I am nervous of going on holiday abroad. I keep go... - Headway

Headway

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I am nervous of going on holiday abroad. I keep going through all the possibilities. this resulted in a panic attack last night.

pleyland profile image
30 Replies

I must apologise for this question as I know there are people losing their homes and livlihoods due to brain injury. I had a stroke 6 months ago and have been very lucky as I have made almost a full recovery. I say almost as I still get very nervous and anxious. I can't watch television as I often find it too real and on occasions quite terrifying.

I am planning a holiday abroad this summer for the family as I know they have all had a tough year. My problem is that I am getting very nervous about it. I am thinking of all the worse things that could happen. What if I have another stroke when I am there etc.

I guess I'm hoping someone had the same anxieties and then had a great time.

I had an anxiety attack last night worrying about it. Apologies again as I know a lot of you will see this as a walk in the park problem. Just don't want to spoil it for my kids.

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pleyland profile image
pleyland
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30 Replies
leeleeleelee profile image
leeleeleelee

why worry so much

dont plan a good time and then worry it off

if you are going on your jollys

then go on your jollys

im sure your kids and missus will look after you

if your concerns are that bad why not go somewhere closer to home

a weekend away just for a tester

what you dont need is a stroke

this worry causes stress and that can have lots of things coming up

slap your hand knock it off enjoy this time

shout at your self tell your self it will be ok

every body in your world can see what is going on. your panic attacks will make them worry more about you

give youself a good time

you may deserve it

good luck

can we all come with you he he

spideyman profile image
spideyman in reply to leeleeleelee

After 3 SAH i went trekking iin China. Youll be fine

Lubilu01 profile image
Lubilu01 in reply to leeleeleelee

As i've mentioned before. i Just love your replies leeleeleelee. You have a great way of putting things, more please! X

pleyland profile image
pleyland

Thanks Lee. I know I'm incredibly lucky to be going on holiday at all. Its crazy when I'm having anxiety attacks about the possibility of having anxiety attacks. Hand well and truly slapped.

Cheers for talking straight. I needed it.

Will let you know if I can find a very large suitcase for everyone.

Jigsaw profile image
Jigsaw

Hi, please dont feel guilty about worrying about a holiday. We all worry about things that may seem trivial to others. You want your family to have a lovely holiday, which is a caring thing to worry about - I still havent got in a plane yet!

But your family will be happy they are with you and you are well where ever it happens to be - so like lee lee says, maybe a short holiday here first or just a short flight for a weekend away!

Big hugs

Linda x

Hi. I worry about holidays also and it takes me almost a week to settle down when we do go abroad. We found that taking a holiday within the EU and therefore having fairly decent medical cover via the EHIC and reliable(ish!) public services significantly eased the worry. Plan it, mitigate whatever risks you can, realise that you will be safer than teenagers on a resort holiday, relax and allow yourself to enjoy time with your family in the sun.

pleyland profile image
pleyland

Thank you everyone for simply understanding where I'm coming from. Its very reassuring.

The sun is also shinning outside!! A deckchair in the garden doesn't look to far off.

Cheers!

Paul

spideyman profile image
spideyman

Get yourself a medical card for use in the EU

pleyland profile image
pleyland

Thanks! Will do.

cat3 profile image
cat3

I really do understand panic attacks and how debilitating they can be. I have had breast cancer, sah,meningitis and tachycardia to name a few scary illnesses, however, they pale in comparison to a full blown panic attack.

A few years ago,after being plagued with them to the point where I was virtually housebound,I received an invitation to a friends weddind (gypsy style up in the Derbyshire hills). As I had been covering up the problem with all kinds of excuses,I didn't feel able to tell her I couldn't drive,by myself,such a long distance and up into the hills,through the middle of nowhere to find some farmers field where everyone was to be camping.

My fear was that I would have both a tachycardia and a panic attack whilst I was driving and I would be deserted in the dark miles from anywhere and die.

To cut a long story short, I found the courage from somewhere, drove up through the hills alone on a summer evening, shaking and hyperventilating until I saw the signpost I'd been told to look for. I stopped the car, sat on the bonnet with coffee from a flask and suddenly felt very calm and reassured. I didn't have a single attack throughout the whole weekend, the weather was glorious, the wedding was beautiful and my friends were none the wiser about my ordeal.

Most importantly, facing the fear and being rewarded with ,possibly, the most wonderful weekend of my life gave me the confidence to do so much more . After years of fear and panic I never had another attack.

There is absolutely no foundation for your fears. A holiday is not going to give you a stroke.......

what it will probably do is provide you with precious memories of time well spent as a family.

Sincere best wishes cat x

pleyland profile image
pleyland

Cat I don't know what to say. You have just reduced me to tears and put everything in perspective.

