Since I don't have a lot of family members that I'm close to sometimes I have made some of my neighbors my family. I received a knock on my door and my neighbor behind me said We sold the house and we are leaving tomorrow. I felt sad and even noticed that I was having a physical reaction from it. I was breathing different while I swallowed. It's pretty much back to normal today. Do any of you ever make other people in your life your family and have you ever had a physical reaction from it?

9 Replies

  • Definitely - I have made other people in my life my family, and it's a big upset when they leave! It's like they're abandoning me, and I learned early on, that's life threatening.

  • Thanks. I just get attached to people.

  • Same for me, right now the closest people are not my family and it hurts when they move out. I have lost so many of them over the last 5 years.

    For me it's the lack of stability that is difficult.

  • Yes. It is hard. I guess I also like things to remain the same. I don't like change. It's hard when people leave.


    That happens to me often. Not the neighbors I have now but I often pick people (especially older women) as friends. I think this is because I didn't really have a relationship with my mother. My attempts used to turn out pretty bad but I am getting better at it-if I don't jump right in, and I really listen to what they have to say.

    We had a small business for many years and this one couple that came in often (yes older) were moving out of state. It was all I could do not to start sobbing when they told us they were leaving. It was quite a moment there. And while I didn't hyperventilate-as I've been known to do, I felt as though my world just wouldn't be the same without them.

    On the other hand we had a very nice man in the building next to ours, and we were quite friendly with him. One day a customer came into our place and you could smell the liquor on his breath. He had been in a few times before and I always felt uncomfortable around him but my boyfriend was always present so I wasn't too worried. This time I was alone. He simply wouldn't leave my desk. I took all I could stand to wait him out, but he wouldn't leave. I got up and just left the building. I went next door to our friend, where I thought I would be safe. He pretty much told me he wasn't leaving his place just for some guy I didn't like. I was dumbfounded. I meant nothing. I felt so let down by this friend that I thought I could count on and he really didn't give a shit what happened, he was busy. Wow.

    Onto physical reactions. I blush. I get dizzy. If its really bad I get a rush from my stomach to my head. It's crazy. I try to stop it and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

    I think we are seeking people who make us feel safe. When they leave we wonder if we will ever find people like that again.

  • Thanks for sharing. I don't feel alone in my reaction. I know it's hard when they don't help us the way we need them too. Yes that makes sense that we want to find people that feel safe to us.

  • Definitely! I have very few family members I trust or can get close to, and just recently had two sets of neighbors move within a week of each other. I was very close to both families, and it tore me up. It made it even worse to find out the things that had been going on that I wasn't aware or - alcoholism, for example. It adds to my symptoms for quite a while, taking me time to settle back down and begin to reach out again.

  • possible trigger. I also had three neighbors in the beginning of the year pass away. They were all in the age range I'm in. One of them was an alcoholic. I didn't know that. Just really a huge loss and feels scary and its just when someone leaves or moves away it feels like it makes me feel uncomfortable too. Thank you for sharing I don't feel so alone in my feelings.

  • I love the quote, "Friends are the family we choose." So of course we feel sad when a friend leaves for what ever reason.

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