Anger

[timd59]

Any suggestions?

I am worried about anger. Seems that I have gotten really bad since my injury. I find that at least twice a day I go into a bad place and get very angry about myself. I do not know what to do about it and how to control it (not violent though). This only lasts about 10 - 15 minutes but is having an effect on people around me., Help!!!!!

[paxo05]

Hi, Have you talked to your GP, if not do so.

Anger management may be the answer. It may not cure it but it will give you tools or ways of dealing with it.

I was the same but didn't do anything about it until I started punching walls. It scared the he'll out of me.

They will teach you to recognise early signs and how to deflate the anger.

If you feel you can't talk to your GP then contact your local headway group they can help put you in contact with people who could help.

All the best

Pax

[timd59 in reply to paxo05]

Thank you very much, I will definitely be in touch with them. I assume that it has helped you?

[paxo05 in reply to timd59]

Yes it's helped me notice before it builds. Once you can recognise that it can be simply sitting down and controlling your breathing and calming down.

Different things work for different people, you can be helped to deal with the anger. Also where it builds up from.

Hope you get sorted,

Pax

[cat3]

Me too Timd...

It feels like there's a world of resentment against all the Bi limitations and losses and, because the resentment is buried beneath the 'I'm Ok' persona which we act out daily, the odd eruption isn't surprising.

Yesterday I smashed a new jar of Piccalilli onto the kitchen steps because the lid wouldn't budge.... so different from the days when I'd casually run it under the hot tap to release it.

Neuro staff alerted my loved ones to possible anger issues before discharge from hospital. But we talk about it openly, and as they see the anger is directed at myself or objects and never at them, it's easily defused.

As Pax suggests, do try the Headway helpline (freephone-0808 800 2244) for advice on groups & other sources of support.

I lost an appointment for CBT in 2019 (lockdown) and it hasn't been reinstated. But I often wonder whether these 'outbursts' aren't perhaps a necessary safety valve ? 🤔

I hope you find your way through this m'love... x

[timd59 in reply to cat3]

Thanks for your reply. Keep up the good work you and your family are doing. Don't want to be picallili in your house though!

[cat3 in reply to timd59]

🥴 x

[Teazymaid]

Like all other replies … speak to Dr or headway’s and speak to the family or friends that see you at your no so nice times … I was actually the same and still 20 months later not so good at times . I feel like I have no shut off moment and just erupt .. it’s horrible and I am aware and working to controlling my anger problems … I’m not surprised there are anger problems as for me I feel like I woke up in someone else’s body . Sue x keep talking to those close to you let them know it’s not what you want either ..

[Skulls]

Yes, Tim, it can be a problem especially when I am bristling with rage after talking to Calor on the phone and my heart feels like it is going to burst through my chest. BP rockets too. The only solution is avoidance.

[timd59]

Well it's worth a try! Problem I have is that my speech is very poor so am not able to vent at people easily!

[sealiphone]

This is a common attribute/prejudice about why we become angry, much like deaf people.

So at least consider if a 'normal' person would be angry at the treatment you have to deal with, of course anger management and a danger to others shouldn't be ruled out.

Around 2006 I spoke to the head of the head of the Psycholgogy department, Belfast and he found even the Psychology students held a cognitve bias, which could mean they see our actions through a prejudiced prism.

I can't recall what the study was or his name but he replied to my wife's email, concerning a possible genetic cause which would put our daughter at risk, the next morning his email explained a AVM is not a genetic risk, I was amazed at his prompt reply.

[timd59]

Thanks for the reply. I can't believe the knowledge of you all!