My father had a fall on 7th March and suffered a severe traumatic brain injury, he was put in a medically induced coma and had brain surgery to remove the subdural hematoma. He is in intensive care and we are in the early days of his potential recovery.
I would really appreciate hearing about your experiences of comas and brain injury in general.
I'm very sorry to hear about your father's fall D it must be horrible for you too. But welcome to the forum. There will be others on here who will be knowledgeable about your father's accident and care - and you will find a lot of support here, whenever you need.
Talking to the Headway helpline is useful as well - it's office hours but they are really very good 0808 800 2244 you can also get support from a branch in your area.
Thank you for your response, I will definitely ring the Headway helpline as you suggested!
Hi Daughter.. A week is such early days. Your father's brain will need a period of rest and quiet (hence the induced coma) to heal and recalibrate ; don't be alarmed if that's longer than you anticipate. Scans and other tests will determine a time for bringing him round.
Your dad's responses when waking will be some indication of his levels of awareness and of the extent of the injury to his brain. But in the first few weeks patients often show confusion and lack of mobility, among other after-effects. So it could be a lengthy waiting period for you and his other loved ones to see him aware and functioning in any meaningful manner.
It'll be an anxious time for you as you wait for signs of progress, but bear in mind how his brain will be working tirelessly to readjust and re-route around any damage caused by the impact of the fall. As Painting-girl suggests, by phoning the Headway helpline on Monday you can obtain all the appropriate printed information and advice on brain injury, Calls are free and the lovely staff are available during office hours.
Best wishes for your father's safe return, sooner rather than later ; please come back with updates when you can.
Cat x
Hi Cat, thanks for your response, we are certainly aware that there will be many obstacles during his recovery, your kind words are very comforting x
I like your father got my traumatic brain injury from a fall whilst visiting my son in Devon,ambulance called off to a&e Exeter,catscanned I had brain haemorrhage s and a small mass of extra rural haematomas but mine had started to leak out my left ear as id fractured the skull behind it,like your dad I was put in a medically induced coma and transferred to Derriford hospital in Plymouth,the coma was to put my brain at rest so it could deal with the injuries better,I had my accident 2 years ago pre covid,but your dad's in the best place possible and will get all the support he needs.My son says in ICU I had 2 nurses who didshifts to look after me,I didn't need the operation because my clots had started to leak out my ear but had a bolt put in place on the left side of my head to monitor the intracranial pressure and a lumber drain inserted in my back as my cerebospinal fluid was leaking,I think for me I was awake between 4 to 6 days after but everyone is different in wake up times so don't worry he's in the safest hands possible
Thank you for your response, I am sorry to hear about your experience. A lot of the things you have described is similar to my dad, it is very comforting to know he is in the safest hands possible and to hear from someone who has personally had a similar experience
Yes New beginning is going through with her husband what my son did with me and you with your dad I always think it's harder for you'd at the beginning when there is so much uncertainty but remember he's in the best place possible at the moment
It is very hard but I am mindful that it has not even been a week yet and that there is a long way to go. Hopefully my dad is as strong as you and can eventually recover to live a full and meaningful life!
Extra dural it should read,sorry
What i have learnt in last 11mths 3wks everyone is different with recovering, everyone like myself given the worst outcome consultants give when questioned especially what life will be like, they didnt expect my husband to walk, talk or anything, yet 8 days later from life support machine he was obsconding by foot, could talk, but no capacity.
Its been the hardest year with covid on top, but despite what card has been dealt hes here, watching our young children grow and still progressing well, apparently we have another two years to see everything balancing out from all the hard work so far, along with adjusting and accepting changes.
I think the most frustrating thing is the uncertainty and of course the doctors are incredible but they can’t always give any definitive answers, especially concerning something as complex as the brain.
It is really heartwarming to hear that your husband is able to watch your children grow up and share that experience with you. I feel like any disabilities are obstacles come second to having that person in your life. Brain damage aside, all I want is for my dad to wake up to see me have children and live my life so that I can make him proud.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me
My son was told that if I woke up of be in a care home drooling
For goodness sake why do they say this sort of thing to family members! It really angers me that doctors and consultants are all incredibly callous. I had similar information on my husband.
