Possible PTSD??: I started doing acupuncture a... - Heal My PTSD

Heal My PTSD

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Possible PTSD??

mag_returns profile image
11 Replies

I started doing acupuncture a few weeks ago for insomnia. Each session has been stronger and stronger. The last 2 sessions I shook pretty intensely. Intense enough that the acupuncturist didn't feel comfortable leaving me alone. The first time I shook I just recalled the shaking with no emotion. The second time there was less shaking but intense emotion - sadness and fear and I had tears the whole time. But I had no memories come to me. I don't know what could be the cause of these feelings. I have no memories of my childhood before the age of 9. Is it worth it to try to recover those memories? Any tips on how to do it. I'm a little fearful of continuing the acupuncture now as the emotional aspect seems to be overwhelming for me and each session is getting stronger and stronger.

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11 Replies
Ellen6 profile image
Ellen6Major Contributor

Hi

Gosh, that sounds really tricky and must’ve been hard. I don’t know what is best, sometimes things are best left but if this Accupuncture has triggered something from years ago ( and it is bothering you) it may be worth speaking to a therapist. Problem is you don’t know what it may reveal and I guess it’s really deciding what is right for you right now. Go with your gut feeling. I

Ellen

SavingGrace profile image
SavingGraceAdministrator

Hey there. Acupuncture is a wonderful thing I understand, yet I would definitely continue to go as you are - with caution and consideration before taking another session. It seems that this may be opening you up to emotions you have kept aside hidden, or it may be that you just don't suit acupuncture. Either way, please go carefully. There are many options for insomnia, and if you are about to enter a PTSD triggered phase, then it is best to consider all options.

As long as you find a good support system to help guide you through this time.

At the end of the day - we all have to make the important decision about whether to delve into our pasts in more depth. Can it bring healing, enlightenment, growth, are you in a place to receive such change? - such questions. It is something that, as Ellen says, may be a gut feeling.

I wish you well.

mag_returns profile image
mag_returns in reply to SavingGrace

I've tried many things for insomnia and tried for months to get it under control. Acupuncture is actually one of the last things I've tried. I have a cabinet of supplements that never worked. So many teas, meditation, things for baths. I really feel like I am backed into a corner. Like I either face whatever it is that has haunted me or never sleep again.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner

Hi mag_returns,

Welcome to the community.

The intense shaking could be a sign of trauma getting to the surface but it's hard to know.

Events we go through get stored in the body on a cellular level and some people have more somatic symptoms than others.

Symptoms can manifest in different ways and for some people the most powerful techniques involve some kind of body work.

It is a very difficult decision on what to do depending on the time in your life. If you feel that you would like to explore it further, you might try to see a specialized therapist in either somatic experiencing or trauma release excercices.

The method called Trauma Release Excercise has been used for releasing of stored trauma by shaking. You can look up Dr David Bercelli.

The Somatic Experiencing method is based on the fact that animals shake immediately after experiencing life threatening situation. You can look up Dr Peter Levine.

If you decide to go ahead, these are very powerful techniques and can bring very difficult body reactions, emotions and memories to the surface.

That's why it is something that needs to be done carefully and with sufficient grounding techniques and support as any trauma therapy can be dangerous if not done properly.

I hope your intuition will guide you through what's best at this point in your life.

Hope your sleep improves......

mag_returns profile image
mag_returns in reply to Nathalie99

Thanks for the reply. I've looked into Tre a long time ago and had some shaking but nothing as intense as what I went through recently. Can you explain what grounding techniques are? I don't know if I have a choice anymore not to continue. I feel something stuck inside physically now. It wakes up as soon as I fall asleep now. I feel something moving from my chest to my throat and if stays there I feel like I can't get a deep breath and if it travels down to my stomach I feel nausea. Either way it doesn't leave until it wakes me up. My 5-6 hours of sleep is now extremely disturbed. And I feel like I'm getting 3 hours of undisturbed sleep.

Agara33 profile image
Agara33 in reply to mag_returns

It sounds like a pivotal moment you are going to pursue. Finding an ally in a very good therapist might make a huge difference as this is unfamiliar territory. You are very brave, facing ourselves is the hardest thing a person can do💛

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner in reply to mag_returns

Sleep is very important and my PTSD started as a lack of sleep initially.

I think it's very possible that either emotions or body memories "woke up" and resurfaced.

The body waits for a safe time to process and it can take many years, sometimes decades for something to open.

At times it's better not to open it but I believe eventually it is better for the health to release the emotions and find a way of processing.

My body response was very intense. Nausea and vomiting is one of the reactions.

I also shake, sometimes I get very cold (it was cold during some of my early childhood trauma and my body remembers).

