im breaking.... :'(

[kanikarawat102]

i feel so helpless rn. and i've been trying to control myself from breaking down. so the problem is my boyfriend has glaucoma and its really bad since we've been round and around this topic a lot but i dont know why its so hard. i know he is going through a lot and i am trying my best to be there for him.. its almost a year to us now and we've gone through a lot in a year but he told me bout his eye problem a few moths ago. he is depressed and says that when he'll go blind everyone will leave him but i'm trying my best to tell him im here... but it seems like he cant see me. i know he wants me but it's really hard for him... we dont know what our future holds but i love him... people might point it out as some teenage high school love but i really love him, he has been there for me in my problems and i've given my all too!! but lately he's been acting really distressed. we have exams.. we have tests to give and so much is going on... and its just really bad. im breaking really bad.. and when i need him to help me he acts so inconsiderate... and im trying my best to be there for him... and its breaking me so bad... i dont know what to do... it just hurts so much and i dont even have friends to open up to and i've almost cut off from everyone.

please help me!!!!

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi,

I am very sorry to hear that your boyfriend is losing his eyesight. That's terrible.

He is understandably distressed and probably panicking and thinking the worse that everybody will leave him. It takes time to come to terms with getting blind, I think. And at one point he will realize that he will not lose everyone. But at the moment it feels like the end of his world to him.

I understand how distressing it is but it sounds like you have a solid relationship and not a superficial one and care for each other. The best you can both do is to support each other. Sometimes just saying "I am here" means a lot to the other person.

Having other stresses like the exams must be adding the extra pressure to your situation so it is harder to deal with emotions when so much is going on. But it is important that you both take time to connect to each other emotionally and feel the support from one another and be stronger as a couple.

He needs to process this very bad news about his eye sight on his own time but he will still need your support and when it gets better, he will be grateful that you stood by him.

[kanikarawat102 in reply to Nathalie99]

thank you so much i really need that!! and im giving my best by being there for him. and yet it is really hard for him to cope up and im also trying to help him to get through this. its really hard especially when i dont tell him half of the things that i'm going through thinking he already has a lot to carry and to burden him with my problems is going to mess up even more!!

and i have been supporting him... and will be too. and i know love does not come free and we have to work it through to deal with the flaws of one another and we have to work hard. its not perfect... we have to create one on our own. its a war we have to fight fearlessly. and im trying to tell him this... and i hope he gets it soon too. i really love him. and he is the only one i actually rely on.. the only one i have... cant afford to lose him... he has had my back ever since we met... and he is really precious to me... and when he says such things it breaks my heart... cz ive been giving my best.. its just hard with everything..

and yeah exams do have a pressure on us... and he is doing well with studies... its me who cant concentrate... and idk its just... its been worse.... him and then my anxiety and family and loneliness... its eating me up... and i dont wanna lose one last thing i actually consider mine....

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to kanikarawat102]

You are already doing the right things and I hear a lot of wisdom in your words. You don't take each other for granted and work on things accept each other's flaws. There are no perfect relationships and sooner or later there are difficult and trying times. You have to be prepared to deal with it in any relationship, now and in the future, it is a part of life.

If both of you are strongly committed to each other than you will make through this. Losing eyesight is a major life changing moment for him o it is a very tough time.

Relationships need to be nurtured and they require hard work at times and it takes a conscious effort every day but it is worth it, if the connection is strong. There are times when one partner gives more than the other but then in the future it might reverse and he will be there for you more.

You have already given him signals how much you care and that you are there for him. He might need space to process his situation and come to terms with it. You did your best and at times there is nothing more you can do. I know this uncertainty is horrible but for the moment it seems like he still cares and loves you but maybe just needs time.

Talking honestly and in a mature way about each other's emotional needs may help a lot, knowing what to expect, knowing what you both need/expect from each other and talking about what's possible.

[kanikarawat102 in reply to Nathalie99]

yeahh... ishall try my best to support him and be there for him cause thats the very basics of a relationship, to be there for one another and support each other through every problem.

it might take time but i can wait... we have our lives to live.. he has been negative lately and i'm trying to help him... he thinks if he goes blind he will become a burden... and that i'll get tired of him.... its really hard to see him struggle. watching him hurt breaks me and hurts me too.

we do have a strong bond.. but we have communication problems... he keeps things inside and i have to force it... and idk how to understand with him telling me and its not that we live together... for now school made life easy a bit cz we could analyse each others behavior but now long distance will be changing that and i want him to open up and say things clearly...

i just hope and wish we get through this pretty well... he said he has the first stage but still its incurable as doctors say... im just praying things aren't as bad as it seems....

thanks for your help though :))

[Nathalie99 Partner in reply to kanikarawat102]

You are welcome. It is understandable that he is struggling with coming to terms with his diagnosis. It's life changing and scary. I can understand how he is scared to be a burden.

Of course it is very difficult to see loved one suffering.

Long distance is not making it easy.

I really wish things work out for both of you. Good luck 🍀

[kanikarawat102 in reply to Nathalie99]

thank you so much!! thanks a lot!!

[tanika13]

Hey Kanika..I'm so happy you're reaching out though. Sorry to hear of all the stress and strain going on right now. It is a lot and it makes sense that I feel overwhelmed. Try to be gentle with yourself and let yourself feel what your feeling. I've been reading that on here and tring it out and it sucks to be stressed but when that's the reality it helps to just let yourself be stresed. Going to text more soon

[kanikarawat102 in reply to tanika13]

thank you so much tanika! im relieved by knowing i have your support!! thank you so much for reading my long texts and supporting me through. really grateful!! :))

[tanika13 in reply to kanikarawat102]

Of course ! You're so Welcome!