It is only very early days for my dad but the doctors do say everything with an air of doom and gloom and constantly remind us that there is still “significant risk to his life” and that his brain damage will be severe etc. He is not awake yet so we don’t know what will happen, but the doctors don’t give a shred of hope - maybe they can’t if a situation is very serious?
How did things turn out for you and your husband, ored13? (If you don’t mind me asking).
We'll aout 2 weeks in I had a phonecall from a consultant saying that my husband wasn't able to maintain his airways and kept pulling his tubes out. His MRI had come back with so much damage that THEY had decided we should let him go. We fought tooth and nail and had to get a member of parliament or 2 involved to make sure that they moved him back into high dependency (they had moved him on to the general ward into a side room which was the worst place for him). Anyway the 2 consultants we were dealing with threatened us with him living as a vegetable and said things like "is that really the kind of life he would want, staring up at the ceiling unable to move or speak?". He could speak...not very well because that area was heavily affected and his left side. Well after a stint back in high dependency, maybe another week or so, he was moved to the neurosurgery ward. He had finally had a feeding tube well fitted...and they just treated him better there and we're more understanding of his condition. He was finally after about 4/5 weeks moved to the brain injury unit in a smaller hospital. Honestly he's come on leaps and bounds. He uses a tablet for Skype calls, he is getting on top of walking again. His catheter is finally out after 3 months. He has bowel control back. His speech is improving. He has a takeaway a week. Swears, laughs, paints, watches movies listens to Audible and music and engages with everyone. Not quite a vegetable.So take what you are being told with many many many pinches of salt. Ask questions. Phone a few times per day. Send your dad's phone in and speak to him about any old nonsense once a day just giving him updates. Ask the nurses bid they will hold the phone up to his ear or leave it next to his bed on speaker.
My husband is 46... It was horrifying that they would write someone off like that. Don't let them leave you feeling hopeless. Such early days. And so many lovely brains to pick on this group. It's an amazing place to be in.
Definitely speak to Headway. They are so supportive and will answer as many questions bad you need answered.b the website is fantastic and you can dip in and out of it. I only started looking at it a couple of weeks in because I just couldn't face some of the information. I'm still looking. Brains are amazing!!!
My husband has a Skype call with our local Headway group's co-ordinator on Tuesday which he is really looking forward to.
So a far cry from that prognosis that was given to us a few days before Xmas last year.
What I'm trying to say with all my waffling here is that there is hope. So many many people told me this on this group and they were so very right. ❤️
How are you and you family doing?
I am sorry that you had such a painful and difficult experience. I am not sure about other wards and units but intensive care have been absolutely amazing at looking after dad so far. Hearing how far your husband has come brought a tear to my eye, I am so hopeful hearing your story.
We have had a couple of zoom calls so far, we have now taken dad an iPod with zoom on so hopefully these can be more frequent now.
My dad is 59 and his dad died at 59 and he used to say he just wanted to live to 60. I am a week in and I am throwing myself into online research and communities, a few people have recommended talking to Headway directly so I will ring them tomorrow.
Your ‘waffling’ is greatly appreciated, we are trying to keep busy, be active in his recovery and we are just hoping and praying, thank you for sharing your experience with me.
Well it sounds like you are doing all the right things and keeping strong 🙂. The online communities are fantastic. I've not joined any others.l yet. I've recently started reading a book called Handywoman. Written by a woman who had a stroke. (It's my 1st non digital book in about 5 years 😆). I have hope. There is also a podcast called "life with no filter". It's been quite informative as well. I'm so pleased to hear that your ICU team is great...ours was too, we just got a wobble at the point where they thought a general ward would be a good option.
I also meant to say "Welcome to the group".
