Attachment trauma

[greenrainbow]

Hi is there someone struggling with attachment trauma? I have completely lost any emotional connection to my friends recently (to my family even since I was a teenager because my sister died and my parents got severely depressed and detached). I’m trying to work on this with a psychologist but getting quality help there is still impossible. I was recently deeply betrayed by a boyfriend and some friends so for a year I’ve been struggling to establish connections with people but it’s more difficult than ever. I really get triggered by the smallest thing and I just end up crying by myself at home. Is there any way out of it? I am still looking for a proper therapist and I’m reading books on the topic but it’s ridiculously difficult. My current trigger just now is that I’m visiting some friends in a different country. I wanted to catch up with a friend and canceled other plans for it but when I asked to meet up at a different place and he got mad at me (also affected by his hangover from a party) i was wet rational towards him and made him really he is not fair in his anger. Still I just started crying on my own and detached myself from him and I put on the regular mask. It’s something very small but I really can’t stop crying and I don’t want to get out of the house again. It takes me too much energy anyways

[Nathalie99 Partner]

I feel that for me the most important part was understanding my triggers.

Attachment trauma is in my case a part of several different traumas. Instead on working on the attachment trauma, I worked on the other traumas.

I am not sure if focusing on attachment issues without the context of the traumatic events causing them, would bring as good results but I am not a therapist.

We can only share from our experiences and everyone has a different perspective.

For me it was going nowhere.

When I started somatic experiencing therapy, all the context came out and we did a bit of inner child work that helped with attachment trauma.

Talking to your friend about how you feel could help clear the situation. Everyone has the right to their emotions but if he raises his voice, you might explain that it's triggering and to talk calmly. Another alternative is to talk after you both calm down a bit.

It's really difficult to process deep hurt and understand what's happening.

You are doing a lot of inner work and reading resources which is a very good start.

It may take a while to find something that really fits with your situation and resonates with you.

Sending lots of support on self exploring.