Decision making : Good morning, Can I ask if anyone... - Headway

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Decision making

twice profile image
30 Replies

Good morning,

Can I ask if anyone has had problems with making decisions

I really struggle with this and it gets so annoying, I have problems in all situations I.E. clothes shopping , food shopping and then trying to decide what to have to eat, most times I just stare at the choice of food that i have in the cupboard or fridge and then I just walk away and leave it, it's like my brain just switches off at times. Also just trying to decide what to wear every day, even if I am not going out it takes so long to choose what to wear, I don't recall this happening until fairly recently, probably about a year I suppose, I certainly don't think it was a problem after my accident.

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twice profile image
twice
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30 Replies
walkingtalking2 profile image
walkingtalking2

I can fully relate to this, I do worry it is getting worse with time too. I just feel that my brain can't make the links, deciding something seems so far out of reach.

twice profile image
twice in reply to walkingtalking2

Hi

Yes it can be so frustrating, just a simple decision about something so easy, Having a brain injury certainly makes me realise how much we take our brains for granted and never give it a second thought pre injury.

walkingtalking2 profile image
walkingtalking2 in reply to twice

Absolutely, I cant really think about brains much, creeps me out how fragile they are... however its amazing too what makes us work.

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22

I have this too. With me I think it's partly a difficulty with processing information, partly poor concentration, partly short term memory problems and also I don't trust my own decision making processes and I am impulsive now whereas I used to be a cautious person.

I try to take extra time and sometimes delay a decision until I have written things down and thought about it all.

All the best. 🌸😊

twice profile image
twice in reply to Marnie22

Thank you for the advice, that's interesting because I have been diagnosed with cognitive impairment by the memory clinic, I will try writing things down and then maybe it will be easier to decide from a list rather than looking at everything in front of me.

Thank you

Take care

Marnie22 profile image
Marnie22 in reply to twice

🙂🌸

Ruuj profile image
Ruuj

Yes I do derinately... I also have anxiety mosy of the time..its draining

Pairofboots profile image
Pairofboots

Yes I experience this. As you said it didn't seem to be a problem until later into recovery. My ex wife just thought I was being lazy by choice.

I often just stand there looking, trying to work out what to eat. I used to be a good cook. But yes, it slowly got to the point that decision making seemed to become paralysed.

I do get sparks of inspiration, like a sudden flick of the switch. The other day I went to make a cuppa, hour and half later I had a fruit cake. But those are rare occasions. Before my brain hiccup, I used to regularly cook for 25-30 people. Now, some days, it ends up getting to the point I just have to choose, whatever, as long as it is edible, just so I at least eat something.

As for clothes, I have cut down on choice, but this does limit activity, these days, it seems scruffy or scruffy, if it's a good day, then I might get to semi scruffy.

Do what is least stressful, it doesn't mean you give up trying, but unless you work and regularly socialise, does it really matter? At least under the current restrictions there isn't much work or socialising.

twice profile image
twice in reply to Pairofboots

So glad I am not the only one, I was beginning to think i was losing the plot, wow cooking for 25-30 people, I'm glad its just me here, yes that's true I guess it doesn't matter much what I wear at home, I only get out for appointments these days, socialising seemed to end after my injury and at the moment getting back to work seems a bit out of reach,

But hoping I can one day is what's keeping me going.

Thanks for the advice

Take care

Pairofboots profile image
Pairofboots in reply to twice

The cooking was pre hiccup, I tried once at Headway, nearly went into melt down, and that was with someone promoting.

We all keep trying and hoping, however long it may be, that why each and every one of us are magic.

Keep safe.

Absolutely! After daily practice of simple choices leading to more difficult, that my OT used to set, because I couldn't decide what task 😋. It took about 3 years of constant training, whereby I was experiencing the same as you guys. Its not cured but its a hundred times better!

So my advice is to practice practice practice and start simple say with a fun decision based game?

It's very frustrating I know, be kind to yourself, there's no rush, have fun and relax in to it x

twice profile image
twice in reply to

Thanks for the advice, sounds like a good plan, will try what you say, it's great to get so much advice from you all .

