Self harm

[Tgirl79]

Hi, Been a member almost a yr, hubby had tbi Feb 18, recently found out our daughter's been self harming, she's 13 an were completely devastated, she's been going through depression all on her own 😢😢

[cat3]

Do you think it's your daughter's way of relieving tension or a subconscious cry for help ……….or both ? Your husband's BI and seizures have naturally been shocking and children often cope by going into denial.

I remember coming home from school, aged 11, to find a neighbour making tea for my brother and I and telling us my mum was at the hospital as my dad had collapsed in the street.

We spent months visiting him on a psychiatric ward but I couldn't admit to being terrified by the sudden change in him and his vacant demeanour, so I kept shtum but started playing truant from school as I couldn't focus on schoolwork.

I'm assuming your daughter's self harming is a reaction to events at home. Have you managed to get her to open up about how she's feeling ? I'm so sorry for all your troubles. Cat x

[Phoenix68]

Hi Tgirl79 I also found out about my daughter self-harming when she was around that age but that was 9 years ago. I felt so confused and just didn’t know what to do. I don’t think we handled it well at the time, as we didn’t really give her the feeling that she was accepted no matter what. What’s your gut feeling as to the best thing to do for her? Do encourage her to talk, reassure her that you are there for her, and that you still love her all the same no matter what... perhaps she doesn’t want to open up to you but maybe to a friend or teacher or whoever she feels comfortable with. Try and ensure she has some physical activity, maybe join the gym together or go swimming. Be there for her in fun ways, maybe have girls’ evenings doing each other’s hair or nails, just simple stuff to have therapeutic time together.

In my experience the GP and CAMHS didn’t help but there organisation such as harmless.org.uk perhaps you can contact them for support.

I wish you all the best ❤️

[trelfy1]

I’ve had similar issues with my teenage daughter, I believe which is caused by my tbi. Have you contacted your GP? They can get CAMHS involved to help get to the route of the issue, my daughter has stopped self harming since speaking to a professional .

[Bradbike]

My daughter too after her eldest brother had a tbi and stroke. I spoke to Senco at school who got onto CAHMS. Senco said quickest route to Cahms was to take her to a&e at the time of discovering another incident of self harm. Cahms put her in counselling and on a course for anxiety management. Daughter says it helped loads knowing other kids feel the same way. Biggest advice Senco,counsellor,doc and Cahms gave; remove the phone! Most teens get lost in a whirl of phone,phone, phone and loose the art of communication and search the net for info instead of human connections. Good luck with it all. I’ve got info from Cahms I could send to you if you think it would help. X

[DTBI]

My 14yr old daughter was devastated by my TBI in France 5yrs ago, we were all on holiday. She wasn’t able to see me for a couple of months and she was chuffed to see me survive it. However, over the next years it remained a significant part of her teenage years so we’ve had her seeing a psychologist (privately) for over the last year which has helped her to establish some sanity in life. Good luck with your daughter x