Thank you and take care of your self.

Paul X

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to pleyland

Thank you for taking the time to reply,Paul.

Now dry the tears

And face the fear

And get your show on the road m'dear.!

Good luck and YOU take care, cat x

TC1979 profile image
TC1979

I am not going to intentionally paraphrase what other people have already said but probably will due to everyone wanting to ease your worried mind.

If everyone worried about what might happen but actually never does then we would never leave our houses, but then what if something happens within the house? Catch 22.

Reduce the risk of anything happening by not going into stressful situations like bungee jumping, sky diving etc. Shift happens ( extra letters to avoid swearing ).

What's worse. Going away for an intended holiday which will be lovely and exactly what everyone else wants it to be or not going away because something might happen? Stop worrying and create a safety net to fall back on. If it were to happen. This might relax your mind. Delegate your preparations to spread reduce your personal anguish.

spartan300 profile image
spartan300

i am on holiday in thailand for 3 months the heat and sun here is agreat healer not 100 percent but a lot better than england get lots of sun it works for me , go for it enjoy,if i had not come here 3 years ago i dread to think what my life would have been like i think thailand saved my life serious, take care love you all, john xxx.

headwayuk profile image
headwayukPartnerHeadway

Hello pleyland,

Thank you for your question. I can't really add much to the excellent guidance given by our members here, but you might find it useful to read our 'Holidays and travel after brain injury' factsheet, which includes a few useful tips and a list of travel insurance providers. We do suggest that everyone should get travel insurance cover even alongside EHIC card, as it includes things like medical repatriation and other features that really cover all the bases.

You can download the factsheet at headway.org.uk/Core/Downloa...

We would suggest having a chat to your doctor about the holiday to put your mind at rest. As you can see many people have excellent holidays after a brain injury, and it could be a great opportunity to relax and take your mind off what must have been a very difficult 6 months.

Best wishes,

Headway.

pleyland profile image
pleyland in reply to headwayuk

Thanks thats really helpful.

brighton88 profile image
brighton88

I share the same fear. My main consultant said to me many times to take a holiday, In talking through my fears of travelling and becoming ill she asked if I would go with her to Pakistan? I laughed and said ok but I'm frightened of flying. She replied by saying 'now book a holiday anywhere in the world and know that I am with you in spirit' Anit I the lucky one to have such a wonderful consultant :-)

pleyland profile image
pleyland in reply to brighton88

Sounds like a fantastic consultant. My one complained that I was late when in fact I was early. A pompous old fool.

brighton88 profile image
brighton88 in reply to pleyland

I am so very lucky with all of my consultant's they joke that they expect brain injury patients to be late or forget so I always get a reminder the week and day before.

At the beginning of my journey the same consultant called me to say she was going away for a few weeks, and in a soft maternal voice asked me to confirm that I knew what to do if I should become unwell while she was away.

It is a disgrace I was misdiagnosed for so long leading to the problems I nave now but am so lucky with the treatment since I got away from that GP

pleyland profile image
pleyland

I think I'll go out shopping for a new consultant.

I hope you have many happy holidays.

Very best wishes

Paul

spartan300 profile image
spartan300

some of you are lucky to have had good advise from your doctors i had very little my consultant was suprised when after a holiday to bulgaria i felt a little better,it was my cousin who told me to go to a hot country,as her friend got better the nearer the equator she went, she has ms,i got my injuries from a vaccination,brain damage, serious damage to my nervous system,equivalent of a stroke, and ms symptems,and the reason wether this is true or not but it makes you think, iwas not told anything is becausethe drug companies make a lot of money from vaccines and drugs so the consultants get large sums of money from these companies,so if the consultants investigate vaccination damage their funding etc will stop,thats why i think i was told i would have to sort myself out after trying drugs that did not work, but sunshine did, take care all lots of love ,john xxx

cat3 profile image
cat3

Paul, I can't get certain comments out of my head,.....the ones about your fear of watching tv. What do you mean when you describe it as "too real"......and occasionally "terrifying".

I have a slightly selfish motive for asking as I've had a certain problem myself and would like to compare notes.(I need to keep the remote in my hand at all times )

Regards, cat x

pleyland profile image
pleyland in reply to cat3

Hi Cat, Its difficult to describe but I find myself getting immersed in certain programmes. I think I must be struggling to separate it from reality in some way.

I never used to have any problems watching the scariest films. Now an episode of Silent Witness completely freaks me out.

I was watching a film called Ted with my son. Very funny but then there was a bit where he gets kidnapped by a couple of weird guys and I had to walk away.

I tend to stick to comedy and wildlife documentaries now.

I also get it occasionally when reading certain things.