In my experience since my injury once I got discharged from hospital there wasn't much after care at all, I did a fatigue management course at headway, which was said to me in a chance conversation by someone, otherwise I wouldn't have known anything about headway.

Thank you

Take care

Misty4 profile image
Misty4

Yes. Yes. Yes

LouBL0u profile image
LouBL0u

Hi

I was paralysed by descion making in the beginning - it would go round in my head and i would still be sitting on the sofa at the end of the day!

I started small, would rehearse in my head how to make a cup of tea. One task at a time - multi-tasking was beyond me!

Unfortunately washing up still completely floors me and my family don't get it.

I shower a lot less and have a pile of clothes in a heap that i go to every day. If I find myself struggling with what to wear I just tell myself that I've worn it before so I must be ok with it!

Honestly, rehearse and try when you have the energy...

Take care x

twice profile image
twice in reply to LouBL0u

Hi

Yes starting small and gradually trying more and practicing sounds really good

I love the advice about the clothes, it makes a lot of sense to do that .

Thank you

Take care

Misty4 profile image
Misty4

Mine was decision making to the extreme. Bought another two static caravans without a thought to the consequences, used most of my pension money and am now paying the price till they sell. Can’t stop kicking myself

twice profile image
twice in reply to Misty4

Wow that is an incredible story, I have done some things on the spur of the moment that have been expensive, I.E. going out to buy a jumper and spending 600 pounds on clothes and no jumper . But that is really insignificant to yours.

Hope things turn out ok for you

Thank you for sharing that.

Take care

LouBL0u profile image
LouBL0u

Impulse control was crazy - went to buy a sandwich and brought a flatscreen TV instead! Booked a holiday on a Wednesday for me and my sister - phoned her up and said we were leaving on the Saturday! Thank goodness she came and looked after me.

My impulse control is so much better now, so I hope others get better as well

Take care x

twice profile image
twice in reply to LouBL0u

Another incredible story, it's only since reading this that I can connect impulse buying and decision making .

Really interesting, my brain is working overtime now!

Take care

Misty4 profile image
Misty4 in reply to LouBL0u

I’m very tempted to give my daughter power of attorney over my money. Bit late I know

Misty4 profile image
Misty4

I’m hoping it all turns out ok. My son is trying to sell them but is stumped all the while we have the coronavirus which has shut the caravan parks down

twice profile image
twice in reply to Misty4

Yes I understand your predicament, it must be really frustrating for you at the moment

Misty4 profile image
Misty4 in reply to twice

Frustrating and worrying

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine

Yes, can totally relate to this.

I'm not impulsive in decision making but generally scared to make choices.

Pre TBI I was pretty laid back and on the fence but now I can feel anxious about making a choice / decision and then sticking to it.

twice profile image
twice in reply to Brain_or_Shine

It's fascinating how a simple decision or choice can become so difficult, and how every brain injury is different' yet there are so many similarities between the long term effects.

Take care

Brain_or_Shine profile image
Brain_or_Shine

Absolutely, personally I can make complicated stuff look easy at times but simple stuff look like rocket science.

The wonderful world of brain injury. ☺️

deborah27 profile image
deborah27

Yes, 100% identify with this. I have to hang clothes outside the wardrobes, otherwise I forget what I have! Then putting them together, well, what an effort. What order to do things in is a real issue, spend more time on this than I want to. I have noticed though, when the busyness and noises of the day are gone and I'm getting rested... I can recall certain things and get a little bit of organised thought.

twice profile image
twice in reply to deborah27

Hi

Yes I have also noticed that it seems to be more difficult in a noisy environment

I call it joining the dots... its something I no longer have ability to do its like the messages get stuck somewhere in the fog that used to be my brain! 😀 Kate

Froggiefrog profile image
Froggiefrog

Apologies in advance for any dark humour, but it really is the only way to deal with some things. I had the first of three surgeries to replace an infected VP shunt almost a year ago. I still have several unresolved issues around fatigue, memory, sequencing of tasks and decision making. My job title when hospitalised? A 'decision maker'...

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