy

Cough cough wink wink

Let's let the kids any age

.figurecout

The mop and lswm mower

.hey

Spa or massage time? ???????????

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

Ah MS Cinderella I mean .cjnfy

.tgere is this massage place I need as reliable report on

.anf I need a trustworthy

Reliable investigator ..howvu feel about..u know doing some

.

Ahhh

Rreserach

Maybe 5.or 8 vidutd

Check out the spa

Letvmr know if ud recommend it

????

Take yurctime on the report

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

Oh Cindy??

U are now inducted into

.tge Judith Reid bet hall of fame receiving the

.walter Payton Awards

Steady as rock

Come he'll or high. Water

.and

Lead worker VIP

Awards 1980 through 2020

Congratulations

Also

Threexsilver stars

And 6 distinguished service medaks

As I'm the CEO

I award the deserving

Not the entitled

Congratulations

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

I love this part of my job

😀

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

I love itvwhen Cinderella wins

Ahhh trade secret

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to Brig57

Juice

Stice

How's

.sweet

It is

Ya baby

Made

My

Daaay

Brig57 profile image
Brig57 in reply to

I think We will name

Hmmmm

Yep

That one

Top of the big. Dipper

Ur star

:)

SavingGrace profile image
SavingGraceModerator

Reading this does remind me somewhat of how I used to feel - responsible for everyone. And that's no mean feat! Of course not everyone needs looking after... and I wondered at one point, if it meant I was a control freak type. But I don't think you should ever give up on trying to be responsible or wishing the best for everyone. It's a wonderful path to take.

Sometimes, though, it is about finding the right way to do so.

And in making that decision, I found it helpful to think about why I felt so responsible for others. I realised that it came from a place of guilt. Enter left stage: years of questioning.

No guilt is not good, responsibility is however. So for me, it was about learning to draw out the positives of being a responsible person for so long, vs learning to let go of the motive of guilt - and working towards finding a healthier way forward for me to respect my own life more.

Yes, I get that - learning to feel safe enough before you can learn to let go and trust yourself, to live your own life.

But these two things can take place in a parallel way...

I would just recognise that you are a responsible person and give thanks for that - being gracious is important.... and with that you CAN allow yourself to bestow blessings on your self.

Take it easy.... today is definitely a goodhairday!!! <3 xxx

in reply to SavingGrace

I actually wrote some of your ideas down. I am going to talk to my therapist tomorrow. Thanks to everyone. :D

Oh my gosh! I know what it was that made me feel guilty. I don't need to feel that way. I'm so glad that situation is over aah.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner

It is hard when you get used to protecting others, Goodhairday.

As a child I took care of my alcoholic father and that responsibility wasn't mine. At some point I realized that I am only responsible for my own life (and any children I might have) but it was very hard watching someone destroy their life and getting in life threatening situations every day.

Later I felt responsible for someone with a medical condition that wasn't taking care of himself and sadly died. Faced multiple traumatic situations and I don't think I recovered from that.

I think that this feeling of responsibility is linked to greater chance of having PTSD because of someone else so it's a very important subject to talk about with a therapist.

I really don't know how to emotionally process this even though on a rational level it wasn't my responsibility, they were both adults, but on a deeper level I need to process the trauma at some point.

I hope you find some advice and ability to set up boundaries.

Wishing you strength...

in reply to Nathalie99

Thank you and same for you.

Lindyloo53 profile image
Lindyloo53Volunteer

I’m sorry your having a hard time at the moment. I do think when we’ve experienced bad situations ourselves we kind of want to save others from going through similar. The thing is if they are adults they really don’t need us rescuing them. We are programmed from an early age to do this when we have been abused but it is not mine or your responsibility to do this.

in reply to Lindyloo53

Thanks that's a valid point.

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