Looking to speak to people with a partner who suffers from a brain injury

[harold21]

Hey, Is there anyone in this group that has a partner with a brain injury but not one yourself. If so am I able to speak to you for some help?

[cat3]

Plenty of carers here Harold with experience of many different aspects of brain injury. Hope you'll get some responses tomorrow... Cat. x

[philbou]

Hi Harold

What can I help with buddy

[harold21 in reply to philbou]

I’ll drop you a private message if that’s cool

[Pairofboots]

Hi harold, I'm sure you will find people here. But are you looking for help, or looking to help others? If you are looking for help then don't write off the brain injured one's. This is a safe forum for all.

P.S. I have a brain injury, retired RN (MH) lead nurse specialist with experience from community through to forensic.

[sospan in reply to Pairofboots]

Yep, many of us have a very unique viewpoint after going through our own injuries and then becoming a carer for someone whom has subsequently gone through a similar experience.

I have mentioned a few times on the forum that my wife was a nurse for many, many years with a long stint in A&E. When she acquired her head injury she realised that all the training and nursing experience of head injuries were completely different from reality. When I had my head injuries many years prior to hers, it was a point of friction because I didn't recover or even act like she had been trained to expect.

[Pairofboots in reply to sospan]

Yes sospan, I always think if only I could have retained my registration and post, how differently I would have practiced. I thought I knew as much as you could about behaviour, and the triggers, boy did I find out so much more. It eventually taught me so much about how others, act and justify their actions when clearly their actions are misinformed, or malicious, as opposed to getting a kindness back to front.

[sospan in reply to Pairofboots]

it is the old saying about walking a mile in someone else's shoes.

Whilst I would not want to wish a head injury on anybody, personal experience especially life experience is vital. The number of ex-addicts beit drugs, gambling, alcohol whom provide services to others shows how valuable shared experience is

Sadly, one of the things that I believe has affected the quality of nursing in the NHS is is Nursing Degrees. I see so many nurses whom have gone from school to Uni to a Hospital with no experience of life. Whilst there are many girls (and boys) whom don't have the academic qualification but plenty from the "school of life" that would make them ideal nurses. When my wife used to work on a childrens "unit" (great term) and some of the male nurses for the MH adults looked like they came from the cast of the Sons of Anarchy but were some of the nicest and kindest carers.

[Pairofboots in reply to sospan]

Agree 100% , raising the registration qualifications does not increase quality. I strongly believe that we should be going back to the old nursing schools, basing training on experience, not academia. Yes theoretical knowledge is required, but that can be gained in service.

[sospan in reply to Pairofboots]

I would start everyone (including Doctors!) at the old domestic level. If you are too proud to clean you will never make a good nurse or doctor

[Pairofboots in reply to sospan]

I may not take them that low, not that domestics should be considered low. But certainly to care assistant/nursing assistant/HCA/support worker.

I met a st/n in a care home (my dad was a resident), she complained that she was bored and was learning nothing. I suggested that she just talk to the residents. Her reply, they don't make sense. I suggested that to them they make perfect sense, it's just that you are not listening.

We were given two ears and one mouth, so we could do twice as much listening as talking.

I hope she went on to use that phrase as many times as I have.

[sospan in reply to Pairofboots]

I have seen nurses whom won't give a patient a drink or get a bed pan - someone else's job ....... A stint in the sluice room will be a natural filter

As you say all about caring and listening.

One of the most incredible things I discovered in my life was that the JobCentre was forcing the unemployed into care posts despite their protestations that they didn't want to do it. That situations that must have resulted from this policy just make me shiver.

[Pairofboots in reply to sospan]

I've known some very unlikely care staff that were brilliant, and I have known bad. I have refused to accept staff on the grounds they were not fit for purpose. What a hornets nest that unleashed. As a Trust lead, I had all the justification to fail people. Never an easy choice, but in some cases, it was what the staff needed, they were able to retire on full pension, in fact it was what I put in place that allowed me to retire on full pension.

[Browns12]

Hi my husband had a brain hemerage on the 10th of February,

[Hopefull22]

Its our son that has a TBI (march2020). My husband and I are exhausted dealing with hospital appointments, basically we are doing the caring. It had effected his reading ability and for someone who’s passion was reading, mountains and marathons.It’s so sad. Very little support with rehabilitation, in fact if it weren’t for my husband our son would likely have given up.

They walk every day often more than once. NHS have been no help all they seem to do is cancel appointments. Their lack of communication is appalling to say the least. If that’s how they treat one of their own, with a few family members working in the NHS.

[ored13]

My husband suffered hypoxic injury 9 December last year. I'm a bit green, but happy to help however.

[claretand]

Hi harold21, my wife suffered a TBI December 2018, happy to help if I can

[New_beginning]

Hello harold21, my husband sustained TBI March 2020 we have two children 3 and 15, were 38 and 42

[skydivesurvivor]

good luck! Divorced my able hubby