I am working with a somatic experiencing therapist and this happens during or after a session. She says it's a wisdom of the body to let go of the trauma.

The grounding techniques is a wider name for a variety of different ways of bringing yourself back to the present moment.

During the trauma release, doesn't matter which method is used, it is expected that strong body memories or emotional flashbacks come up. My therapist says we need to be observed and don't go deeper into the trauma.

We use different methods.

One of them is using 5 senses to ground yourself. You can try to find something to look at, something nice that draws your attention. You can listen to some music. You can use smell, taste and touch as well.

Another way is getting in touch with your body. This can be a breathing technique or some small exercise to move your body.

Mindfulness is often recommended but this might be difficult to start with.

Maybe you can try to find you tube videos about TRE and see if it's something you would like to try.

You can search online for practitioners in your area.

Lots of them offer sessions over video call so you don't have to be there.

I hope you find a way of releasing whatever is stored in your body and that your quality of sleep will improve.

mag_returns profile image
mag_returns in reply to Nathalie99

The acupuncture is releasing it. I am so scared though. I am just zoned out most of the day. I have no thoughts about what happened but so much emotion that is just at the surface. My first session where I shook it was just shaking without any emotion. It scared me a little to be out of control of my body but I was okay with it. The next time I shook but felt fear, intense fear, almost terror. Now onto last Saturday, told my acupuncturist that the last two sessions stirred something up and could feel it was stuck and that I'm pretty sure something will come up today. This time it came up in about 5 minutes and I felt fear, sadness and so much pain. It wasn't pain localized in one place, it went through my whole body, to the core of me, to my soul. Then I just kind of left, like it wasn't me anymore. My acupuncturist pulled the needles after 5 minutes but the experience continued. It took about 15 minutes to calm everything back. I told her I needed to release it. I didn't want it inside me still. I told her I could handle whatever it is. So she finally agreed to put it back in. Within 5 seconds of inserting 1 needle the shaking started and the wave of emotion came back. She couldn't get any of the others back in. In about 10 minutes everything subsided and I felt peace in my head and my body. I saw calm ocean water. There's still something stuck though. Now that I'm two days after the last session, I feel some emotion wanting to come up. Like almost crying but not being able to. I started running to see if I can get some of the energy out. I tried watching a sad movie to see if I can get myself to cry. None of it is working. I'm thinking I have to go in on Wednesday for another session. I wish I could see where the end is. If I could know that I think I could handle it. I know I am rambling and it doesn't even make any sense to me. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner in reply to mag_returns

It seems like you released a huge amount of emotions/body memories.

Acupuncture is working and it is a good sign that you saw positive images and felt the relief.

In my own processing through somatic experiencing those things come in layers.

I need to sometimes revisit certain things and release more.

I think it is important to be accepting of whatever emotions come and not being able to cry is okay. When you are ready, it will happen.

The feeling of being not connected with your body might be body memories that take you away from the present moment.

It was one of the hardest things to not go into those feelings and only allow them to a certain level. Otherwise it's too overwhelming and can suck me back in.

You don't need to remember to process. Your body has the wisdom to do it.

Shaking is a release of fear and that can help you feel calmer.

I think you are doing a lot of progress.

mag_returns profile image
mag_returns

It's interesting that you said the things that come up need to be observed but not to go deeper into the trauma because the last acupuncture session I had, I felt myself leave. I was there but not really there anymore. Like I was just watching it happen to someone else. I could still answer questions when my acupuncturist asked me but I was completely zoned out. I figure it was some way my mind/body was still protecting me. I also thought about forgiving whatever happened and I said it multiple times a day that whatever happened I forgive this. I don't know if it will make any difference. I don't know if I can forgive if I have a memory surface so maybe it's a good thing I cannot recall anything.

Nathalie99 profile image
Nathalie99Partner in reply to mag_returns

Sometimes the brain protects us against something we can't cope or process at the time by not remembering.

I wake up from nightmares sometimes not remembering and I feel it's better because before I tried really hard to remember and it triggered me badly.

It was useful to understand but now I need to focus more on here & now.

I think the feeling you describe might be dissociation which is a protective mechanism against trauma, to protect against unbearable pain (physical or emotional or both).

It's a good sign that you were able to answer the questions and were aware of your surroundings.

I do breaks for grounding with my therapist for those reasons.

For me it's like suddenly I have memories and feelings and I understand things more but then make an effort to not relive this.

It's actually brought positive memories and feelings that I forgot about.

It shows how individual we are and how our bodies use different coping mechanisms. That's why finding what works is such a big thing and I think you found what works for you...

Just letting it happen means release and that's happening on deeper level than consciousness.

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