Cheers

Paul

cat3 profile image
cat3 in reply to pleyland

I'm struggling a little to identify with what you've described because it's quite different to my own problem. I am terrified by those government health information slots which are sneaked in between programmes or adverts. I'm sure they are well intentioned but they fill me with paranoia and dread and I can't get the images out of my head.....so I keep the remote handy to mute them and look away for a couple of minutes. Also,any drama or documentary containing health issues gets the bullet !

With regard to scary films.....the scarier the better.....except for gratuitous blood & guts. I'm really in to the BBC thriller 'Mayday' this week.

I think we're both just a bit crackers don't you? However, it does seem that,as you didn't have a problem prior to your stroke, that you have become oversensitized as a result of it,which is a shame if it means you are frequently so unsettled. It is only six months though....maybe it will ease in time. I hope so.

I am going to find a dvd of 'TED' and watch it out of sheer curiosity.

I hope you are going to keep us updated on your holiday plans and I wish you and your family all the very best.......cat x

pleyland profile image
pleyland

I know what you mean. The Macmillan one reminds me of my stroke every time! I make videos for lots of charities myself so I should know better!!

I'm definitely on the Jacobs side of biscuit!

Now starting to look forward to a little sunshine. Thanks mostly to all the feedback from here.

Will keep you posted.

Very best wishes.

Paul

misswingit profile image
misswingit

I am 19, I suffered a tbi in a car crash 4 years this July, I am planning my first holiday with my sister for maybe June.. I'm terrified, maybe not for the same reasons, but I suffer with a number of problems, one of the is not being able to say what I am trying to.. So I hope you understand if I say I'm not going to try to list my problems as it makes my head spin. I try to keep a positive attitude as I know how much I've wanted to do this well before my accident, but when I think about it I begin to worry, my head starts to spin and feel light headed, and my heart feels like its coming out of my chest.. Even thinking about the feeling makes my heart race.. To be honest I'm a little lost as to my point.. Think what I want to say is its nice to know your also feeling theses fears.. I've read lots of stories of people who a year later go of and travel for months at a time.. People much worse than me.. To be honest it makes me feel pathetic for feeling so scared of leaving the safety of my family home.. What I'm trying to say is you make me feel a little more 'normal'.. In a sense. My first post..

Good luck.. We can do it.. Charlie x

pleyland profile image
pleyland

Hi Charlie

You are most certainly not pathetic. I'm a a old fart of 53 and have traveled a lot. This fear is nothing rational and is simply our brains trying to deal with injury. Like others have said in response to my question. You need to find some reassurance from sites like these and maybe your GP. You also need to put some trust in your sister and let her know what your fears are. Perhaps you can come up with some contingency plans alongside which socks to pack.

Its been a miserable winter and we all need a little sunshine! I have now planned an Easter planning session for the holiday and I am starting to get excited. We have agreed to go somewhere within the EC so I can feel safe that there will be good medical care which I am sure I won't need, but will allow me to relax.

Have fun planning with your sister and please don't ever feel pathetic. It takes a huge amount of courage to deal with what has happened to you and you serserve a relaxed holiday more than anyone.

Take care and I hope you have a wonderful time.

Paul X

misswingit profile image
misswingit

Thank you, it's very encouraging hearing your story to help me get my butt into gear, keep my head up and get out there. I go through waves of feeling like it will be ok and then fear over it, silly stuff. I refuse to let this stop me. It's stopped me to many times now and I'm only to aware of how short life can be. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, you sound like a lovely man, really I do wish all the best for you and your family. Have a great time! Charlie x

Aelfwyn profile image
Aelfwyn

Coming in a wee bit late here but I just wanted to add something, please.

Paul and also Charlie, the panic reactions you talk about sound so like what I was having. Imagining worst case scenarios all the time was making me doubt my sanity and terrified of going on holiday. Couldn't watch anything threatening on TV etc. My fab neurologist picked up on it and said I was probably suffering from post-traumatic stress.

Long story short, he referred me to a psychologist who specialises in trauma. She sorted me out in about 8 sessions. It was so scary facing up to my worst fears and talking through them, but it worked. Wouldn't say I'm 'cured' but I can face the world again and look forward to a summer holiday.

So don't beat yourself up about being pathetic. You're not being pathetic; it's just a normal reaction you are having in the aftermath of trauma. Might be worth talking to a sympathetic doctor about it and raising the possibility of stress counselling.

Anyway, all the best to you both and enjoy your holiday, Paul!

pleyland profile image
pleyland

Thanks Aelfwyn, Thats very interesting as I cant watch anything in the slightest bit threatening on TV.

Seeing my Gp next week and will mention this.

Many thanks.

Paul

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