The book and podcast sound great! As an English teacher I am always partial to a real book! Thank you for your kind words and support
Well I was 59 when I had my accident so age is not an issue,as well as the brain issues I had 3 skull fractures,fractured my forehead,nose ,eye socket,cheek,dislocated my jaw had 4 broken ribs and had the cast put on for my fractured wrist whilst in a coma.When my son was asked how he felt about the possibility of switching off life support he said it's something he wouldn't discuss until that time came,sometimes because the Drs are unsure they give the relatives the worst. For me this also taught me about love and that my son would be there for me no matter what,so just keep doing what your doing and Ored13 I am so pleased your hubby is improving
It is incredible to see how far you have come considering what happened to you! When my dad fell, unbelievably, he literally did not have even a scratch anywhere on his body, the full force of his fall was impact on his head. I am so glad you have such a wonderful son who took care of you.
The good thing is that they have got to him quickly enough to make the difference,I just didn't want you to think because he was 59 it went against it doesn't I'm 61 now and blessed to be alive I was lucky I was able to leave hospital 4 weeks later but don't worry with your dad we all heal differently.I have issues it's the after effects of a brain injury but it's so much better to be alive first and foremost anything else can be dealt with,so stay strong and see him through this👍
Oh absolutely, I went to him as soon as I heard the thud and the paramedics were there in 2 mins and then doctors and surgeons all doing amazingly. The only focus for us at the moment is for him to stay alive and wake up, any after issues we will do our best to look after him! Thank you x
I always felt that the night of my accident I had the right people at the right time making the right decisions it looks like your dad is in that position fingers are crossed for you
I m 4 months on from my husband's TBI.MRI predicted the worse yet he woke..started rehab and is home 2 weeks ago. I was told to prepare for the worse..hope for the best..i searched everywhere for a answer..and learnt there are no answers..frustrating..but sending all hope to you.
It is amazing to hear that he woke up and was able to return home to you. That is all I am hoping and praying for. You are totally right, the lack of answers is very frustrating - I am somehow finding solace in reading research about techniques to aid recovery from brain injuries. Thank you for your well wishes and thank you for sharing your experience with me.
Hi D,
I suffered a life threatening TBI four and a half years ago and was not expected to survive. Medically induced coma (MIC) and infection in open wound saw me back in hospital Neuro Critical Intensive Care for near enough eight weeks in total.
I dont recall much of that and certainly it was worse for those around me.
Couldnt talk properly (although I thought I was making perfect sense!), couldnt use a phone and had no control over anything, although when they brought me out of the MIC initially, I started ripping the sensors off and the oxygen out of my mouth.....my thoughts......”what the hell are they doing experimenting on me?” So staff and visitors held me down whilst they knocked me out again! Apparently a common thing to happen I am now told!
Anyway, your Dad will be in no pain, probably dreaming of pleasant things but do talk to him, play him music, etc he WILL be able to hear even if it may be jumbled up.
(My own case was that in the OT the staff were talking about their Christmas Party. In my unconscious state, I still recall asking if patients could join the staff party, going to the nearby pub with them and asking the neuro if I was allowed a pint! ‘Yes but in moderation’ Obviously didnt happen but its weird how the brain reacts.
Since then, I have taken much interest in friends and colleagues who have had similar medical issues and have been quite a campaigner for such things.
Getting a “second chance”after being written off is shocking but true.
Praying for your Dads recovery. 🙏❤️
It is amazing to hear from someone like you who has actually personally suffered a TBI, especially looking at my dad now comatose with tubes everywhere - the idea that one day he could be awake and able to communicating gives me hope.
Yesterday we actually dropped off an iPod at the hospital with a playlist of 90s rock songs and power ballads (my mum and dad’s musical sweet spot), and a recording of my mum recounting their first date. We can’t see him due to COVID so we wanted to provide something to soothe him. Hopefully this helps him be comfortable and happy for now.
I am definitely finding solace in exploring this community of people who have had similar experiences. Thank you for your kind words and well wishes, and thank you for sharing your experience with me.
