Another hurdle over

It's 15 weeks since my ruptured aneurysm and 3 hr operation to coil it. Today I travelled 1 and 1/2 hrs for my first appointment with the neurosurgeon. Last night a new feeling manifested itself. I Became very anxious about the appointment even though it was just a meeting. It's the first time I have been back to the hospital and because I can't remember anything of the first 3 days I had put it to the back of my mind and pretended to myself that it hadn't happened as a way of coping. And because I was going back to the hospital where I stayed and was blue lighted to, it became real again and I was very anxious to attend the appointment. (how not me). Anyway just another symptom to overcome. The good news was that I was discharged from this consultants care today although I do have another consultant to see in February and have an MRI scan. I was told today that I looked remarkable and all the symptoms 're fatigue, anxiety, short term memory loss, anger and emotional outbursts are all part of the brain bleed and only time will help with these issues. I know from reading some of the posts that it can be months or even years. When I told him I felt I was lucky he was quite silent and then said "no not lucky as you have had a very serious bleed and as most people don't make it to hospital you are doing remarkable". I guess he doesnt use the word lucky but I still think I am. I know I look like me but also mentally I am very different and will have to take each new feeling or symptom of the bleed one day at a time. Tired now after a long journey and anxiety by hey ho!!

[Froggiefrog]

That sounds like a full on ordeal, so congratulations on coping with it. I can certainly empathise with what you say about feeling lucky, even if our reasons for being here have a different cause.

I count myself very lucky, certainly compared to others and also that I am able to focus on what is possible, as opposed to worrying too much about what is less so and out of my control.

Regardless of profession, or expertise, some people find the concept of 'luck' and 'good fortune' harder to accept than others. Medicine revolves around fact, analysis, scrutiny, assessment, intervention and conclusion. That probably doesn't leave much room for a belief in luck and good fortune...but that doesn't mean you don't feel lucky, or that people don't understand that you feel that way and why.

Rest well and,..good luck!

[Hidden in reply to Froggiefrog]

Thank you so much for understanding. I am lucky and appreciate the second chance even with it's challenges . I also thank you for your upbeat posts and poems. You are so clever or is it the dog??

[Froggiefrog in reply to Hidden]

Trudie's definitely the clever one! The things I write are to keep my brain exercised!

[Marnie22]

Just wanted to send you good wishes.

[Hidden in reply to Marnie22]

Thank you marine. How's the lamp going?

[Marnie22 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. Have been too unwell to pick it up yet - hopefully tomorrow. 🙃

[Hidden in reply to Marnie22]

Sorry should have read marnie

[Rachel497]

I too had a SAH about 3 years ago ! I too know that folk tell me I’m lucky to have survived! I spent about a month in each of the ICU pods at Bristol Southmead hospital. From there I went to DENE BARTON - a rehabilitation centre near Taunton where I spent 6 months. I arrived there not being able to walk, talk or write and they used to hoist me to move me where they wanted me to go!!

I’ve was told that I’d never be able to live on my own as I’m divorced with 4 amazing children!

My determination has proved them wrong!

I do now live on my own and have joined the local U3A ( university of the third age )

And have a very busy weekly schedule of walking and strolling group! I’m also relearning bridge! So my message to you is never ever give up!

Also the DVLA have given me back my Driving Licence! I tried both manual and automatic lessons but don’t feel quite ready for that yet! To drive a car is one of my goals for 2020.

I achieved another New Years resolution recently when I hosted my first supper party.

I would definitely say I was one of the lucky ones as one of the men from the rehab unit is still in 24/7 care.

May I wish you all the best for 2020 and please, please keep fighting!!

Best Wishes

Rachel

[Hidden in reply to Rachel497]

Thank you Rachael and very well done with all you have achieved. I hope your supper party went well. The consultant yesterday said I could drive but DVLA has yet to return my licence and approve. I wouldn't be able to cope with that yet as another big hurdle for me is going out on my own. For whatever reason I just cant go out on my own. It's not that I am frightened something will happen it's a horrible feeling of anxiety. I will have to try and overcome this as it will become more of a problem as time goes by but I don't feel ready yet. It's so strange to feel this way as I was always very independent. "ONE SMALL STEP FOR MANKIND" and all that. Hope 2020 is good for you. All the very best.

Carolyn

[Rachel497 in reply to Hidden]

Ditto ditto ditto. Was always such an outgoing person and extremely confident!! Suffer now from anxiety too. This was previously Pooh poohed! I never really understood the word previously but now get it!! Have been on a course recommended by my OT! It didn’t particularly help though! Good to hear from you though . Take care . Best wishes Rachel xx

[Williewind]

Best Wishes for the future. I had a serious bleed In 1969 when I was 12 years old...

[SAH-survivor]

Hi Rudchester

I don’t often get time to post on here but always read. I was touched by tour post as I went through exactly the same story. I too had a SAH in Aug 2018 and 17 months later, although my speech and physical symptoms have improved, I still have the ongoing daily headaches, fatigue, memory, etc etc

My doctors always tell me the same, that I should’nt even be here with the bleed I had so we have to accept that and live with the new people we have become. I hope you do get better with time. Don’t pressure yourself into getting back to work too quickly or at all. Take care

[FlowerPower62 in reply to SAH-survivor]

"we have to accept and live with the new people we've become", struck a chord with me, as I'm just reading a book recommended by someone on here (was it pinkvision?) The author did not accept it at all, and pursued new therapies which changed his life dramatically. I'm not up to that bit yet, he's still describing life before, but I can't wait to see what the new therapies involved. I'm not a third of the way through yet, but it's fairly easy reading, and very interesting. "Ghost in my brain" by Clark Elliott. It's good to accept changes, of course, but only after all avenues have been explored. X