Therapist called out sick/ sex problems - Heal My PTSD

Heal My PTSD

8,780 members12,437 posts

Therapist called out sick/ sex problems

transpower profile image
5 Replies

tfw your therapist cancels your appointment cuz she's sick....... god damn it I really needed a session w/ her. She's an expert. I need expertise right now.... I'm lost.

Can anyone who's a survivor of CSA and adult sexual assault help me? I have been groomed and assaulted by many predators for my entire life. I have had PTSD my whole life. I have no idea what it feels like to not have PTSD.

My sex problem is feeling like I need sex to feel good about myself.

The validation of someone else wanting my body... not just the pleasure release. I can masturbate and get the same thing. I just want my partner to desire me enough that she comes after me.... but for her she doesn't like to be the pursuer. She wants to be pursued... but I'm just so worried that she will reject me every time I pursue her for sex. I don't like feeling rejected so I just don't say anything when I'm in the mood... I'm also rarely in the mood. lol it doesn't make sense. I am triggered all the time. 

Written by
transpower profile image
transpower
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
5 Replies

That's a tough one. I couldn't possibly begin to know what you are going through or would not dare to suggest anything. I have always been the opposite. I hate anything to do with sex and reject anyone who comes near me. Sorry for what you are going through.

trekster22 profile image
trekster22

I have a similar experience where I confused sex with love but not anymore.

transpower profile image
transpower in reply to trekster22

How did you change that

trekster22 profile image
trekster22 in reply to transpower

Lots of counselling and therapy go improve my self esteem and self worth.

amwein profile image
amwein

Hey transpower,

I both experienced CSA and adult sexual abuse. I can relate having also been assaulted by multiple people over my lifetime- and I cannot say for sure how long I have had PTSD, because I was in denial of it until I was 18... I thought a lot of my symptoms were normal...

As for your experiences with sex, I can relate on some level and perhaps offer a bit of information about my personal experiences with sex. I used to believe that I needed sex to feel good about myself. The sense of desire from another person for my body was incredibly validating. Though I often can overcome it, I still experience that sense of needing my SO to pursue me. I am usually in the mood more frequently than my partner...

That said, it has taken years of figuring out the root of my need for that validation and replacing it/ teaching myself healthier alternatives. My partner has been really vigilant with me about talking through the process... trying to understand what I am really looking for in sex. We have found that for me, sometimes it is security, and other times, it is affection, closeness, control or release. Determining the reason behind it can be extremely helpful. At least it was for me.

I can relate to simultaneously wanting sex and not being in the mood at the same time... for me it is also that fear of rejection, but again it came down to me looking into exactly why I am afraid of the rejection. I think the repetition of safe rejection has helped me immensely in my healing.

Apologies for the super long post. I just feel like I can relate a lot.

You may also like...

PTSD relapse, stuck situation

anxiety. I'm scared of the person I live with just because she doesn't understand me and says...

I need advice right NOW about a therapy phone call

trauma. I can't do this! I don't feel up to getting rid of her. I don't like lying: \\"Oh, ya, all...

Being blocked on Facebook/social media out of the blue (trigger warning)

June. Today she blocked me on Facebook which is beyond out of the blue. Any idea why she would block

Thankful for New Therapist

That's 3 days in a row of relative success. I feel like I'm just now coming into understanding of...

I hate this, still triggered and suffering

hell, feels like one just wants any way out. Smaller ones, less time. I have had it. Don't feel...