Hi there,so sorry you are here( deffo welcome & in the right place tho) I was recommended by headway some weeks ago.you will find lovely people who will give you advice/ support.my son has been in hospital for 3 months now and I havnt seen him.it sucks.be assured staff will do best for your dad and again,its time..the music/ etc will all help.we want to know answers don't we?its very hard.keep coming back,read the stories even from years ago you will find its gives you comfort( if that's the right word). Time for dad to heal love that's what's needed,they say its harder for us?I think that's correct.take care big hug and keep us up to datexxx
Sorry to hear about your son! I think focusing on what we can do to help definitely works as a bit of a distraction and also makes us feel like we are doing something meaningful in a time where we feel so helpless. It is hard for us to be living without that person, I am trying to find comfort in the fact that my dad is not in any pain and is resting. Thank you for sharing your experience, I am praying for your son xxx
D, my wife took pictures of me in that state with pipes and tubes everywhere and eye black from I presume brain swelling. I dont share that but it is totally shocking to me and anyone else seeing it. Obviously I was out of it at the time, but I have hope for your Dad and anyone else. Obviously every single case is completely different, but if this gives you something to cling onto during these very difficult times, then I have at least tried to give you some hope. Patience and calmness are needed, I wish your father well and you the fortutude to cope.
Best. ❤️
We have taken a couple of screenshots while on zoom so we can just see how he looks and compare his appearance each time. We are certainly aware that patience will be so important as this is clearly going to be a very long journey. Thank you so much for your kind words.
Shreds this made me smile I can remember those no!ends when you think your the only same one there😀
Shreds that should read moments predictive text is getting in the way
So sorry to hear about your Dad, bless him. I myself was placed in a coma for a couple of weeks after being attacked. I can honestly say I don't remember anything for 2 months of my life but when I became aware again I knew nothing and still don't to this day of the time attached to machines.Bets wishes x
Thank you for your kind words, I am sorry about your experience. Would it be ok if I ask you for details of what happened to you? Hearing that you woke up from a coma is very heartwarming and it would be interesting to compare your experience to my dad. No worries if you don’t want to share!
I was kicked in the head numerous times. Prior to that punched in the face by 2 of the attackers several times.This resulted in 4 fractures to the skull. 6 teeth damaged. 4 broken ribs. A collapsed lung. Bruising to the entire body.
My patience is appalling now but fine with children. Frontal cortex damage lead to impulsive comments and literally anything can be said without boundaries. Awareness came back slightly after a couple of months but that's down to people reminding that things are appropriate and what's not. A very long process that takes time to build. I have very little memory of the first 2 months of so in 2 different hospitals. 4 months in hospital & I'd say the last 6-8 weeks in them I was more aware of where I was and why.
Hope you're OK!
I am so sorry that happened to you - it is amazing to see the progress you have made, thank you for sharing your experience with me!
Thank you. Absolutely best wishes to you & your Dad. Message anytime if I can help then I will!
Hi Daughter 1995. I'm in work at the moment and so can't post a long response, but I had a sever TBI after falling 30ft. think that I think that I have touched on my experiences of a severe TBI (GCS score of 3) previously on here in some of my previous posts. Feel free to message me if you have some specific questions and I will endeavour to respond at length with my thoughts based on my experiences when I have the time.
-Leo
Thank you for your response, I have messaged you separately!
Hi! I suffered a severe brain injury last year after a very bad horse riding accident. I was in an induced coma for 3 weeks. They were unsure about the level of recovery I would make as I had such extensive bruising, swelling and bleeding on my brain. Definitely were a lot of difficult times during my recovery but the care at royal Stoke hospital was just incredible. I was only 22 at the time and due to covid my parents weren’t allowed to visit for the first few months. I had intensive physiotherapy, speech therapy and occupational therapy. The rehabilitation was a long process but after 6 months in hospital, I was finally able to go home. I carried on progressing at home and now I am pretty much fully recovered! I am now back horse riding which is what I love most and always will do. All the best to your father!
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